Risen from the Dead
by Spectra98
Summary: It's been a little over six months since Nick and Judy last saw each other. But in that time Judy's life has fallen apart, and the guilt she has over her actions affects her mentality badly. Now she has a chance reunion with Nick, but with everything that has been said and done. Will she be able to mend her relationship with Nick? Or, is Nick beyond forgiving her?
1. Chapter 1

**AN: (I just want to make a few things perfectly clear:**

-As some of you might have thought, this story is inspired by Borbas comics 'I Will Survive' and Born to be Alive.'

-NO, I am not trying to throw a punch at him or anything like that.(Although I do know there are a lot of you that want to do that) I respect the artist for his drawings, and he does have the right to create his comics the way he wants.

-I'm not like those good writers like Cimar, Crewefox, Dizzie HamHam Writer or Tyler-Z-Crimson, so I ask you to please bear with me as I write this story.

-I'm rating this T for dark but that's only for the beginning, it does get better in the future I promise. By that I mean there is WildeHopps in a future Chapter.

-I could really use feedback on this please.

The length of this is probably going to be around 10 chapters. Fair warning: There is going to be lengthy flashbacks that have details on certain characters backstories, before the present.

I know that the story might contain potential for controversy, I'm not asking you to keep your opinions to yourself. But please be polite when you do comment.)

**Chapter 1: Flashbacks**

Disclaimer:I do not own Zootopia or any of it's characters, they all belong to Disney. Rated T for Dark

Sitting on her old bed, wearing a pink tank top and black sweatpants in her old apartment building, the Grand Pangolin Arms, was Judy Hopps. She moved back in here sometime after her breakup with Shay. She's busy writing about the events that lead up to this moment.

"I really didn't think this is where I would be right now." Judy said, in her journal.

"Sorry let me re-phrase that. Hi I'm Judy and I have a lot to say right now. I'll start by telling you what happened two weeks after Nick showed up." Judy started.

**Flashback to Six Months Ago...**

It's the middle of the day and Judy's day off. She had just finished cleaning the apartment when Shay came in. She was on her lunch break and came over to take her out, but that was when there was a knock at the door.: It was Judy's parents.

When they came in they were in shock at the look of the apartment, which was different to what she told them. They were even more shocked to see Shay here and not Nick.

"Who are you?" Stu asked with a stern expression.

"H-Hi I'm Shannon, nice t-to meet you." Shay replied while stuttering a bit.

"Sweetheart you told us that you and Nick had separate rooms." Bonnie said to Judy, sounding concerned, "Also where is Nick?"

"Well, I can explain." Judy said giving a weak smile to her parents.

"We're all ears." Stu said turning his attention to his daughter.

Everybody sat down at the sofa and Judy explained from the top, the things between her and Nick. It took her nearly half an hour to cover the whole story. To say that her parents were disappointed was an understatement.

"An **ABORTION**!? Are you Kidding me Judith" Stu shouted using her full name.

"Judith Hopps, bunnies don't just up and get an abortion like that!" Bonnie shouted, also using her full name, sounding a bit angry, "How could you do it?"

"It was my choice and I still stand by it." Judy stated.

"How can you say that?!" Bonnie said, "This isn't something you can just write off! Like it's not a big deal!"

"Not only did you chose to do this, you lied about it. To your own parents no less." Stu said while pointing at Judy.

"I didn't lie, I just didn't tell you. But I knew you guys wouldn't understand or approve." Judy said crossing her arms.

"Well you're right on the abortion but your wrong about Nick." Stu said.

"Wait, what?" Judy said sounding confused.

"Judy with everything you said about him, and seeing you two together at the homestead, we started looking at him as our son-in-law." Bonnie said calmly

"You did, when did you guys start?" Judy asked.

"A few months after you brought him to the homestead the first time. Although it did take your father a while to come around to it." Bonnie said while Stu scratched the back of his head for a moment.

Hearing that her parents approved of Nick was a shock to her, but she had to ask an important question, "Do you still see him like that?"

"Yes we do. Were just disappointed how things ended between you." Stu said, while crossing his arms.

"He left me when I needed his support. Doesn't that count for something?" Judy asked.

"Don't try and blame him young lady!" Bonnie said coldly

"But-" Judy started but was cut off by her dad.

"Judy how can you expect him to stand by you as you're killing his child, and our grandchild for your **DAMN** career." Stu said flatly.

That last sentenced burned Judy. Knowing that her parents still didn't approved of her being a police officer. But did approve of her being with Nick. That was the last straw for her.

"You know what? You can just get out!" Judy shouted at her parents as she got up," I don't care if your my parents! Nothing I ever do gets you guys off my back!"

Hearing their daughter speak to them like that was atrocious, but they complied anyway. "Fine we'll leave." Stu said, as he and Bonnie got up and made their way to the door. But not before saying a few more things to Judy.

"You know we used to be so proud of you. But now we're going to be asking ourselfs: what did we do to deserve a daughter like you?" Stu said.

"Another thing if you continue this **NONSENSE** of being with that fox!" Bonnie said while pointing at Shay, before she continued, "You can forget about stepping foot on the family farm again!"

Judy weighed the threat in her mind; she loved Bunny Burrow, and she did love her family. So the thought of never going back home terrified her. But she had enough of her parents as she shouted, "**GO TO HELL, BOTH OF YOU!**" before slamming the door to them. She stood there for a moment inhaling and exhaling very quickly before she began to sob.

"Judy are you okay?" Shay asked, as she stood in front of her and she looked up.

Judy went to Shay and hugged her for a moment before saying, "I'm okay."

The two spend a couple more seconds in silence, while Judy was smiling due to the embrace, before Shay broke it by saying, "I think I should go."

"Huh?" Judy said, sounding surprised while breaking the embrace, "Why?"

"I'm sorry Judy, but I should get back to work. My lunch break is almost over." Shay said, telling a half-lie.

"Wait is this about what my parents said because I-" Judy said but was cut off by Shay.

"NO! No it's-" Shay started, as she made her way to the door, but paused as tears welled up in her eyes, "I have to go, sorry." She said, then left through the door in a hurry.

"SHAY!" Judy shouted, but she was gone. As she stood there and thought about what happened earlier. What her mother said still played in her mind.

"Ugh stupid parents." Judy said, to no-one. But as she turned around she saw a figure standing in the living room area staring at her. But the figure vanished as soon as she blinked, "What was that?"

**(ONE WEEK LATER)**

Judy and Shay were on there way to work in silence. Both having different thoughts at the time.

For Shay the recent visit from Judy's parents brought back a memory that really hurt her, and she didn't want to think about it. She spent a few days after the visit being depressed.

For Judy she had a lot on her mind. Namely after her parents visit, she was no longer welcomed at the homestead. It was upsetting for sure. But what was bugging her was that strange figure that appeared.

When the two arrived, they agreed to meet up later at a coffee shop for lunch, per Shay's request. They parted ways after a quick peck on the lips.

Judy was on her to the front desk to chat with Clawhauser, like she usually does before going to roll call. But the way he was looking at her meant something was wrong.

"Hi Ben whats up." Judy said as she stood in front of the cheetah. Ben didn't say anything instead gave her an empty expression.

"It's funny you should ask." Ben said, giving a fake smile, before handing Judy a piece of paper.

"What is this?" Judy asked as she received the paper.

"Why don't you look at it." Ben said calmly but with a bit of venom that Judy missed.

Judy looked at the document, and realized what it was: her medical record. But what caught her attention was that a date was highlighted. The date that she had her abortion. Which was also the date that Nick resigned. Realizing this she looked up at Ben, and was met with an angry glare.

"It's the reason why Nick left isn't it?" Ben said sounding mad, while snatching the document back from her.

"Ben listen-" Judy started but was cut off.

"NO! You listen!" Ben shouted, which caught the attention of all the other officers. "How could you keep this a secret from us?!

"I just didn't tell you." Judy replied.

"We were on your side during the whole thing. But realizing the truth only now we should have sided with him." Ben said.

"I...I did it for my career." Judy stuttered.

"Are you saying that the rest of us should do the same thing you did?!" Came a voice that sounded very angry.

Both Ben and Judy turn to see who it was, and coming over to them. It was Officer James Wolford. This meant trouble for Judy, because she knew that James and Nick were so close that they acted like brothers to one another. So finding out that Nick left because of her means one thing. He would be very angry.

"That's not what I'm saying James." Judy said

"That's Officer Wolford to you rabbit!" James shouted while pointing at her. "And knowing that you did it and hid it from us here, disgusts me. To think we could trust you."

"But Wolford!" Judy said but was cut off.

"Don't bother! Besides I knew Nick was right throughout this entire ordeal. He didn't deserve any of the backlash I know you definitely gave him for your own selfish reasons." James said while turning his back to her, while trying to calm down but failing at it. "I can't be in the same building, let alone the same room with you. Which I think we all can agree to right?"

All the Officers in the area nodded their heads in agreement before James continued. "You don't even deserve to call yourself a cop with the way you treat your own kin, even if they hurt you in some way."

As he left Judy looked around her and saw that all the Officers gave her looks of disappointment and disgust. It was even worse than the looks she got on her first day here.

"*sigh* It's not like things can get any worse." Judy whispered.

"**HOPPS MY OFFICE NOW!**" Boomed Bogo's voice. This caught Judy off guard.

As she made her up the steps to the Chief's office, she heard her fellow colleagues gossip about her. One of the officers said something that made her heart skip a beat.

"Hopefully Bogo takes her badge."

When she arrived in the office and sat on one of the chairs, she could feel his death glare as he explained her current situation.

"SUSPENSION! Why!" Judy shouted in shock.

"If you really have to ask, withholding information and causing a riot in my precinct." Bogo said, while pointing at the documents on his desk, before continuing. "It was one thing to lose Wilde, but since last week a lot of the best officers here, have been requesting to be relocated because of you. I had to put their requests on hold until I spoke with you."

"But sir, my situation was different to other mammals and I only did it so wouldn't have to quit." Judy said but then thought about something else. "Wait, my secret only came out last week?"

"It did. I had both Wolford and Clawhauser do medical checks on all officers to ensure that they are in perfect condition and there is no major illnesses or injuries, and your name got red flagged since it tied with the date that Wilde left." Bogo explained

"But-" Judy started but was cut off

"No buts! Look Hopps this job is a give and take." Bogo said calmly. "I've been working here for most of my life before I met my wife. Even though I've been married for a few years, I still feel lucky to have her, do you think I didn't want that? You may have done what you did for your job but it's cost you a lot hasn't it?"

Judy didn't respond immediately, but instead glanced to her right to see the same figure from before. But just like before the figure vanished when she blinked.

"And that cost will only grow. One month suspension." Bogo said.

"What!?" Judy shouted, as she looked back at Bogo

"One month Hopps. And I'm giving you the rest of the day to get your priorities straight." Bogo explained calmly.

"You can't just give me a suspension over a stupid fox like Nick! And my priorities are straight, and it's **RIGHT HERE CHIEF!**" Judy shouted more forcefully than she intended, she immediately regretted it when Bogo glared at her, while she calmed down and sank back into her chair.

"For that, I'm giving you two months suspension and I'm taking away your position as lieutenant, for raising your voice to your superior and insulting a fellow officer. Also I'm putting you on parking duty until further notice when you get back." Bogo explained

"But-" Judy started but was cut off.

"No buts! I advice you to leave before I change my mind Hopps." Bogo threatened.

Judy then got up and when to the door, but stopped for a moment to say something to her boss,"I...I just wanted everyone to understand, and trust me."

"Trust is earned, Hopps. After all the work you put in, you have earned it. But after finding out about you and Wilde, and hiding it you'll have to earn all again. Especially **Mine**."Bogo said.

After that Judy left the office. She stood outside, for a moment, to process what just happened. She decided to take her phone out and text Shay that she's going home to change, and meet her later at the coffee shop.

"It sucks doesn't it mommy." Came a voice.

When she heard that, she immediately looked around to see where it came from. But saw nothing which lead to her putting a paw on her head when she said, "Ugh this is giving me a headache."

**(Later that Day)**

Judy got back home and changed out of her uniform into something comfortable, a purple t-shirt that matched her eyes along with blue shorts, and was waiting at the cafe for Shay. As she waited, with the a cup of tea for herself and hot chocolate for Shay, she contemplated on the events of the day. Her colleagues hating her, being on suspension for two months, doing parking duty when she gets back and that weird figure calling her mom. Luckily for her these thoughts were halted when the vixen arrived.

"Hey Judy" Shay said, still in her work clothes.

"Hi Shay" Judy said as she got up and hugged her. After a moment they sat down at the table, enjoying their drinks, and Judy started retelling what happened at work but left out the figure that's been appearing. "And that's it."

"Oh Judy, I'm sorry." Shay said.

"Thank you. I just wanted them to understand." Judy said softly, while looking down at her tea.

"Well, you didn't tell them a thing about you and Nick or the other thing you did so, them getting mad would be expected." Shay explained having placed some thought into it.

"I guess." Judy grumbled not wanting to think about Nick or the others right now. After a moment she looked up at Shay and asked her something, "Can I ask you, what you wanted to talk to me about?"

Shay took a moment to draw in a deep breath before starting, "Judy I wanted to talk to you about us."

"Okay." Judy said nervously

"Look, I do care about you a lot, but somethings between us have been a bit rocky." Shay explained softly.

"What do you mean?" Judy asked sounding concerned.

"The visit from your parents didn't go as I would've wanted." Shay said.

Judy was silent for a few moments, as she got mad just thinking of her parents visit, "And how would you want it to go."

"Well, it would've more or less been a short conversation because they've known a bit about me." Shay said, a bit irritated by Judy's tone, "But we already know that you didn't say a word to them about me."

"They still wouldn't be okay with it even if I told them! I mean did you tell your parents about us?" Judy asked.

"Yes I did." Shay said, "And they were surprised when I told them."

After hearing that Judy felt a cold dread creep up on her before asking, "What do you mean surprised?"

"Well, when I told them that I was dating a doe they were shocked." Shay said while frowning a bit, while looking down at her own cup. "And thought that I was going to get back together with my ex."

"Do your parents want you to be with your ex again."Judy nervously asked.

"Yeah, I mean when I was with him they were overjoyed for me and when we broke up, my parents invited me to movies at their place to cheer me up." Shay said with a weak smile.

Judy was silent for a few moments, processing what shes been told. She felt her heart clench a bit before asking, "Well what did they say when you told them you aren't going to see him again?"

"I didn't tell them that." Shay admitted "I actually bumped into my ex before I came here."

"You bumped into him?" Judy asked.

"Yes." Shay responded before pointing to a spot on her shoulder. "Didn't you see the tear stains on my shirt."

Judy looked to where she was pointing and saw a big spot on her shirt, "Dang how did I miss that." she thought.

"And you call yourself a cop, huh mommy." Came a voice

Just like before, when she heard that she looked around her to see where that voice came from but found nothing. This didn't go unnoticed by Shay as she asked with concern in her voice, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I'm fine." Judy said softly.

"Are you sure?" Shay asked.

"**SHANNON I SAID I'M FINE!**" Judy shouted as she glared at her, but calmed down after a moment and mumbled, "Sorry." She felt her ears go droopy after that.

There was an awkward silence between the two of them for a while. Each one either sipping or staring at their drinks trying to think on what to say. It was the doe that broke the silence, with a shaky voice, "So...um...what did your ex want?"

Shay glared at Judy for a moment, because of her outburst before answering calmly, "Let's just say it was like what happened to Nick, but in a softer way."

"How so?" Judy asked.

"Well, he came to me and said "hi" at first. But I saw that pained look on his face, so I pulled him into a hug and patted him on his back." Shay said before putting a paw to her shoulder and smiled. "As I hugged him, he started crying and apologized for how things went between us."

"Wait, you let him cry on you?" Judy asked.

"Yes." Shay admitted, "Its part of our relationship if one of us has any emotions, like him for instance, just let it out. Anyway I told him I was in a hurry so, I promised I'll meet him later for a cup of coffee."

"Are you serious?" Judy asked, as she raised her voice a bit.

"What? It's mostly a conversation it's not a big deal. We're adults aren't we?" Shay asked

Judy rubbed her head for a moment, trying to get the image of Shay and her ex together out of her mind, before she asked "Okay who is this ex of yours? I would like to give him a piece of my mind."

"James. James Wolford." Shay responded.

When the news hit Judy her eyes bulged realizing that the ex was one of her colleagues who hates her guts. "James is your EX, are you SERIOUS?!"

"Yes." Shay responded

"How could you not tell me that?!" Judy asked in complete shock.

"How could you not tell your parents about us?" Shay countered, while crossing her arms.

Judy glared at Shay for a moment, for saying that, but took a few deep breaths to calm down before asking "You know he hates me right?"

"Hey, you were the one that broke Nick like you did. So you shouldn't be surprised when he yelled at you." Shay responded while pointing at her.

"So what your taking his side over mine?!" Judy shouted.

Shay rubbed the sides of her head as she let out a 'sigh'. She then took a deep breath before saying "That's not the point Judy. The point is that you make decisions that drove others away, those that you should care about and that isn't okay. If your not careful, all of this will come back to haunt you."

"Well what do you want me to do about it?" Judy asked rhetorically, crossing her arms.

Shay's expression changed from stoic to annoyed, "How about you just call your parents and apologize for the way you treated them. Then apologize to your co-workers for keeping them in the dark about your secret. Also go to Nick and just talk about the issues you two have. Like I will with James. It will be okay, you can trust me on that right?"

"No it won't!" Judy pointed out, as her voice rose which caused the other customers at the cafe to turn to them. "Cause if you remember, my parents forbade me from the homestead. I also just told you that my so called "co-workers" are turning their backs on me. Also I'm not going anywhere near '**THAT FOX**' again!"

That last sentence caused Shay's jaw to drop and her eyes to widen, as she processed what has just been said, and her mood changed to shock. "Did you really just call Nick 'that fox' Judy?"

"What?" Judy responded calming down

"You just called Nick 'THAT FOX' Judy." Shay said, mimicking Judy's tone

"I-"

"Look, I get it he hurt you. But that doesn't give you the right to just discriminate him like that. I mean, how do you think I felt when you insulted another fox in front of me like that?" Shay asked, pointing to herself.

"Well-"

"You know what, I think I'll just go." Shay said flatly, as she downed the remainder of her hot chocolate and got up. But before she could leave she was stopped by Judy, who got up and ran in front of her.

"Wait wait wait. Shay I'm sorry I-"Judy tried to apologies but was cut off.

"Are you?" Shay asked, not believing her "You just went off on Nick like how other mammals look at us foxes."

"I did and that's not okay, I mean it." Judy said, as she drew in deep breaths while looking down for a moment before looking Shay in the eyes. "Look, I'm sorry for saying that. I just hate Nick, that's all."

"I'll be sure to tell him that when I see him." Shay informed, while crossing her arm.

"Wait what do you mean?" Judy asked nervously

"There was a rumor that he is in hospital right now." Shay explained "So I'm going over there to see him."

"Where did you hear this rumor?" Judy asked, already feeling that she knows the answer.

"I heard it from James." Shay said while shrugging her shoulders.

As soon as she said that Judy clenched her fists and had an angry expression on her face "You heard it from James are you serious. He can't be trusted."

"Do you not see the irony here. You won't trust me when I asked you to say your apologies, but you expect me to trust you to not be around James?" Shay defended

"That's different. They-" Judy stammered an explanation but stopped herself and sighed heavily "Look don't go, it's not even true."

"Is that just cause the rumor comes from James." Shay asked. Her only response from the doe was a nod 'yes' "Then I won't go."

"You won't?" Judy asked sounding surprised

"Yes." Shay replied before adding "If you promise to go to your parents and apologize as well as your colleagues, and go talk to Nick when he leaves the hospital."

After hearing that, Judy crossed her arms and glared at Shay before saying "I'm not going to do any of those things it's ridiculous."

"You make this so easy, you know." Shay said, with venom, as she moved passed the doe to leave. It was a short distance between the two before Judy spoke.

"You know what, James is just a lying jerk who is only going to hurt you more than he did! And you're being a fool to trust him!" Judy shouted at Shay which caused her to turn around and look at her.

Shay glared at Judy for a few seconds, before turning fully to her and started marching to her. She had an angry expression on, and point a finger at her, as she started yelling at Judy. "**DON'T YOU DARE SPEAK LIKE THAT ABOUT MY FLUFFY, RABBIT!**" She stood in front of Judy for a moment, still pointing and glaring at her, before turning around and walking off.

Judy stared at Shay for a moment, with a look of fear. Never before had she seen the vixen so mad. She tried to apologize "Shay wait I'm sorry, Shay!" Her apology fell on deaf ears as the vixen ignored her.

After Shay left, Judy went back to her seat, but the other mammals at the cafe who saw the exchange lingered a little while, giving her disdain looks, before turning back to their own things. While Judy buried her face in her arms. With what the vixen had said to her, she started to doubt and question the decisions she has made up till now.

_"Kind of sucks when mammals aren't on your side, huh Carrots"_ Came a familiar voice.

"Huh?" Judy asked looking up. She looked around for the source but found nothing again. But the voice was so familiar to her that she whispered "Nick?" But when she looked in front of her she saw something that spooked her: It was Nick.

He was standing in front of her, wearing his usual pawaiian shirt and grey shorts, with a pawpsicle in his muzzle while smiling at her. Judy looked at Nick for a moment before rubbing her eyes. When she stopped to say something to him, he was gone. She closed her eyes and put her paws to her face as she mumbled "What is wrong with me?"

**End of Flashback...**

"*sigh* Suffice to say that month was pretty bad for me. I really didn't know why I kept seeing these hallucinations and hear those voices." Judy said, as she took in a few deep breaths before continuing. "Anyway when Shay got back that day, she told me about Nick's condition. Like how he's in a coma or something. I ignored it because I thought it was just a lie. But what really bugged me was that Shay said she is on speaking terms with James, but that scent on her is another story."

Judy placed her pen aside for a moment to rub her face and sighed before she continued, but when she opened her eyes that same figure from before appeared in her room looking at her. But just like last time, when she blinked at it vanished.

"*heavy sigh* When I asked Shay about that scent, she told me that it was none of my business. She even said that she was disappointed that I didn't go with her to pay Nick a visit. She did try to contact me but I didn't respond." Judy said, regretting that decision "We argued for a bit longer, and before I knew it she locked herself in our bedroom. I won't forget that angry look on her face." She paused for a moment as the image of Shay's enraged face went through her mind.

"She stayed in our bedroom, while I had to sleep on the sofa, and only came out when she had to go to work. Every time she did, I tried to apologize and get her to talk to me, but nothing. When I go to the precinct to try to apologize again she's not there. But when she is she's, as I hate to admit, having a pleasant conversation with James. This has been going on for sometime until one night when she-" Judy started but paused as she choked out a sob "When she left."

**Flashback to Five Months Ago...**

It's the middle of the night and there is movement in Judy and Shay's apartment. Shay had just finished packing all of her things into her suitcases, fully dressed, and was headed for the front door when the bunny got up from the sofa in her carrot pajamas.

"Shay?" Judy said drowsily.

The vixen in question didn't say a thing, just let out a sigh. Instead she just tightened her grip on her bags as she turned around.

"What are you doing?"Judy asked, slowly waking up.

"I'm leaving Judy."Shay stated plainly.

"L-Leaving, why?!" Judy asked, sounding shocked.

"I can't do this anymore." Shay started with a straight face. "Because everything you've been doing is not okay."

"I don't understand." Judy said, still being confused.

"Shoving your family out of your life, keeping secrets, lying to your colleagues and the way you addressed foxes." Shay said listing Judy's past decisions.

In that instant when she said all those things, especially of Nick, all of Judy's anger rose to the surface. The only sign of this is that she crossed her arms and had an angry expression on her face while glaring at Shay.

"What are you on about?" Judy said, sounding frustrated

"Judy the way you treated Nick was vile and cruel, when all he wanted was your forgiveness." Shay said "Not to mention, you shoved your own parents out all because you refused to tell them the truth."

"Nick abandoned me when I needed him the most." Judy said "And my parents wouldn't have accepted the truth, even if I told them."

"That doesn't give you the right to treat them the way you did." Shay said, while she put her suitcases on the floor to continue her explanation "Look, about what Nick did to you was wrong, but when I saw him that night he was filled with regret and realized how he truly wronged you."

"Hey I forgave him for that!" Judy shouted.

"You called him a shameful coward! Especially when he was on his knees, in tears, begging to be forgiven and given a second chance. That's not forgiveness!" Shay shouted as she clenched her paw into a fist. "You didn't have any decency to even visit him in the hospital!"

"After everything he did to me you expect me to welcome him back with open arms, and show him kindness because of a sob story or being in a hospital?!" Judy asked, losing her patience.

"I'm not expecting anything from you, not anymore actually. I know that he left you but, **NEWS FLASH** he came back begging you for forgiveness. But after everything he's been through, realizing his faults and admitting them, telling you how he still loves you and what a fool he was, you just gave him nothing but vile anger and bitterness." Shay said as she continued, "The way you treated him was not only wicked but heartless!"

"He just needs to move on, that's all!" Judy shouted. "And my parents don't want anything to do with me again and you know it."

" *nodding head no* To think I was with a cold-hearted mammal, who is willing to break the heart of an already broken man and to push away those she should care about like her own family and friends." Shay said. "I thought you understood the pain others felt after a breakup, like mine. Or the betrayal others felt when you kept secrets."

"I do Shay I DO!" Judy shouted.

"If that were true you won't have treated Nick, and everyone else, the way you did." Shay said, while Judy's jaw dropped, "By the way I saw you. I saw the way you smiled at Nick while he was crying, you smiled like some kind of sadistic creep!"

"I...I" Judy stammered trying to come up with an explanation, and failing.

"Another thing Judy while we are chatting about Nick, I actually had a nice conversation with him today." Shay said causing Judy to look up at her. "And you should really be ashamed of yourself. He is such a good guy." Shay said the last part on purpose, knowing it would get a reaction out of Judy, and it did.

Judy stared at Shay for a few seconds, trying to process what she just said. First she heard that Nick was in the hospital, in a coma. Now she hears that he is out of hospital. But hearing Shay say that about Nick caused her to drop any thought she would have place, and she had on an angry expression as she said "You spoke with him!?"

"I did." Shay replied flatly "And he helped me realize something: You don't really care about me."

Judys expression changed from angry to shock before she said "I do care about you, a lot."

"No you don't." Shay said "Because whenever something comes up, that you caused like your recent actions, you would push your problems on to me, and it's problems that I don't have anything to do with." Shay didn't get a response so she continued, trying her best to stay calm. "Your a grown woman Judy and you should act like one! By that I mean, you should just address your problems and not hide behind someone, in your own little world, and expect it to go away." After a small pause Shay asked "Actually here is a good question. When was the last time we did something I wanted, huh?"

"I...well. Hey, we were happy together y'know. Long before Nick even showed up." Judy said, purposely ignoring Shays question.

Shay was running low on patience now. The sign of it, is that she crossed her arms and had a very annoyed expression on her face. She would have confronted Judy about ignoring her question, but she decided to say. "Well it's a good thing he did."

"What?" Judy said.

"Remember I had a conversation with him today, and it made me realize something else." Shay started "When I saw you push him away, the one mammal that helped you keep your career in the first place, and your parents, who raised and love you, and your colleagues,who trusted you. I asked myself, what was different about me? Why didn't you push me away like everyone else?"

"Ahh... well" Judy said stumbling an explanation.

"I have a good hunch or two on that." Shay said getting Judys attention "It's because you don't want to be alone. But I think that's what you deserve after all the terrible things you've done." Shay then exhaled a breath she didn't know she had before continuing "My only regret is that, if I knew you would do these things I would have stopped you the moment I saw Nick on his knees 'That Night'."

Judy started to shake, and was breathing in short breaths. At first questioning herself, thinking back on what happened not long ago. But she looked at Shay with a glare, realizing that she is siding with everyone else against her. But before she could say something, Shay held up her paw to stop her from saying something so she could continue "Look, I don't doubt your feelings for me and I appreciate it but our relationship was never meant to be."

"But Shay-" Judy started but was cut off.

"No." Shay said while holding up her paw "Listen, the only reason that I was with you is because I was still in pain over James. You however are a monster." When she said that Judy dropped her arms to her sides. "I say this because you were willing to hurt the mammals, that you should care about, and not have remorse about it."

Judy was quiet for a moment before she said "While I should appreciate everything you're telling me, I don't. I also don't appreciate you telling me off like this. Besides it's-"

"The truth." Shay finished the sentence "Your to prideful to admit it."

After Shay said that there was dead silence in the apartment. The only sound heard is that of a doe breathing in breaths trying to calm down. After a moment Shay said, "By the way, the whole "Live a new life" is nonsense if it means throwing away everything that you hold dear in your old life." Shays only response is a small groan from the rabbit, so she said "You really need to grow up Judy. By the way I haven't mentioned the other hunch yet."

"Well what is it?" Judy asked in a cold tone

"Well it's something I know Nick would bring up if you ever met up with him. It's something we discussed." Shay said "The real reason that you were with me is because, unlike Nick, I can't get you pregnant. So you thought you can be in a relationship with me, without repercussions of your actions. I'm not Nicks replacement, your new light or a new chance at love, which is absolute rubbish right now. I'm nothing but a scapegoat to you."

Hearing Shay say that caused Judy to snap, all the anger that she was holding exploded when she shouted "You know what? All of this, is absolutely the stupidest things I have heard! Because you got all this from that **LOW-LIFE** of a fox and just saying it makes you a **DAMN IDIOT **like him." After she that she quickly calmed down, realizing what she said. Judy had a shocked expression on, as she covered her mouth, while Shay gave her a fake smile.

"Well I'm glad that we cleared this up." Shay said while picking up her suitcases and headed for the door. "Oh, and if having a heart and being logical like Nick makes me an idiot. Than I accept it. I won't be seeing you again." Judy then reached out to her and grabbed her by the arm, as she said in a panicked tone "Wait! Please don't leave me! I'm sorry for saying that okay! I can change!"

"I'm sorry but I'm not going to waste my time with someone so vile, cruel and selfish. Or live the rest of my life with a monster." Shay said having her back to her, while removing her arm from Judys grasp. "For the record I would have been okay with us being friends if you gave Nick a chance. Goodbye Judy, I hope I never see you again you witch."

"SHAY!" Judy shouted, but to no avail as she already left. Now all alone in the apartment Judy started crying feeling abandoned all over again.

**End of Flashback...**

Wiping away a few tears that rundown her cheek, she continued to write. "That was a very terrible situation. But if you thought that was bad, a few weeks after that I-." Judy started as she drew in a shaky breath with more tears welling up, "I went to Shay to apologize, but what I saw really broke me, especially what happened after."

**Flashback to Two weeks after Shay left...**

Judy made her to the precinct garage to see Shay, despite being on suspension. Along the way she mentally prepared herself for the confrontation from Shay. But as she stood outside the garage, about to enter, she felt her heart sink.

Shay was busy making out with James.

She then stood with her back against the wall, outside the garage. In that moment a series of emotions flooded her: guilt, pain, anger, isolation and sorrow. To make matters worse the, strange figure that appeared so many times before was stood opposite the street looking at her. But it was a shock.

It was of a fox kit, a tod, about 6-years old. He looked like a younger version of a certain other fox she knew, but had longer ears like those of a bunny, and her amethyst eyes. He had on a grey t-shirt and black shorts. That was all on the right side of him, but to the left was terrifying. There was no fur and his left eye was glowing red.

Just then, like before, when she blinked at him he vanished. She then made her way back home, while her ears have been droopy.

**(LATER THAT DAY)**

When she got back home, she was a wreck. She looked around the apartment and then all the bad memories, that had happened before, came rushing back. Memories of her fight with Nick, her parents, her colleagues and Shay leaving. Their voices ringing in her mind over and over.

_"It would have been better for us if you kept me in the dark about your premeditated sin"_

_"An __**ABORTION! **__Are you kidding me Judith!"_

_"You can forget about stepping foot on the family farm again!"_

_"You don't even deserve to call yourself a cop."_

_"For the record I would have been okay with us being friends if you gave Nick a chance. Goodbye."_

Then she exploded with anger. She grabbed things, like books, sofa cushions, and threw them at the walls. Occasionally shouting at the top of her lungs what jerks everyone was. When she was done the apartment was a mess, she then felt tears streaming down her face. She made her way to the bedroom were she collapsed on the bed crying.

What she didn't realize was that a figure was looking at her at this moment. But this one was different to the one that's been haunting her.

"Judy." A male voice called out.

Almost on instinct Judy jumped up, off the bed, to see who was calling her. Standing at the door to the bedroom was Nick Wilde, her former partner and lover. He was dressed in a green t-shirt and grey khaki pants. He also had on a blank expression.

"Nick?" Judy uttered in disbelief

"Now before you get upset. I'm not really here." Nick said as he held a paw up. "I'm just a hallucination of yours."

"Well then where are you?" Judy asked despite being mad with him.

Before answering the question Nick crossed his arms, "Now why would you care about that? You told me yourself to get out of your life forever. Remember?"

Nick then moved to the door and opened it. What was behind the door shocked Judy. It was a flashback to their last meeting, months ago.

_"I found me a new love, with someone who loves and respects me! With her I gotta a new life to live, to start anew! I deserve to live a new life, Nick! I was BORN TO BE ALIVE!"_

_"Judy please..."_

_"Do yourself a favor and get out of my Life FOREVER. Goodbye Nick."_

Nick then closed the door and turned to Judy, with his arms closed. Judy then felt her ears go droopy, and found it difficult to look at Nick, even if he is an illusion. She even felt fresh tears welling up, as well as hyperventilate a bit, as Nick spoke.

"I'm just going to cut to the chase on whats going on with you. All these flashbacks, the voices in your head, me being here, and of course you-know-who. They're all gonna be around because of the guilt you have." Nick explained, while Judy looked him with shock.

Almost as if on cue the kit appeared. Looking exactly the same as he did at the precinct, only this time he looked normal, with his arms crossed.

"Oh, hey kiddo." Nick said to his son while smiling

"Hi daddy." The kit said softly as he moved towards Nick, who picked him up.

Seeing the kit this way was a shock to Judy. Not once when he appeared did he look like that, just disfigured to his left. But seeing him triggered another voice to go

in her mind. Something Nick said to her about her pregnancy

_"For God Sake, Judy! Give this unborn child the opportunity to do the same! I beg you! Please let your light continue to shine through him or her!"_

"I'll bet you're wondering why he only looks like this now, and not before right?" Nick asked as pointed to his son, before explaining, "Well the reason is this. He's going to be a constant reminder to you, why everything has happened to you. That's when he is by himself. When I appear with him it will be like, you seeing what we could have had right now."

"I...I" Judy stuttered, as tears started falling from her eyes, unable to look at Nick.

"Can we go now daddy?" The Kit asked while looking at Nick.

"Sure kiddo." Nick said, as he turned to leave but was stopped by the bunny."WAIT STOP!" That caused him to turn around and look at her. "How do I get these hallucinations to stop?!"

"You can't." Nick responded "Because, they will always stay with you no matter what." As he pointed at her before, dropping his paw to add "Oh and to answer your question from earlier. I don't know where I am now. I mean I was in a hospital but we don't know which one because you chose not to go remember?"

Nick opened the door again, and another memory was shown. This time it's between Judy and Shay's argument about Nick.

_"I'm not going to do any of those things it's ridiculous."_

_"You make this so easy, you know."_

Nick then closed the door and turned to Judy, who was still hyperventilating. Judy was leaning down, with her paws on her knees, struggling to breath after witnessing that argument. There was a brief moment of silence between the two of them but was broken when Nick spoke looking at his watch.

"Well this is where we part. Ready to go kiddo?" Nick asked turning to his son, who responded "Yes daddy." They both looked at Judy one last time before Nick said, while he and his son waved "See ya Judy." The Kit also added "Bye mommy." as both of them vanished in a blue light.

"Wait Nick come back!" Judy shouted, "Come back." But they were both gone. She stood there for a moment but slumped to the floor on her knees, as the reality set in that she is all alone now. But it triggered a voice to play in her mind: Her own.

_"Do yourself a favor and get out of my Life FOREVER._

_Goodbye Nick."_

"No!" Judy shouted as she leaned forward pressing her paws to the floor.

**End of Flashback...**

After writing that part in her journal she put it aside, along with her pen, and placed both paws on her face as she started to cry. She spent a few moments sobbing, and wiping her eyes, before continuing in her journal "I couldn't sleep at all that night. So I packed up my stuff, and in the morning I moved back here. I thought that by doing that the hallucinations would stop. But they didn't." Judy shuddered a breath as her kit appeared and disappeared again, looking deformed like the first time she saw him, "A few days later, after having had enough of these nightmares, I went to a therapist in the Rainforest District to discuss this 'issue' of mine."

"But that was a challenge on it's own, because a lot of mammals heard about what I did and gave me sick and disgusted looks. It's because of a news headline I saw: _Judith Hopps: First Bunny Officer and Hero of Zootopia aborts second possible fox-rabbit hybrid._ When I saw it the first time. I was surprised that a bunny before me also got pregnant with a fox. But I think she must have went through with it, unlike me." Judy explained sounding a bit sad. "Anyway, when I finally arrived at the therapists office, I had to speak to a Doctor Monroe, a timber wolf, regarding these things. Afterwards he explained to me that these nightmares, voices and hallucinations are caused because of the guilt I have suppressed over my actions, and that I should make amends on them. I thought about it for a while, but I denied it standing by my choice. Doctor Monroe later prescribed me some anti-depressants and arranged several appointments for me. He even suggested that I write these past events in my journal, like a confession. It was supposed to be make me feel a bit better, but all it's done is make me question the choices I've made up until now."

"And he was right." Judy admitted, while exhaling a shaky breath "I spent the next couple weeks after that, coming to terms with it. I realized, only now, that I really did hurt Shay, my parents, my co-workers and especially Nick. I've made up my mind to go to Nick and apologize for the things I said and did to him but also, like Shay suggested, talk to him about my issues."

(AN/ I'm sorry to interrupt your reading but I highly recommend you listen to 'If I could be where you are by Enya' for the remainder of this Chapter.)

"But the problem is I don't know where he is." Judy said, as she exhaled a shaky breath and the tears welled up in her eyes. "I mean I knew about that rumor that he was in hospital, but I didn't know which one. I also remember Shay telling me that he isn't in the hospital, but didn't ask if it's true. So I tried to ask my co-workers but they all refused to tell me anything, especially Chief Bogo who gave me an order not to make contact with Nick. Then I had to call a couple of hospitals in the city, until I found out he was in a hospital in downtown Zootopia. I was relieved at first, but they said he was discharged months ago."

"I even resorted to try and find Finnick, and ask him. But I couldn't find him anywhere. I searched for weeks and found nothing on Finnick. I don't know what to do anymore!" Judy shouted as she tossed the pen and journal to the side of her bed. She then leaned back against her pillow as she began to cry. It didn't help her that the voices from her past arguments, went off again in her mind. "I hate these stupid **Flashbacks**."

"Mommy?" The Kit said, breaking through the voices in Judy's mind

Judy looked to the source to see her son, despite her vision being a bit blurry, pointing at something through the window. She got up to look, only to see clouds in the sky. When she turned to ask her son what he was pointing at, he disappeared. She turned back to look at the sky for a moment, but then Nick's face started to form.

As she looked at the Nick shaped cloud, giving her a warm smile, she swore she heard his voice. Almost like he was standing right behind her.

_"You know you love me, Carrots."_

"Oh Nick, where are you?" Judy asked as the tears streamed down her face.

AN: So what did you guys think? Judy finally feels the guilt from her actions, but where is Nick? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE Review Next time on Risen from the Dead: We get to see what Nick has been up to in these six months, which will be from his POV, and we find out Shays backstory before Judy. But again PLEASE review.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: New Light**

Disclamer:I do not own Zootopia or any of it's characters, they all belong to Disney. Rated T for Dark

**(Nick's POV)**

If you told me six months ago that I would kill myself because of my ex-girlfriend Judy, I would probably laugh at you. But the scar on my face says otherwise.*sigh* The thing is, it wasn't from lack of trying. See after 'That Night' when I went to Judy I was a mess.

**Flashback to Six Months Ago...**

These last few nights were like a bitter pill to swallow. I couldn't get what happened out of my head. The fact that Judy terminated her pregnancy with my child was bad enough, but whats worse is that she doesn't feel bad about it. Even more so is that she is with a vixen now, and that hurts so bad.

Right now I'm just walking aimlessly through a crowd of mammals, not noticing who is in my way. All while Judy's voice rang in my mind.

_"Yes Nick I did."_

_"Oh Nick, Nick I had no idea you foxes were so emotional."_

_"It's to late for us to reconcile, I'm sorry but it's time for you to go."_

By the time I came to a stop I looked at where I am. I can't believe I'm here, the same place Judy came to apologize for what she said at that conference three years ago. How ironic, the same place where she said sorry is the same place I'm going to die.

"Judy I'm so sorry for hurting you, and I hope Shay makes you happy." I said to myself as tears rolled down my face, and I pulled out my revolver.

I meant what I told her that night. That I couldn't live without her. But as I pointed the gun at my face, memories of me and Judy came rushing through my mind. Both the good and bad times.

"Nick?" Came a voice calling me "Nick?"

Wait a minute, I know that voice but it can't be her could it? I walked under the bridge to take a look, but what I saw next creeped me out: It was myself lounging on a long chair sipping soda. Why does this look familiar to me? I think a better a question is: Why am I seeing this?

"Oh Nick. Nighthowlers aren't wolves they're toxic flowers. I think someone is targeting predators on purpose, and making them go savage." Came the same voice, as it's source came into view. It was Judy Hopps

I don't believe it. This was when Judy came and apologized to me years ago. But no this isn't real, just a memory. She doesn't want anything to do with me.

"Wow isn't that interesting." Illusion Nick said as he got up, and walked past me.

"Was I really that cynical?" I asked myself as I raised my gun to my face. I'll ask myself questions like this in the afterlife.

"Wait listen, I know you'll never forgive me and I don't blame you. I wouldn't forgive me either. I was ignorant, irresponsible and small minded." Judy said, while her ears were droopy, to my illusion self whos back was turned to her.

This is hurting me because I'm standing in between them, and I know that Judy poured her heart out as she apologized to me here. This sucks!

"But she-" I started but I stopped myself "NO! This...is not real! She doesn't want anything to do with you anymore Nick! She doesn't!"

"But predators shouldn't suffer because of my mistakes. I have to fix this. But I can't do it without you." Judy said softly.

"I can't live without you Judy. I can't!" I shouted, as the tears rolled down my face "This is **NOT REAL! SHE IS NOT HERE!**"

"And afterwards you can hate me." Judy said as the tears welled up in her eyes "An-..and that will be fine. Because I was a horrible friend, and I hurt you and you can walk away knowing that you were right all along. I really am just a dumb bunny."

The silence here is unbearable. I can actually hear my heart beat going up in my chest. To make things more complicated, the gun is shaking in my paw.

"Oh Judy, I know that things have been tense between us. But...I am so sorry." I choked out as I tried to point the gun at my face, but I'm failing at that.

"I really am just a dumb bunny." Came a small voice

Both me and the illusion Judy looked in the direction of the illusion Nick, since the sound was coming from him. He then held up the carrot pen, that we used to tease Judy with then later busted Bellwether at the museum. Oh those were good times. He played it again before turning around and giving her a warm smile.

"Don't worry Carrots, I'll let you erase it. In forty eight hours." Illusion Nick said, while Judy sighed in relief and smiled.

Man, that smile of hers always warms me up inside, but I haven't seen it in a whole year. This is really tough. The gun is still shaking in paws, but more vigorously.

"Alright get in here." Illusion Nick said as Judy walked slowly towards him, then buried her face in his chest "Okay, oh you bunnies. Your so emotional, there we go deep breaths."

That was the last thing he said, before he and Judy both disappeared into thin air. I breathed in a very shaky breath, as I turned back to the gun pointed at my face. As the memories came rushing back through my mind, It was making this a lot harder.

"I love ya, Slick" Came Judy's sweet voice

**BANG!**

I pulled the trigger, but the bullet didn't go through my head as it should've but instead it grazed the right side of my face. I dropped the gun as I was getting a heart attack and I dropped to the floor on my side, while the blood was pouring out of my cheek.

"Hang in there" Came a voice

I didn't recognize the voice, but when looked up I swear I thought I saw her. "C-..Carrots?" was all I said before darkness consumed me.

I thought that was it, I died then and there but I didn't, or so I thought. Because when I opened my eyes and looked around it looked like I'm outdoors. But the scenery was what caught my attention. I'm standing in the middle of, what appears to be, a wedding but I didn't know whos. But I did hear the voices of my co-workers, my parents, Judy's parents, my little sister Rachel and...no way. My baby brother

I turned to look at him, and it seems that he is officiating the wedding, since he is wearing an impressive tux. When I saw him I had this gut feeling that I should look down. When I did I saw that I'm wearing a grey suit with a light brown vest and white shirt. I had to say I looked really handsome. When I turned to my left, I struggled to breath because of the lump in my throat.

Judy was standing right there beside me. The word gorgeous doesn't describe how she looked here, in that white dress. We locked eyes for a moment and, I don't know if this is a dream or the afterlife but, I feel so happy to be here with her by my side again. But then she looked at something across from her, so I turned to look as well. Now I know this has to be a dream. Because that vixen she's with is here as well. To make this more insane she's also wearing a wedding dress, that's similar to Judy's.

"Wait if they are both here in wedding dresses, and I'm in a suit then that means. Oh crap, I'm marrying them both." I thought as I actually smiled.

I turned back to my brother as he was doing the ceremony. While he was doing that I overheard my mom speaking to someone, but it sounded like a 'thank you'.

_"Thank you so much for all your help Dr. Anderson."_

_"It's my pleasure Mrs. Wilde."_

_"Please, call me Marian."_

_"Okay"_

I didn't pay much attention to their conversation, because I was still trying to wrapping mind around all this. But that was cut short because my brother asked me if I take both Judy and, I think her name is, Shay as my wives. I said 'I do' and then I kissed, can't believe I'm saying this but, my brides. We turned around while everybody stood up and clapped for us, as we made our way down the isle and my wives linked their arms around mine.

At this point I was able to get a look at this 'Dr. Anderson' that my mom was talking to. Turns out the doctor is an arctic doe rabbit, with sapphire eyes. I didn't think much about her, because I closed my eyes, and drew both of my wives close, and thought about how lucky I am to have Judy here. But then Shay whispered something in my ear.

_"I am so sorry for the part I did in all of this."_

When she said that I immediately opened my eyes. My vision was a bit blurry, but I can more or less make out a hospital room. Another thing I saw is that I'm in a bed with those clothes that a patient wears and I'm hooked up to an oxygen mask. My eyes adjusted to this environment so I can see all these things more clearly. But what I saw next made me wish I didn't: Judy was standing in the middle of the room looking exactly the same as she did that night. Wearing her carrot pajamas, droopy ears, her paws clutching her pajama shirt around the chest. But that look on her face, and what she said, scarred me.

_"Yes Nick, I did."_

I wanted to say something. But my throat decided to close up at that moment, and that sent me into a fit of coughing and gasping for air. But each time I did breath in air, it only made the coughing worse. The tears welled up in my eyes because of the coughing, but also because my body was in pain, like I did the ZPA training ten or so times.

_"Oh Nick, Nick I had no idea you foxes were so emotional."_

Judy saying that really didn't help me. But just then, I heard the sound of a door opening and footsteps coming in. I tried to get up to see who it is but it only made the aches in my body worse.

"Nicky hold still." Came a familiar voice.

That was my mom. I did what she told me, because someone was removing the oxygen mask from my face. My eyes were closed while that happened, but afterwards when the mask was off I mouthed 'water' and my mom opened a bottle of ice cold water for me. I was going to sit up again but the other mammal that was here helped me up.

"Take it easy, Nick." Came another voice.

That voice sounded familiar but I didn't know why. When I opened my eyes I saw an opened bottle of water in front of me. I reached out to grab it, but my mom still had a grip on it. She helped me hold the bottle by my mouth so the cold water could hit my sore throat. I drained the bottle dry in a few gulps before I groaned weakly.

"Are you okay?" Marian asked, as she set the bottle down by a counter.

I took a deep breath as I looked at Judy, who was gone now, before looking at my mom and asked. "Where am I?"

"Your in the hospital sweetie." Marian said softly, "You've been in a coma for the past two weeks."

"Two Weeks! Was I really out cold for that look?" I thought, as I looked to my left at that other mammal, Dr. Anderson, who nodded 'yes'.

As I looked between both my mom and Dr. Anderson, I thought about everything that has happened up until now. My one-sided reunion with Judy, the fact that she terminated her pregnancy and moved on, an..and what happened after. I didn't realize it at first but I started having an emotional breakdown. That's when my mom pulled me into an embrace and I started crying into her shoulder. I'm not sure if my mom said anything to the doctor, but she responded "I'll see you in a moment." before leaving.

I cried for a few minutes before I calmed down, but looking at where Judy was standing, I felt more tears welling up.

"I can't, mom. I can't" I choked out into mom's shoulder.

"It will be okay sweetie." Marian said softly.

**(A Few Hours Later)**

Get some rest mom said, easier said than done. Because I can't stop thinking about Judy. Everything that has been said and done that night is still haunts me. But I learned, a while ago that I have a scar on my face where I shot myself. Even now her voice haunts me. Closing my eyes and trying to think of something else doesn't count.

_"Yes Nick I did."_

_"It's to late to reconcile."_

_"Goodbye, Nick"_

"Hey there." Dr. Anderson said softly

I opened my eyes, and saw that Dr. Anderson was holding a tray food. But what caught my attention was that warm smile she gave me.

"You missed lunch, so I brought you something." Dr. Anderson said while she placed the tray in front of me. While I was looking at the food, which was a bowl of oatmeal, a banana and a small bottle of water, I remembered that hospital food can be a bit unappetizing. I was going to say something but the doctor cut me off. "I know what you are thinking and it's not that. This is from Marian, she insisted that I bring you this. Despite bring outside food for patients is going against hospital policy."

I took a second look at the food, and saw that she was right. Because the oatmeal is blueberry flavor my favorite. But the way how she said my mom's name so casually made me look at her with a surprised look as I asked "You know my mom?"

"Of course I do. She is a good friend of mine and my superior."The Doctor replied while she sat down on a chair next to me, "When I first came here a few years ago she helped me settle in, and we helped each other out with patients from time to time."

"That does sound like my mom doc." I said, knowing how caring she can be but also that you don't want to get on her bad side.

"Call me Lara, Nick" Lara said smiling at me. We smiled at each other for a moment before she continued, "You know when I first found out you two were related, I thought that she was your older sister."

"There is a story about that. Do you want to know it?" I asked, with a chuckle, as she nodded 'yes', "My parents were high school sweethearts. The day my Pop proposed to my mom, was the same day she was pregnant with me and they were both 17. They got married a year later, and they've been together since."

"Aww that's so sweet." Lara said while I moved to get the spoon for my oats but she stopped me.

"Here let me." Lara said taking the spoon from me.

"Do you always do this for your patients or aren't there other patients that need you or paperwork that you need to do?" I asked worried that she might get in trouble with her superiors.

"For the feeding it depends on my patients condition. Most of my patients are already taken care of, and my paperwork is done. So seeing as it's 4 PM now, I still have an hour before I leave, so I'm keeping my promise." Lara said as she feed me.

"What promise?" I asked a bit curious, while chewing my oats.

"I promised Marian that I would look after you." Lara replied

"Has anyone told you, you have a big heart?" I asked smiling at her.

"Mostly my patients, your folks and my son." Lara replied while chuckling a bit.

As I was being feed I held up a paw to say something "Sorry, but remember when you said earlier that this goes against hospital policy." she nodded *yes* "Well that's something my boss Chief Bogo does with paperwork. He gives most of it to his Captains and Lieutenants, especially when it's a lot."

"My goodness, Marian and your boss are so much alike. Bending certain rules like that." Lara said as I chuckled a bit. Then after a while she joined me before she went back to feeding me.

After a short while the bowl was empty, and the banana peal is in the bin, when I thought about something that's been told me a few hours ago, "Lara can I ask you something?" She nodded yes, "Was I really in a coma for two weeks?"

"Well let me put it this way." Lara started as she set the spoon down. "If we count today it would be three weeks you were in a coma."

"Three weeks! Are you serious." I asked as I moved a bit but then injured myself a little.

"Easy, easy." Lara said as she gently pushed me back into bed. "Yes you were, and a lot of mammals came to visit you."

"Like who?" I asked sounding surprised

"Well your family, your colleagues from work and the in-laws." Lara replied.

"In-laws?" I asked, feeling a bit confused.

"Judy's parents." Lara replied.

As soon as she said that name a series of questions flooded my mind. How did she know her? How does she know Judy's parents? Does she know what happened between the two of us? How does she feel about the whole thing? I had so many questions, I didn't know which one to ask. But before I could she placed a digit on my muzzle to keep me quiet before she said, "Give me a moment and I'll explain, okay?"

When she said that, she removed her digit from my muzzle and then got on the bed, and sat next to me. We sat in silence for a moment before she turned to me, with a soft expression.

"I think it best that we are honest here. I know you have a lot of questions for me, but I have some questions for you." Lara said while I looked down processing all of this, she placed her paw on mine to get my attention. "Nick I want you to be honest with me, okay?"

"Okay, but I only have a few questions right now." I said before I drew a deep breath. "How did you know Judy? How did you know about Judy's parents? Do you know what happened between the two of us? And how do you feel about the whole thing?"

"Wow you asked me a whole bunch." Lara said before she answered the questions. "I know about Judy because of the Nighthowler case, that you two did. I know about Judy's parents because they visit you almost everyday for the last week. Judy's parents and your parents had meetings here to discuss what happened, and they included me in them. As for how I feel about it, I'm disgusted about it. But that's more directed at Judy than you."

The fact that she was disgusted by Judy was a bit of a surprise to me. I wanted to ask her why but she beat me to it. "I mean my husband is a fox and he got me pregnant, but I didn't jump on the abortion wagen." She stopped for a moment but then looked at me "Sorry."

"It's okay." I reassured her before I continued "Was it a shock when you found out you were pregnant?"

"At first no, but after getting a positive three times on the pregnancy tests then only did it hit me." Lara answered

"I'm sorry, three times?" I asked. in disbelief

"Yes." Lara answered "Look before I worked here I used to work at the hospital in Tundratown."

"What happened."

"One of my co-workers there orchestrated this plan to reveal that I'm pregnant, by having all of us give a urine sample because of a rumor that someone was using drugs." Lara explained sounding a bit angry.

"And yours came back positive."

"Yes. Afterwards that same colleague had to confess because the chief there had to call the police about this prank." Lara said. "As for me I still didn't believe that I was pregnant so I took another test from a convenient store."

"Wait, what happened to your colleague?"

"She got suspended for a few months for doing that prank." Lara chuckled a little

"Why is that funny?" I asked.

"Because it wasn't an actual confession, it was a slip of the tongue as she said." Lara said wiping away a single tear.

Okay that's a bit weird that shes laughing at that, I heard her say quietly with her head turned away from me. "She's so stupid." I'll have to ask her that later. "How did your husband feel about this whole thing? The pregnancy part, because I'm sure he was mad about the prank."

"Well he was mad, since he was part of the reason why my colleague was suspended." Lara explained "As for the pregnancy, he wanted me to go to a doctor because he didn't trust the results from the prank or the convenient store test. But I'm sure you can guess what happened next."

"Your test came back positive and he was very happy about it, but you were concerned about it." I guessed but had a gut feeling I was right.

"You're right." Lara admitted "I mean I was worried about how the baby was going to look, and if there was any complications. But I realized that worrying about it won't change anything."

"So you decided to go through with your pregnancy." I said feeling tears well up a bit.

"Of course I did. I-" Lara said while smiling, but that smile faded when she looked at me. "Oh Nick, I'm so sorry I didn't mean to bring up bad memories for you."

She was right. That Night came to my mind. How Judy verbally smacked in my face that she aborted my child and replaced me with another fox. But the way she looked at me, tells me she doesn't regret any of it. I didn't realize it but I felt myself hyperventilate, and shake a bit, as the tears welled up in my eyes. That's when I felt arms linking around my neck, that I realized that it was Lara hugging me.

"Let it out Nick." Lara whispered into my ear "Just let it out."

That was all it took. Because in a few seconds I started crying. Lara placed my head against her chest, and kept a paw on my cheek where my scar is while the other one was stroking the back of my head. She was comforting me like a kit being comforted by their mothers. I was bawling for a few minutes trying to calm myself down. After a while Lara sat across from me, but kept her paw on my cheek rubbing it as she said, "There you go. It's better to let it out then to keep it bottled up isn't it?"

I was breathing in a few shaky breaths while looking at her. I wanted to say 'thank you' but she started to wipe the tears from my eyes while saying softly, "Why don't we change the subject, so we don't open any more wounds okay?"

"Okay *sniff* just one question." I asked. "Why did you come here?"

Lara was hesitant to answer me but she did. "Well to make a long story short. My colleagues weren't happy that I was having a baby with Michael, my husband, so they said hurtful things and I quit and came here." She closed her eyes and was taking a few breaths to calm down from the anger that I think was building up. "Okay that's enough about that subject."

I decided to agree with her on that, after calming down, since I do want to know something regarding my scar. "Were you there when I held the gun to my face?"

When I asked her that, she looked at me like I said something dumb. "Yes I was, and let me tell you. I tried to stop you, but you won't listen because you were talking to Judy like she was there. I know this because you called me Carrots, that nickname you used for her."

Okay, I was surprised to hear that she knew that nickname. But knowing that she was around my mom, she probably found out. But that just made me think about Judy right now, and it hurts.

_"Oh Nick, Nick I had no idea you foxes were so emotional."_

The minute I heard that I looked to the source and I saw her the same way like earlier, only this time she was smiling at me. That's the same smile she gave me when I was having an emotional breakdown in front of her. I was about have one right now when I felt Lara's paw on my scar turning me to her.

"Hey, hey." Lara said softly, running her gently along my scar. "I didn't mean to make you upset, I just want to know what were you thinking there."

That was an honest question of hers, so I answered it after I saw that Judy disappeared "I was thinking about three years ago, when Judy apologized to me after what happened at the press conference."

"That was a heartwarming moment for you both wasn't it?" Lara asked softly.

"It was. After we solved the Nighthowler case and I graduated from ZPA we spent a lot of time together, both on the job and off-duty." I said while buring my face in my paws as I groaned. But then I felt Lara hugging me again and I hugged her back. We stayed like this for a while.

I decided to talk about something else to avoid anymore wounds getting opened. "You said earlier that my colleagues visited me here. Can you tell me who?"

"Well they were from precinct one. But one of them was very emotional." Lara said

"Who was it?" I asked a bit curious

"It was Officer Wolford."

"Wait, Wolfie was crying over me?" I asked while chuckling a bit. But I saw a confused look on Lara's face so explained. "Wolfie is my nickname for Wolford."

"Yes he was. I mean last week he cried a big stain on your bed sheets. I had to get them changed." Lara said as she broke the hug and looked at her watch. "Oh, sorry Nick but I only have time for just a few questions."

"Okay." I said " Well in that case can I ask you three more questions."

"Sure." Lara said "But can I ask one first."

"What is it?"

"How close are you with Officer Wolford?" Lara asked

I had a funny feeling she was going to ask me that. But since all the good times that I had with Wolfie came to mind, I answered the question with no regrets. "Well me and Wolfie, we're like brothers. Sometimes you will see us pulling pranks on each other, even on the job, we have each others backs. But when when we're not on the job we tend to joke around like buddies."

"Aww. Well now it makes the whole crying on you more sense." Lara said smiling at me.

"Yeah" I said with a smile for a moment. But my smile faded because I wanted to ask something important. "Lara, what I'm about to ask might be a big deal. But when I get discharged, I would like to take you to dinner as a thank you. But I don't think your husband would be okay with it."

"That's very thoughtful of you. But you don't have to worry since my husband isn't around right now." Lara said softly. I wanted to ask but she held up her paw to stop me "He works for the ZIA as a undercover agent and he is presumed deceased by Agent Jack Savage, the one agent he highly respects."

Now I feel guilty for opening a wound for Lara. So I pulled her back into another hug, which she accepted while she smiled for a brief moment before saying "Thank you but I'm fine. I don't believe what the ZIA told me, because I know he is somewhere alive."

After the hug ended I asked her the same question earlier about her patients which she responded "You ask quite big questions Nick. Well like I said it depends on their condition, like if they survived a car accident, suffered a few burns etc."

"Okay, well what is my condition?" I asked

"Yours is that your body is stiff from waking up from your coma, and you are suffering from PTSD flashbacks." Lara said confidently.

That last one caught me off guard. So I had to ask "What would you suggest I do about it?"

"It's not easy to say but. You would need to take some medication for your depression, attend some therapy sessions and move on from Judy." Lara said while getting off the bed "I know that last one will be tough but I will be there for the others if you need it."

I didn't respond right away. Instead I thought about my last question which might make me consider it. "Last question Lara. Has Judy visited me here." She shoke her head 'No'. I couldn't believe it she didn't visit me. I mean I expected it, but it wouldn't kill her to have some sympathy at least.

"Alright Nick that's enough questions for now, time for you to rest." Lara said as she made her way to the door, but stopped because of me. "Lara wait." She turned around and gave me a concerned look. "Thank you for keeping me company I really appreciate it." I said with a small smile.

She came over and gave me a soft expression as she said "Nick, I know you felt like it was the end of the world for you then. But, suicide is not the answer." I looked away feeling bad over my action that day. But also because I thought, right now, she looked at me with disdain about it, but I was wrong. She placed her paw on my cheek, where my scar is, and pulled me towards her where I was met with the same soft expression, and she continued "I know you feel like there is nothing left for you to live for anymore. But, there is always something for you. It will be okay." I took comfort from that before I felt a peck on my cheek as she whispered into my ear "And your welcome." She then left through the door but quickly gave me one last smile. After she left I had a lot to think about. But one thing is for sure, there is one mammal that might have some answers that will help me make up my mind. The vixen Judy is with: Shannon.

After my little conversation with Lara, the next day she helped me get over the stiffness of my body by having me walk around in my room for a while, it was a bit tricky but it went well. Then came the visitors later that day like my family and Judys parents. It was so nice to see the Hopps family again after so long. They explained to me that Judy wasn't welcomed on the homestead again and how she shoved them out the door. They even told me that, despite everything that has happened, they love me like I am their son. That was a big shock for me.

But what was a surprise was that everybody was discussing, what I should do about Judy. My mom said that she doesn't want me to be around her while Bonnie, who was a bit hesitant, also agreed to it. But said that she and Stu will give her a second chance if she apologized and meant it. As well as explain why she did it. But both my parents, and sister, said that it would take more than an apology and an explanation to make up for making them nearly losing a son. I told them about my plan of chatting with that vixen that she is with, and depending on how it goes I'll make up my mind. Everyone said that they will support me in whatever decision I make.

**(ONE WEEK LATER)**

This past week, since the meeting, was a bit of a blur. But thankfully I got to spend some time with Lara which was great. This morning I was discharged, and my parents were thrilled about it. They planned a little lunch this afternoon but I told them that I have other plans. So I dressed in a green t-shirt and grey jeans, and made my way to Precinct one. Just standing here is bringing back both the good and the bad times. I made my way to the garage where Shannon is. I was standing at the entrance and saw that she is working on a car right now.

But just seeing her I thought back to what I did to her that night. I was angry at Judy and she was just trying to protect her, and what did I do. I pushed her so hard into the ground that she injured her shoulder. While I do want to talk to her about Judy, I also want to apologize for what I did.

"Well here goes" I thought as I slowly walked up to her and tapped on her shoulder.

"Ahhh!" Shannon shouted while turning around and looking at me.

"Whoa easy it's just me." I said, with both paws raised, trying to calm her down.

"N-Nick." Shannon said calming down "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in hospital?"

"I was discharged this morning." I said lowering my right paw but placed the left one on my chest to get my heart rate down. "And I came her to see you."

"Me?"

"Yes. But I'll keep it short so that she doesn't yell at me." I said trying not to think about what Judy would do or say to me right now.

"Who, you mean Judy?" Shannon asked "Well you don't have to worry, because she won't be here for a while since she is on suspension."

First Judy is forbidden from the homestead, now I hear that she is on suspension. I don't know what I will hear next. But I had to ask. "What do you mean by suspension?"

"Her secret about you two dating and 'the other thing' got out and everyone is angry with her. Most of the city in fact." Shannon explained before asking me something, with concern in her voice "You said something about seeing me, what is it?"

"Okay." I started, while taking a deep breath "Shannon I am really sorry for pushing you that night. I know you were just trying to protect Judy. But I was just really agitated and angry with her and I unfairly took it out on you. I hope you can forgive me."

Shannon gave me a small smile before she said "Your apology is accepted. But right now it's a waste, and me protecting her then is also a waste."

"What do you mean a waste?" I asked a bit curious

"Let's just say, right now she is sleeping on the sofa while I'm sleeping in the bed. Not to mention, we barely speak to each other." Shannon explained while sighing

"That bad huh?"

"Yeah. It's been like that for the last two weeks. But also because I'm really angry with her."

When she said that last part, I felt a bit uneasy to ask what it was. But I had a feeling of what it could be. "She refused to visit me in the hospital right?" She looked at me with a stunned expression "I know that she didn't visit even once while I was there."

Shannon took a deep breath before she said "You should know it wasn't from lack of trying. Because ever since I found out that you were in a hospital, and after that, she keeps saying that it's just some stupid lie to give you sympathy."

That didn't sound like something that would get her so mad. But I decided not ask further on that subject. "Well where did you hear that I was in the hospital?" I asked trying to get my mind of Judy.

"I heard it from Fluffy." Shannon said but immediately blushed. "I mean Officer Wolford" She said it a bit to forcefully.

"Wait, you call James Fluffy. I call him Wolfie." I said while a smirk grew on my face. "This is interesting. We're both foxes with a different relationship with the same wolf. I mean for me, we're really close we're like brothers. As for you. You were with him at one point."

After I said that there was a small moment of silence between us, as Shannon had a small on her face. But then a realization hit me "Wait." I started as the smirk fell from my face "You dated Wolfie?"

"Yes." Shannon said, sounding sad, while leaning against the car.

"Well. Why are you with Judy then?"

"It's a bit complicated." Shannon responded, while looking at the floor.

"I doubt that." I said as Shannon looked up at me with a blank expression, "I mean my relationship with Judy was complicated. Because I had to tell her parents that we're just co-workers sharing an apartment with our own bedrooms, when it's a one bedroom apartment and we're dating."

"That actually sucks, however mine is a bit similar to yours." Shannon responded, as her mood changed to sullen.

When she said that it made me feel a bit guilty. Because I was about to make her open an old wound "Wait Shannon you don't have to tell me anything."

"No I think you should know, since I do feel a bit responsible for putting you in the hospital." Shannon explained, with a concerned tone.

After she took a deep breath she started, "Yes, I used to date James for a while and I was really happy being with him."

"Wait, if you said you are happy with-" I started but then remembered what she just told me "Oh, the complicated part is coming isn't it?" Shannon nodded 'yes' "I'm going to guess that the parents didn't approve right?"

Shannon was silent for a moment before answering with a sad expression. "It was his parents that didn't approve because I was a fox, while mine were planning our wedding."

"I'm sorry." I said softly. Knowing the feeling of prejudices against foxes.

"Thank you." Shannon responded "Anyway, after his parents rejected me, we argued about it for a while but then he yelled at me. We broke up a few days later after that."

"That must have been so hard."

"It was." Shannon replied "But the thing is, even though we broke up I couldn't get over him. One time I injured my right paw while I was working on a lose bolt in the engine, and I had to go to the precinct's infirmary. That's when I met Judy for the first time."

This is it. The thing I wanted to ask her, I want to know more about her situation with Wolfie but I will ask her soon. "Shannon I'm sorry but I got to ask. Did Judy say why she was there?"

"She said she was getting an abortion, because the fox that got her pregnant raped her." Shannon replied "Why?"

"Raped her, RAPED HER! She told the doctor that gave her the operation that I raped her." I thought angrily.

"Nick, what is it?" Shannon asked breaking me out of my thoughts.

"The fox that got her pregnant is me." I said, pointing at myself while trying to control the rage that's growing inside me.

"That doesn't make sense. She told me about how things were between you two, and when it came to the pregnancy thing she said that you didn't care about her, so she got the abortion out of grief." Shannon explained.

I turned make back to her and walked a few feet while rubbing my head. Trying to process what I've been told is easier said than done.

"I can't believe this. All this time I've been upset about Judy and trying to think about how to make it up to her. But all shes doing is making me look like the bad guy." I thought while rubbing my forehead.

Shannon must have realized the truth about the circumstances, because I heard her gasp. "Nick I'm so sorry. I didn't-"

"No it's fine." I said stopping her from apologizing "I was going to ask you about this, so I should thank you for telling me."

"Well if it means anything right now, I'm ending things with her." Shannon said

When she said that I turned around and looked at her. The look on her face tells me that she is serious, so I asked "Are you serious?"

"Nick, do you remember when Judy told you that we had feelings for each other?" Shannon asked as I nodded 'yes' "That was actually more from her than me. Because I had to keep telling myself that I should move on from James."

"But you couldn't, could you." I said sympathizing with her.

"No." Shannon admitted " *sigh* It's just, the longer we were together the more I missed him until the day he told me you were in the hospital."

"Okay, but what happened before that?" I asked. She didn't answer me immediately, instead she smiled while sighing softly. "What?"

"Sorry." Shannon replied "It's just, I was on my way to meet Judy at a coffee shop when I ran into him, and I was happy to see him."

"What happened?"

"Well, he apologized for yelling at me and like you, he had an emotional breakdown so I hugged him." Shannon said. I was about to ask her why she hugged him but she beat me to it. "I know what you're thinking. Yes I did hug him and no I didn't say or do anything that would hurt him, unlike what Judy did to you."

"Damn now I'm jealous of Wolfie." I thought. Thinking that he is lucky to have her, and that he is an idiot for breaking up with her.

"Anyway I promised to meet him later, and I did. But before that we first visited you in hospital where he cried a big stain on your sheets." Shannon said while smiling a bit.

"I know, my doctor told me the same thing." I said as I smiled as well because of how caring James is on my well being. There was a small moment of silence between us before I asked "So, you two have been hanging out since?"

"Yes we have." Shannon replied "We've talked about things that have happened before, and we've decide to just be friends. But he did kind of scent marked me the same day of our little reunion." She blushed a little, and having a smirk on her face, admitting the last part.

"Is that what you want, to just be friends?" I asked knowing the truth

"No but-" Shannon started but I cut her off.

I held up my paw to her so I can explain "Look Shannon, here is how I see it. You don't have the same feelings that Judy has for you. Because 1)You had to keep telling yourself that being with her is for the best even though it wasn't. 2) Every moment you were with her, it made you miss Wolfie more and more. 3) More importantly, the same day of your reunion with him, you just said that he scent marked you and I'm very sure you didn't tell him otherwise. So tell me, am I wrong that you still love him and want to be with him again?"

Shannon didn't answer me immediately, instead she looked at me like she was mad. But after a few seconds her expression soften before she said "It's true I do love James with all my heart, it's just." She then crossed her arms looking sad "I...I just want to go back to the way things were between us. I always pictured us getting married, travelling to different places, having kids and growing old together." Shannon wiped her eyes from the tears that were welling up and breath in a shaky breath before continuing "The only problem is that his parents won't approve of me as his mate, and I don't know if we can get past this. But also I don't know if he feels the same way." A few tears fell from her face after she said that last part.

"I want that too Shay." Came a soft voice.

We both turned to the source: James Wolford. Wolfie was standing by the entrance, wearing his ZPD Uniform and he had a weak smile on. That means he must have heard the whole conversation. I expected him to go to Shannon first but instead he came to me.

Wolfie gave me a warm smile before saying "It's great to see you again Nick." He then pulled me into a tight hug, which I reciprocated and smiled as I said "It's great to see you too James" We stayed like this for a moment before he broke the hug. The thing is, between us, we made a deal to only use our real names when it is something serious. Like what I did with Judy.

Wolfie then made his way over to Shannon who was blushing and rubbing her arm before he said "Hey Shay."

Shannon didn't look up at Wolfie when she asked sheepishly, while wiping the tears from her face, "You heard everything, right?"

"Yes." Wolfie admitted, while scratching his head "I was on my over here, to take you out to lunch when I heard Blue apologizing to you. Then I listened to everything else."

"Listen James, there was something I've been wanting to tell you since we started-" Shannon started but was cut off by Wolfie.

"I love you too Shay." Wolfie said while smiling. Those three words caused Shannon and myself to look at Wolfie with a stunned expression. But it did cause me ask a big question.

"I'm sorry, but what about your parents? They still don't approve of Shay do they?" I asked feeling bad to ask, but also for saying 'Shay'.

"Well, here is the thing." Wolfie started as he looked at Shay with a sad expression. "When we broke up I cut off all communication with my family."

'You're kidding right?" Shay asked sounding shocked.

"No." Wolfie said flatly "I told them that if they don't accept you as part of the family. Then they don't accept me either."

"That's terrible Wolfie." I said feeling sympathy for him.

"It was, but it didn't stop my mom from setting me up with she-wolves. Even more so because my brother put me on a dating site for wolves." Wolfie said sounding angry "My mom even said that I would be very happy with a wolf than, and I quote, 'some fox'."

After hearing that last part I felt rage built up inside of me. Because this is Zootopia, where anyone could be anything. But why say that when there are those that just insult one another. That's how I felt but Shay, she buried her face in her palms while releasing a groan.

Wolfie pulled her into an embrace while slowly patting her on the back before saying softly "I'm sorry Shay." Shay then returned the hug.

Seeing this exchange and how Shay felt I approach them and placed my paw on Shay's back as I said "I know how you feel Shay. Because I had to deal with that stereotype my whole life."

"Thank you. Thank you both." Shay said softly. I couldn't see her face but I had a feeling that she was shedding a tear.

There was a brief moment of silence between the three of us, but I broke it when I looked up at Wolfie and asked "When did this happen?"

"About a month after we broke up." Wolfie replied

"What did you do when you found out?" Shay asked looking up at Wolfie.

"I barged into my parents home, during a traditional family get-together and started yelling at them for all of this." Wolfie explained "I held my brother against the wall and threaten to hurt him if he didn't delete that dating account he created for me. He said I was bluffing, so I broke his nose."

Both me and Shay were in complete shock at this event. Because Wolfie is a very caring mammal and the last one to even do something aggressive like this. He ties with Judy on that. I was going to ask him what happened after that but he beat me to it "Afterwards I turned to my parents and started yelling at them, I told them I never wanted to see or hear from them again since they rejected you Shay." He said looking at her "When I stormed out I heard my mother crying."

"Oh James." Shay said softly as she hugged him tightly

"So you've been by yourself since huh?" I asked

"Yes." Wolfie admitted "I tried one time at dating but I couldn't go through with it."

"Who was it?" Shay asked looking at Wolfie

"Why couldn't you go through with it?" I mentally berated myself for asking a stupid question.

"It was Nadine Fangmeyer." Wolfie answered before looking down "And I couldn't go through with it because I still loved Shay."

Wolfie then broke his hug with Shay and moved a short distance from us. I could tell that he was still emotionally hurt after all these events. I was going to ask what was wrong before he said "I'll be honest. Before I dated Nadine I was going to come to you to apologize Shay. But then I...I saw you were with Judy." Wolfie started to have an emotional breakdown and fell to his knees.

This is hurting me to see him like this, because I was in the same position like him not long ago. Shay went to him and placed his head on her chest and placed a paw on his check while the other one was stoking the fur on his head, and said "James I'm sorry you had to go through that." Wolfie then wrapped his arms around Shays waist as she continued "You have to know that I'm not interested in females at all. I never was or anyone for that matter, and you are the only mammal I'll ever want in my life."

"Really?" Wolfie asked shakily, as he gave her a warm smile and tears in his eyes.

"Really. You're the love of my life and I don't want to lose you again." Shay replied while wiping the tears in his eyes away and smiled at him, then they shared another hug. There was another moment of silence in the garage and the only sound heard was Wolfie sniffing as he was calming down.

After a few seconds they broke the hug and Wolfie looked at her with a soft expression before he said "Shay, there is something I've been wanting to ask you for a long time now." Wolfie then got down on one knee, holding her paw in both of his. Shay on the other paw had on a stunned expression and had her paw to her muzzle as Wolfie started.

"I'm sorry. I am SO sorry that I hurt you. I'm sorry that I gave up on you, on us. I was really hurt because my whole family refused to look past these stupid prejudices and hurt you in the process. When I saw you with Judy I should've came to you sooner, but I assumed the worst. That you didn't want anything to do with me again." Wolfie started apologizing as his ears flattened against his skull "I probably don't deserve your forgiveness for what I've said to you before but-." A single tear ran down his face as he continued "Shannon O'Shea will you please give me another chance?" Shay was drawing in shaky breaths during Wolfie's whole apology and plea to her for another chance.

"James, I...I forgive you." Shay choked out as tears started streaming down her face, which I believe are happy tears.

Wolfie looked up at her with a look of disbelief when he asked. "Really?"

"I do... because I love you." Shay said with a warm smile and tears streaming down her face as she continued. "My Fluffy."

"My Shay." Wolfie said while getting up again. He pulled her into a tight hug and kissed her passionately on her muzzle.

I'll admit, seeing Wolfie at the moment made me feel two things: jealousy and happiness. I was jealous because I asked Judy for a second chance and she literally slammed the door in my face. He did the same thing and now he got his second chance. But I think the happiness I felt outweighed the jealousy. Because fate gives us a rare chance like this, some might get it some don't, so I'm happy for my friend. But this sweet moment was ruined by Judy's sudden appearance, just like what happened at the hospital with her appearing and disappearing after she said.

_"I don't need your forgiveness"_

As much as I am mad at her right now, it made me think of something now. I called for their attention, which I felt bad about, when I said "I'm sorry guys." They broke their kiss to look at me as I continued "Sorry but, what about your parent's Wolfie and Judy."

"Well" They both said at the same time, then looked at one another in surprise. After a moment with them smiling at each other Wolfie said "You go first."

Shay broke the hug with Wolfie, still keeping eye contact with him and a warm smile, before turning to me and said "Well, like I said I'm ending things with her. Because when I reunited with my Fluffy, who scent marked me." She made a sly stare at Wolfie who blushed before she continued "I've been moving my things into his apartment bit-by-bit and Judy hasn't noticed, and I'm moving into Fluffys apartment tonight."

"Judy has excellent investigation skills, so that doesn't make how she didn't notice." I said knowing she would notice when something is out of place.

"Well she did know about the scent on me, but other then that she hasn't." Shay explained "I think it's because she's been hearing voices or something. But I honestly don't care anymore." After she said that part of me wanted to know why. But I chose not to ask.

"Okay but, what about you Wolfie?" I asked, turning to Wolfie, concerned for him. "What are you going to do if your parents find out about this?"

"Nothing." Wolfie said, both me and Shay looked at him shocked. We were going to ask why but he beat us to it. "Let me explain. My parents came to my apartment last week, and they apologized for what they said to me and Shay." Shay had on a look of surprise as Wolfie continued and looked at her "They even invited you for dinner tomorrow night as a proper welcome to the family." Wolfie didn't look excited when he said that.

"Well that's great and all, but what's wrong?" I asked noticing his expression.

"It's just that, although they apologized for it. I told them it's still a long way before I fully forgive them." Wolfie replied while looking at Shay and smiling "But this is a good start to it." Wolfie pulled Shay into a hug as they both mumbled to each other "I love you"

There was silence in the garage again but it was a peaceful one, this could have been perfect if it wasn't for my stomach rumbling. They both looked at me and I blushed a little from the eye contact. Wolfie smirked at me as he asked "You hungry, Blue."

"Yeah." I admitted "I haven't eaten anything since I was discharged, and that was 8 am."

"You did say you were going to take me out to lunch." Shay said looking at Wolfie before she suggests "So why don't we all go together?"

"That's a good idea." Wolfie agreed while smiling

"That is very generous of you Shay, thank you." I said as a smile grew on my face.

Shay made her way over to me and did something I wasn't expecting: She hugged me. As I was receiving the hug I saw Wolfie smirking at me for some reason. I was about to reciprocate the hug but she broke it and said to me "I figured you would need some company after what I told you."

"Thank you." I said agreeing with her.

"Alright, ready to go." Wolfie said, as me and Shay nodded 'yes'. But just as Shay made her way to the entrance I saw a sly grin on Wolfie's face, and he moved behind Shay.

"AAhhh!" Shay screamed as Wolfie picked her up and carried her in a bridal style. "James you sneaky!...Put me down!" Shay laughed

"Sorry Shay, but I can't." Wolfie said confidently. "I'm supposed to take this breathtaking vixen to lunch and then much later, when it's just the two of us, I will show you how much I've missed you and love you." Shay giggled at the last part.

"You guys do know that I'm still here, right?" I asked reminding them to which they apologized for.

I have to admit I'm really happy for them. Fate gives us rare second chances, and I can already tell that these two will take it and not ruin their love again. But as we were on our way to lunch, I thought about everything Shay told me that Judy said I was.

_"She said she was getting an abortion, because the fox that got her pregnant raped her."_

_"She said that you didn't care about her, so she got the abortion out of grief."_

"If Judy is going to see me as nothing more than a rapist and an uncaring fox than so be it." I thought having made up my mind about what I would do.

**End of Flashback...**

And that's about it for me. That same day I called Judy's parents and mine, and I told them everything Shay told me. I also mention that I'm done with Judy. To say they were angry and disappointed was an understatement, especially from the Hoppses. A few days later I moved into this nice house I'm currently in now, located in Downtown Zootopia in a very good neighborhood, and I've been in the company of good friends ever since like Finnick, Wolfie and Shay. As for Lara well...

"Nick! Are you done in the bathroom yet, your breakfast is getting cold!" Lara Shouted.

"I'll be right there Lara!" I replied.

Yes we're together. It happened a few weeks after I got the house. The thing is when I took her to dinner like I promised, she explained to me about her spending a lot of her time with me in the hospital; I remind her a lot of her husband. That feeling was mutual because she reminds me of Judy. At least the Judy that I know and love with all my heart. But with Michael out there somewhere, she told me that our relationship would have to end eventually. It did hurt me a little, but I understood why: She still loved Michael and would never re-marry again. So we agreed to just enjoy our time together while it lasts and when he shows up, we end the relationship and remain friends. I don't mind that one bit.

I exited the bathroom and made my way over to the kitchen and I looked at my, sort of, family of Lara and our three kits, with a big smile on my face. The kits were sat at the table enjoying their breakfast of oatmeal.

Michael Thomas Anderson Junior, named after his father, is 3 years old and is wearing a blue onesie and when you look at him he looks like a regular arctic fox but his ear tips, paws, feet and tail tip were black. He also has the same eyes as his dad, which are brown. When we first met in the hospital he was nervous, but I'm glad he's okay around me now.

Sitting to his right is my adopted daughter Skye Amelia Wilde, was Winter before. She is a 3 year old arctic fox and is in pink pajamas. Also sitting next to her is her older brother Joseph "Josh" Ethan Wilde, a 6 year old red fox, wearing similar blue pajamas like Mike. They both have a tragic backstory that I don't want to think about right now. But I do know that I promise to take care of them for as long as I live.

And lastly sitting across from the kits is Lara Elizabeth Anderson. The bunny that saved me from my coma, gave me a new chance at life. As well as helping me heal from my emotional wounds that Judy caused me. I was staring at her for a moment as she turned to me with a concerned expression and asked "Nick are you okay?"

I didn't answer immediately, instead I went down on my knees and placed my head in her lap as I mumbled "I love you Lara, my **New Light**. Thank you for giving me a new chance at life." She snorted and gave me a peck on my forehead as she said "You dorky fox."

We stayed like this for a while, but then I heard Josh say to MJ and Skye "Grown ups are so weird." Me and Lara chuckled a bit at that.

AN: DUN DUN DUN!(Sorry I had to to that.) Nick has moved on from Judy, and is with a new bunny and three kits now. Fate has given Wolford a second chance with Shay. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE Review. Next time on Risen from the Dead: Bazinga no spoilers, except it will be from Judy's POV. But again PLEASE Review. Also if you like the story. please consider supporting me with a ko-fi here: /spectra98


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Hope**

Disclamer:I do not own Zootopia or any of it's characters, they all belong to Disney. Rated T for Dark

**(Judy's POV)**

Another day of parking duty has passed and it sucks. It's not just the parking duty itself it's that I'm back to square one like I just started here years ago. Ever since my suspension ended months ago, I've been going back and forth between parking duty and desk work, and that's because I've lost Bogos trust and I've been trying to earn it back. Moreover some of precinct ones best officers have re-located to other precincts in Zootopia. Also none of the remaining officers wants to be partnered with me after my secret came out. In fact everywhere I go, both during work and off duty, mammals give me nothing but disdain looks. Even the mammals that I've inspired and fought for are against me now.

Months ago I would have said that it was all Nicks fault and hope he pays for it, but that's wrong. I mean I do feel some anger towards him, but after speaking to my therapist and writing in my journal I feel really bad for everything that I've done. But these sessions aren't really helping me because the more I go the more my nightmares and hallucinations get worse. I still see my son that I aborted, and the voices from all my past arguments still play in my head:

_"An __**Abortion**__ are you kidding me Judith!"_

_"You can forget about stepping on the family farm again!"_

_"You don't deserve to call yourself a cop."_

_"For the record I would have been okay with us being friends if you gave Nick a chance. Goodbye."_

_"I think it would be best for us if you kept your premeditated sin to yourself."_

"Oh... Mom, dad, Shay, Nick everyone I am so sorry. I really am." I thought as I wiped a tear from my eyes. "My only regret is that it took me so long to realize it."

I'm in the girls locker room now, changing out of my Parking Enforcer uniform, and I see my son to my left looking the same way I saw him the first time. What Nick said about it came to my mind:

_"He's going to be a constant reminder to you, why everything has happened to you."_

When I saw him I was going to say something to him, but then I overheard a conversation between two of my colleagues, also my former friends, Nadine and Francine. I moved closer to them, to the edge of a locker to hear what they are saying. I peaked around the corner and saw Francine wearing a pink shirt and coveralls. While Nadine was wearing a grey shirt and camo shorts. I shuttered a bit because the conversation was about me.

"Can you believe that she is still here?" Nadine asked in a harsh tone.

"No." Francine replied "She should just pack up her stuff and go back to BunnyBurrow."

"I don't think she can, because I heard a rumor that shes banned from her family's home." Nadine said "But I wouldn't be surprised if the whole of BunnyBurrow shunned her."

After she said that I leaned back against the locker so I could process what I've just heard. The whole of BunnyBurrow shunning me, that's a nightmare. It was bad when I rejected my parents, but all my friends aren't going to have anything to do with me again. Then there was this hybrid riot that I caused months ago.

"I didn't want this to happen." I thought as I felt tears well up.

"Well you should have thought about that before you did your premeditated sin Judy." Came a familiar voice.

I recognized that voice, belonging to Nick. I looked to my right and saw him and my son, looking normal, standing there with crossed arms. I was about to say something to them when Nadine said something. So I moved back to the edge of the locker to listen.

"But honestly, the more I think about it. The more I feel bad for foxes." Nadine said sounding a bit sad.

"Really?" Francine asked

"Yeah." Nadine replied "I mean how many cases have you had over the years where a fox came to you for something and you didn't do anything about it?"

"You mean like, a parent asking for help because they lost their child?" Francine asked, which Nadine nodded 'yes' "About six, you?"

"Three." Nadine answered. "And now this thing with Judy and how it affected others makes me feel both angry and guilty."

After a small moment of silence, in the locker, I heard Francine ask "Wasn't there a riot a few months ago? What happened?"

"Well Nick was doing public talks about abortion. As well as doing talks about planning, using protection, and understanding one anothers feelings. He didn't want others to do the same mistake that he did with Judy. Also he did it with help from James and Shannon. So because of that most of the city has gone back to normal, slowly but it's getting there." Nadine explained. "But also several mammals opinions about foxes have changed for the better."

"Wait, what do you mean by most?" Francine asked sounding confused.

"Well when I say 'most' I mean a lot of mammals in Zootopia still hate Judy." Nadine explained "Because everyone, and this comes from all the interspecies couples and the interspecies families not to mention other bunnies, believes that she hates hybrids, and is a traitor to all bunnies. So because of her actions there was the potential that these inter families, and their kids, would have received a lot of backlash."

"I actually read something like that in an article, **Judy Hopps: the Freaky Fox Lover.** "She had relations with a tod, got pregnant and aborted the kit and blamed the tod for it. Then jumped in bed with a vixen and attacked the tod, when he just apologized. Also she discriminated against foxes out loud in a public area. But the worst part is that she isn't remorseful of her actions." Francine said.

I clenched at that last part. Because it's all true and it breaks my heart that I did all that. It didn't help that my son appeared again, this time right in front of me looking deformed. I was about to say something to him when Francine asked. "While we are talking about James. How are you doing?"

"What do you mean?" Nadine asked.

"You know, you two being together for a time then-" Francine started an explanation as she was cut off.

"Oh come on! Not this again." Nadine shouted with a chuckle "Look, yes we were together for a moment, but it ended. So I'm fine and we're still friends."

"Are you sure?" Francine asked softly

"Yes." Nadine replied "Although I'll admit, it was really weird. I mean he is my friend. But the whole time I was with him, it just didn't sit right with me y'know." Nadine sighed before she said "Anyway I was going to end things but he beat me to it when he said that he still loved Shannon."

"Well that does end that ship that Ben has for you two." Francine said

"You mean WolfEyer." Nadine chuckled "Yeah, but he kind of shot himself in the foot on that because he didn't know that James was in love with Shannon." She said sounding a bit upset.

"What's wrong?" Francine asked

"*sigh* Nothing, it's just something Nick said." Nadine said

"What did he say?" Francine asked

"He said that, because I was with James, I should have a threesome with him and Shannon." Nadine said sounding annoyed.

"He said that?" Francine asked sounding surprised

"Yeah. But I got back at him by saying the same thing to him." Nadine replied.

After a short moment Francine started to laugh and she was joined by Nadine. They laughed for a moment before calming down as Francine asked "And how did he respond?"

"Like he usually does, like" Nadine started then mimicked Nick "Me and Wolfie are just good pals, there is nothing funny going on." Then they both giggled again.

I would have chuckled with them, but I had to keep it down otherwise they would know that I was listening the whole time. A short while later the giggling in the locker died down.

"Hey, have you seen Nick?" Francine asked "I still need to apologize to him for siding with Hopps over him."

I clenched at that. Not because Francine stopped referring to me by name, but also because she asked where Nick could be. I've looked everywhere with no luck so hopefully Nadine could share something.

"I have, and you could apologize to him at the party that James is throwing for him later this week." Nadine answered.

"No, I want to apologize to him before that." Francine said.

"Oh, well in that case he's working at the Precinct in Tundratown." Nadine said.

"Nick is in Tundratown!" I shouted as I came out of hiding, and face-to-face with them. They both crossed their arms and gave me disgusted looks, despite my plea "Is he in Tundratown?"

"Even if he is what is it to you Hopps?" Francine asked in a harsh tone.

"Please. I just want to know if Nick is there." I said to Francine softly.

"So you can ruin his life further. Not a chance Hopps." Francine said still in a harsh tone.

I turned to Nadine and ask her softly. "Please Nadine-" I started but was cut off.

"Don't you Nadine me Hopps!" Nadine shouted but then calmed down "You know what, yes Nick is in Tundratown. Not that it will do you any good."

"But-" I stammered but was cut off again.

"You know what I think, there should be a petition to get you fired Hopps." Francine said

"My thoughts exactly. The Police force would be much better without you Meter Maid." Nadine said while she and Francine left the locker leaving me alone in here.

"This just like my first day, when everyone thought less of me. But way worse." I thought "But now I know where Nick is so I need to go see him."

I quickly changed out of my uniform into a black sweatpants and a blue t-shirt then made my way to the door. As soon as I came out of the door I bumped into someone and fell on my back. After a moment I sat up and rubbed my head and looked up to see who it was: James.

"Oh, James...I mean Wolford I'm sorry I didn't mean to-" I was apologizing, as I got up and dusted myself, but then he cut me off.

"Don't even think about it." Wolford said in a harsh tone, just like Nadine and Francine.

"W-What I don't-" I stammered while looking at him surprised.

"Don't play dumb with me rabbit." Wolford said still in a harsh tone while pointing a finger at me. "I know what you're going to do, so don't."

After he said that my eyes went wide and I looked to my right to see Nadine looking this way. She broke eye contact with me and left. I realized that she must have told him that I asked for Nick. I looked back to him and was met with an aggressive glare that made me want to curl up in fear. So I tried to explain my reason for seeing Nick by saying "Listen Wolford, I just want to talk to Nick. That's all."

"I'll make this very clear." Wolford said as he came close to me and backed me up against the door. "Stay away from Nick or else got it." He glared at me for a moment, and I could see him baring his fangs, but then he left for the front door.

As he was walking away from me, I could see Shay standing by the door waiting for him and we made eye contact. But just seeing her was painfully. Because of how I hurt her and pushed most of my problems onto her. I can still remember that enraged look on her face when I insulted James like I did. I mouthed "I'm sorry" to her, but she gave me an angry expression.

When James was close to her she looked at him with a warm smile then kissed him. I still felt hurt because she technically cheated on me, but I understood why: She still loved him, and he still loved her. When their kiss ended they linked arms and walked out.

"I'm happy for them and so should you Carrots." Nick said

I looked to him and he had a smile on while looking at James and Shay. He turned to me, still with that smile but before I could say a thing to him he vanished. I felt sad about it but then I remember what I just heard a couple minutes ago.

"You're at the Tundratown Precinct so I'll see you there, I hope." I thought

**(The Next Day)**

I called into work to take one of my vacation days, that I have worked up, so I could go to Tundratown. When I called Ben about that, not telling him why, he said he would let the Chief know. But he said I shouldn't come back which hurt. Anyway I dress in something presentable, like a pair of navy blue jeans and red shirt, I also had on a pink sweater than Marian made for my birthday one time. I got out of storage where I place all of Nick's other stuff that he forgot, or stuff I got from him, when he left. I took the subway train there, despite the disdain looks I still get from other mammals, and when I got off I started walking to it. I could have taken a cab, but I chose not to because I wanted to think about what I want to say to Nick and also the various scenarios our meeting after six months, and giving him the shove off, could go. When I checked the time on my phone it was 12:00 am so I figured I might catch him before he goes on his lunch break, maybe. But I couldn't help but get a feeling of dread over how this will go. I was probably half an hour away when my son appeared again to my right.

"So what are you go to say to daddy, mommy?" My kit asked casually.

"I don't know." I replied softly while looking at the ground as I'm walking.

"Oh I'm sure you do." My Kit said sarcastically "You would tell daddy to turn in his badge because he isn't fit to wear it."

I stopped dead in my tracks, shocked to hear that. I turned around to face him, despite him being deformed again, and said "I wouldn't say that."

"Yes you would, don't lie mommy." My Kit said shaking his head *no*, while crossing his arms. "It's one of the things you were thinking about."

"Don't you back talk me young man." I said as I pointed at him in a motherly tone. But then I realized he wasn't here.

My kit unfolded his arms and reached into his pocket for something. He pulled out my carrot pen and said "Tell me if this sounds familiar, mom." He pressed play and what played still haunts me.

"Do yourself a favor and stay out of my life Forever! Goodbye Nick."

When the recording ended he put the pen back in his pocket and gave me a pained expression as he asked in a shaky breath "Well, is it?"

"I...uh...um-" I stammered as tears welled up in my eyes.

"You told daddy to stay away from you, so why would you go to him now?" My kit asked in an angry tone. But I could see him fighting back some tears, even though he is an illusion.

"I miss him okay! I just-" I said a bit quickly. I was going to explain but he cut me off.

"Liar!" My kit shouted as tears started streaming down his face. "You told daddy that you never wanted to see him again, and before that you aborted me just to up hold your reputation and keep your career." He bawled for a bit after saying that last part.

I got down on my knees close to him. I tried to pull him close but I couldn't since he is a hallucination and my arms went through him. Despite that I said to him softly "I'm sorry okay, I truly am. I was just scared and I panicked when I found out about you."

My apology fell on deaf ears, because he backed away from me and wiped his eyes from the tears and he shouted "**STOP LYING MOMMY!**" He breathed in a few deep breaths to calm down before saying, in a cold tone "Don't bother going to daddy because I can tell you how it will go right now. Everything that you said and did to daddy that night, he will do the same thing only much worse." After saying that he disappeared in a blue light.

"Wait!" I shouted but I was too late because he was gone. When I looked up I saw a lot of mammals looking at me, with both the disdain looks and confused looks. I got up and apologized for my little outburst then continued my way to the Tundratown Precinct. But as I was walking I heard some of the things they said like:

"Isn't that Judy the freaky fox lover?"

"She needs a therapist after screaming at nothing."

"Do you think she is crazy?"

It felt like I walked longer than I should have, but I made it to the precinct. I slowly made my way inside because of the nostalgia, like I it was my first day at ZPD. As I made my way over to the front desk, I took in all the details of this precinct. It looks similar to precinct 1, which fills me with both joy and sadness.

I arrived at the front desk and the mammal there, who is a lion, was bend down probably picking something up of the ground. But something about him seemed familiar.

"Excuse me." I said to get his attention.

"Just a minute." He said calmly.

"Oh no I know who he is." I thought realizing that it's Officer Delgato.

I was about to turn and leave when he got up and said "Can I help-? Judy?!"

"Hi Adam." I said softly and giving him a weak smile.

"What the Hell are you doing here?" Adam said in a harsh tone.

"I'm here to see Nick. I know that he is here." I said a bit to forcefully than I meant.

"So you can blame him for something you did. Sorry not going to happen Hopps." Adam said.

I clenched again, because another of my colleagues calls me "Hopps" instead of Judy. I pleaded with him when I said "Adam please."

"It's Officer Delgato to you rabbit!" Adam shouted as he pointed at me. He took a deep breath to calm down, and he crossed his arms, before he said "I think it best to just leave now. He's not going to be happy to see you y'know."

After he said that I lowered my head and closed my eyes, trying to fight back the tears welling up in them. But then an image of Nick's face in pain came to mind, and I heard Shays voice, about that, play in my mind:

_"By the way I saw you. I saw the way you smiled at Nick while he was crying, you smiled like some kind of sadistic creep!"_

"Well speak of the devil." Adam said

I looked up at him and followed his gaze to my right then I saw him coming from a hallway, my former partner and lover Nick Wilde. He was wearing his police uniform, which hugged him in all the right ways. He had his phone to his ear talking to someone.

He looked relaxed and by the smile on his face, he seemed happy with the mammal he was chatting with on the phone. I couldn't make out what he was talking about, but that conversation came to an end, as well as the smile on his face, when he saw me. I heard him say "I'll call you back Jack." Then he ended the call and placed his phone into his pocket, and slowly made his way towards me.

But as I saw him coming close to me, I felt both happy and angry to see him. Mostly because I did miss him a lot, I still feel angry with him for leaving me. But part of that anger vanished when I saw a scar on his face. That filled me with a bit of dread.

When he stood in front of me, he gave me an expression that I couldn't figure out when he said "Judy?"

In that moment a couple of questions that I wanted to ask, like "How did you get back on the force?", "How did you get that scar?" or "Did you get back on the force, just to make me like you again?" came to mind. But instead I sheepishly said "Hi Nick."

AN: {DUN DUN DUN! After six months apart Nick and Judy finally come face-to-face. But can they resolve their issues and come together again? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE Review. Next time on Risen from the Dead: Nick and Judy have a heated conversation. But then the arrival of 4 mammals could make things complicated. Which could either be Good or Bad. But again PLEASE review.}


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: Born to be Alive (Redacted)**

Disclamer:I do not own Zootopia or any of it's characters, they all belong to Disney. Rated T for Dark

"Judy?" Nick said with a look of disbelief that the bunny he thought he would never see again was standing in front of him.

"Hi Nick." Judy said softly.

Adam stood still, leaning against the counter, silently looking back and forth between his colleague, and friend, and former colleague. Adam had a good guess on how this interaction would go so he excused himself by saying "*ahem*" Both fox and rabbit turning to face him "If you'll both excuse me I have some filling to do."

As Adam left, Nick went back to looking at Judy. He was speechless he had thought about going to Judy at a later time. He contemplated about what to say to her if either she turned up for some reason or he found her knocking on his front door, if it ever happened. But now that she is here, he doesn't know where to begin.

While Nick's mind was racing, Judy looked at Nick, with a small smile, that creeped up on her face, for a second but dropped it, and found herself feeling a bit anxious. She couldn't say why, but something about Nick seemed different to her. It's not that there is a scar on his face, it was more than that. But to see him here filled her with both joy and resentment.

However the joy overpowered the resentment she had and the smile came back slowly as she said. "Nick, I missed you so much."

Nick remained calm but replied coldly and in a professional tone, ignoring her previous statement "Officer Hopps, it's nice to see you. Is there a case that Precinct One needs our help with?"

Judy was taken back by Nick's statement. She stood there, having dropped her smile again, for a second before it dawn her that this is something that she did expect to happen. But, it still hurts that it's happening. However realizing this, she saw through that it's an act but replied, while looking down in disappointment, in a reserved voice. "No, nothing like that."

"Well, if that's the case. I have some paperwork I need to take care before lunch." Nick lied still in a cold tone. "Excuse me." He turned to leave but only got a small distance from Judy before she called him, in a shaky voice.

"Wait, PLEASE just wait Nick!" Judy panicked. Nick stopped dead in his tracks, with his back to her, as she continued. "I didn't come here to talk about a case or anything like that. I came here to see you."

After Judy said that, she looked down in defeat while breathing in short breaths trying to calm down and her ears are droopy. She could probably tell that he was going to tell her to just leave. But then Nick spoke, with venom, breaking the silence that was present for a while. "What is it Judy?"

Just hearing him say her name filled her with some hope. But when she looked up she still had the feeling of dread because Nick still had his back to her, and crossed his arms. Judy cleared her throat before she asked "How did you get your scar?"

"That's none of your business." Nick replied.

"Okay, then how did you get back on the force after you resigned?" Judy asked "What did say so they let you be an officer again?"

"That is also none of your business." Nick replied in a firm tone "And I'm not an officer, I'm a lieutenant now."

"What?" Judy said

Nick turned around, dropping his arms to his sides, and fixed Judy with a blank expression as he said "I am Lieutenant Nicholas P. Wilde head of the narcotics department and leader a squad of 4 mammals, and Adam is a member of my team." He pointed to the lion that was in the background behind him.

Judy was very stunned by this. She had worked very hard to reach her position of lieutenant but after her secret came out, and how she responded to it, the position was taken away from her. Now she hears that Nick, not only, has the position she had but is also a leader of a team. She wanted to ask the hows to it but because she was struggling to wrap her mind around it, she babbled "H-How did... I don't-"

"Why are you here Judy?" Nick asked causing Judy to stop her babbling and look at him "Six months ago you asked me to do you a favor and stay away from you forever. Now your here, why?"

"Nick I-" Judy started but was cut off

"Tell me what do want from me, Judith Laverne Hopps?!" Nick asked angrily.

Judy's eyes widened with shock when Nick used her full name. For a few seconds the Precinct was dead silent. Except for the sound of shuddered breathing coming from the doe. After what seemed like an hour Judy shouted as tears were building up in her eyes. "You're forgiveness okay! But it's more than that."

"What do you mean?" Nick asked.

"Please let me explain." Judy replied softly, after calming down a bit, as she moved closer to Nick. When she stood right in front of him she grabbed his paw, with both of hers, and pulled it close to her chest as she looked up at him with a sad expression, and said in a soft voice.

"I want the fox I fell in love with to come back to me. I want him by my side on patrols and across from me when I'm at dinner. I want to laugh with him, when he laughs, cry with him, when he cries, and curl up in his arms after a long day of work, especially when it's those long shifts. I want him to know… that I love him with all my heart and soul. That I would do anything to make up for the things that I did. That I... that I just want him back." The tears that Judy was holding back started streaming down her face as she continued. "You were right Nick! I wasn't acting like how I used to be! I was being a fool by being with Shay, when I really want you!" Judy paused for a moment trying to swallow a lump in her throat before continuing "So... Nick, I'm the one asking for a second chance please."

After a moment Nick felt a sense of deja vu and his expression soften a bit. Because he saw the same emotional breakdown in James and himself, then now her. But then he looked to his side and remembered something.

**Flashback to Four Months and Three Weeks Ago:**

Nick had just recently moved into his new home, with some help from friends and family. Afterwards he called a few friends to go out for drinks. The ones he called are Jack Savage, Adam Delgato, James Wolford, Nadine Fangmeyer and Finnick. They went to 'The Red Serpent', their usual hangout. After getting their drinks Nick explained to them everything from his POV with James help filling in a few details here and there. At the end all of them were both enraged and shocked at the details. For a few seconds there was silence between them. But Jack was the first to break the silence when he said. "Wow this Judy Hopps is quite the colorful partner of yours Nick."

"Correction, was a colorful partner of his." Adam said with a serious face.

"Sorry." Jack apologized

"It's fine Stripes." Nick said

"So your not going to see her again?" Jack asked already knowing the answer.

"What's the point?" Nick asked "She made it VERY clear she doesn't want anything to do with me, and I intend to do what she wants. Especially hearing what she said about me."

"The thing that makes me more angry, is that she hid it from us and her family so she can keep her reputation." Nadine said

"Well for me, it's when she ran her mouth about Blue like he's a rapist and a coward." James said as he patted Nick's back. "Not to mention the fact that she used my Shay like her personal bubble where she doesn't have to feel any guilt from her actions."

"Bunny girl is right about you Wilde. You are a coward." Finnick said as he started drinking from his mug. While everyone else turned to him looking angry.

"Now why did you say that Fin?" James asked sounding angry.

After taking a sip from his beer, Finnick set his beer aside and said "Because he didn't tell her off."

When he said that everyone gave each other confused expressions before looking back at the desert fox when he turned to the fox, next to him, and said, while looking mad himself. "Look Nick, you've done everything for her. You're the reason she's still a cop in the first place. I'm sure you've stood up for her more than once right?"

"He has actually." Nadine said as everyone now turned to her "One time, years ago, when she was given the 'missing ottor case'. The chief was going to take her badge and he stood up for her against him. I was there when it happened."

"That's exactly my point." Finnick said before turning back to Nick "And how did she repay you for everything you did for her?" He didn't get a response. Instead Nick just looked at his own beer mug, with an intense glare, while Finnick continued "She took away your chance to be a parent, without remorse to your feelings."

"Then she had the gall to replace you with my Shay, and believe that she is safe from any harm that comes her way. Then called you all sorts of names to make her look innocent and you the bad guy. " James added as he clenched his fist for a moment, then dropped it.

"You know what I think?" Jack asked as Nick looked up at him. "Judy is not only heartless, but also a hypocrite." Everyone at the table then looked at Jack, with curious expressions, before he continued "Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't you just say that Judy was talking about love and respect from someone. But she didn't show any to you, or anyone else, right?"

"No." Nick replied softly, while getting mad as he tightened his grip on his mug.

"If you ask me." Finnick started. "She is the definition of a shameful coward."

After Finnick said that, there was a moment of silence at the table while Nick softly face-palmed himself. After taking a deep breath Nick said "Okay look, you guys are right about Judy. I already made up my mind to give up on her and stay away from her, but-"

"But what?" Adam asked.

"But there is this part of me that still loves her, despite everything that has happened." Nick replied looking down.

James placed his paw on Nicks shoulder to get his attention. When he did, he gave Nick a soft expression as he said "Listen Nick. The Judy that you loved, more than life, is gone she died the day your child was aborted." Nick looked sad at first but James pulled him into a tight hug, to comfort him.

"He's right." Finnick said causing Nick to look at him. "Besides the bunny girl, that you loved, wouldn't have treated you this harshly. But if she's willing to throw away everything you guys had, then you should do the same thing. You should let your anger out."

"I agree." Adam said causing Nick to look at him, after breaking off the hug from James "That part of you that still loves her. You should just shut it up, and say everything you want to say to her. It might end badly for one of you, but at least YOU will feel better about yourself."

"Thanks you guys" Nick said with a small smile.

"Do us a favor would you." Finnick said causing Nick looked at him "Don't be a coward."

"You got it." Nick said confidently.

**End of Flashback.**

The memory of that conversation is still fresh in his mind. As well as everything else that has been said and done in the last few months. Nick looked back at Judy, and was going to say something when he was met with a site that stunned him.

Judy was looking at him with big sad eyes, and there are tear stains in her fur from her recent crying. Her nose is twitching and her ears are droopy as well.

At any point in the past, he would have pulled Judy into a tight hug and told her to let her emotions out. Moreover he would also say "you bunnies, your so emotional" while he was calming her down. Even his heart told him to do all that right now. He would have done it, if it wasn't for the two very distinct voices in his head that sounded like Finnick and Shay.

_"Yo Wilde, don't fall for it. She's just going to use you to get out of the pit that she put herself in." Finnick said_

_"She said she was getting an abortion, because the fox that got her pregnant raped her." Shay said "She said that you didn't care about her, so she got the abortion out of grief."_

After hearing those voices in his mind, he still asked "Did you mean what you said Judy?"

"I do Nick, with all of my heart." Judy replied softly.

Just that statement alone, and that look in her eyes, caused Nick to experience a series of flashbacks and emotions. From the day that she told him she was pregnant, until now when she is here after everything that has happened. But because he already made up his mind on her, he did something that was unexpected.

He took both of her paws into his and gave her, a very convincing, warm smile as he said "Well, I want that too." Judy's eyes widened a bit with surprise and a bit of joy. A small smile started to creep on her face as Nick continued.

"Having my bunny with me through both the good times and bad. Cuddling with you and feeling your soft fur against mine." Nick said while taking his thumb and wiping away the tears on her face. "I too, would cry with you when you cry. Going on patrols with you is always fun. Sharing good laughs with you. But more importantly, seeing your smile everyday is something I enjoy the most. Even on days when it's really not good. I miss those good times. But I should say 'You bunnies, you are so emotional'." Nick chuckled at the last part, as Judy joined as well.

Time seemed to stand still as the two stared at each other for a few seconds. The silence was broken when Nick asked "But I just have one question." He then let go of her paws and gave her a soft expression, that quickly changed to that of anger, and his voice rose in volume, as he asked "Do you really want those things with a fox that you, yourself, said is an uncaring rapist and a low-life!"

"Wait Nick I-" Judy panicked while Nick placed a finger on her muzzle.

"Shut Up! You've done enough talking, it's time you listened rabbit!" Nick said as he removed his finger.

Adam tensed up a bit from Nick's sudden change in tone. Earlier he thought that Nick was going to get back together with Judy after everything she did. Now he is starting to sound aggressive to her. At first he was going to intervene on the conversation, but decided to stay back.

"I should let you know now, I was going to be considerate to you Judy. But then I thought, why should I when it's obvious that you would not have a problem showing off your anger, let alone show any sympathy." Nick said as he grabbed Judy by her sweater. "Judith Hopps! You've got some nerve coming here, and don't you dare try to put any of your problems on me!"

"But Nick I wasn't-" Judy started but was cut off. She had never seen Nick this mad. Even when someone made species comments on them.

"Oh I'm sure you weren't going to blame me for something! Well let me make something perfectly clear to you!" Nick said, in a harsh tone, as he let go of her. He started pointing at her as he said "You're upset that some chapters in your life are sad. Well NEWS FLASH my entire life is nothing but sad stories! I'll admit, I am responsible for your pregnancy, just like you. I also left you when you needed me, that's all me. Everything else is on you, so don't-"

"I KNOW THAT ALREADY!" Judy shouted causing Nick to stop. She glared at him for a few seconds before she calmed down and said "Look you're right, everything that has happened IS my fault. I know you've spoken with Shay, and the things that she told me is all true. I'll admit, months ago I would have blamed you for it, but I won't or ever will do that."

She didn't get a response from him. Instead Nick gave her a curious expression. His demeanor did soften, but there was still hints of resentment, when he asked "I'm surprised that you said that. Tell me, what brought up this sudden change?"

"I've been seeing a therapist about this 'issue' that I have." Judy replied, a bit annoyed of Nick's tone.

"What issue?" Nick asked out of curiosity

"That's none of your business, fox." Judy replied, the same way Nick did earlier, a bit more bitter than she intended. Nick crossed his arms and glared at her while she continued "Anyway my therapist told me that this 'issue' that I've been having is caused by the guilt that I've been suppressing over my past actions. He also told me that I should make amends on them. That way this 'issue' should disappear."

"And me forgiving you, would help with that?" Nick asked

"It's part of it." Judy replied as she came a bit closer to Nick and continued in a softer tone. "I have put a lot of thought into the decisions I've made. But Nick, I really am sorry for what I put you through. I do mean that."

Nick's left eye twitched for a moment when Judy said that. He felt that she doesn't have a clue about how he felt through the entire ordeal. Nick then abandoned any self-control he had on his anger as he asked in a very harsh tone. "Do you have ANY idea of what you put me through Judith? Do you?!"

"Nick I-" Judy started but was cut off.

"NO YOU DON'T!" Nick shouted causing Judy to flinch with fear. Nick glared at her for a moment before he calmed down a bit and uncrossed his arms, then said "I'm going to tell you, and I'll start with the day you told me you were pregnant." Nick drew in a deep breath before he continued "You knew how I felt, I was excited. Because it meant we were compatible and could have a family, but what did you say to me?" Nick then mimicked Judy's voice "I don't want this baby."

Judy didn't respond, instead she looked down in guilt and her ears were still droopy.

"Do you have ANY idea how much that hurt me to hear you say that? A LOT!" Nick said angrily "I, literally, poured my heart out to you, but it didn't matter did it?! Did the idea of having a baby that is part fox bothered you so much that you didn't consider the outcome?"

"No." Judy replied looking up to him "It's just I didn't think it was possible for us-"

"Me neither, but by some fortunate miracle we were able to. But you didn't see it that way, you saw it as a curse. Something you had to get rid of immediately." Nick said still angry "You didn't even bother doing the damn research or talk to a doctor did you! Instead you jumped straight to abortion like it was the only option."

"Okay, don't go telling me what I should and shouldn't have done." Judy said annoyed at his tone "Besides, you left me."

"And you let me!" Nick shouted "Do you know what that tells me?!"

"What?" Judy asked.

"That you don't love me enough." Nick replied while Judy's eyes widened a bit in shock as Nick continued "You cared more about your career then you cared about me. You cared more about the career you wouldn't still have if it wasn't for me." He didn't get a response from the rabbit so he continued "If you recall when Chief Buffalo Butt was going to take away your badge, during the missing mammals case, I was the only one out of everyone there who talked him into not doing that. No one else did it, just me or did you forget?"

After hearing Nick say that last part, Judy started feeling guilty even more. But also she felt part of the anger she had towards him, when she came here, start to fade away while he continued.

"You were the reason I joined the ZPD in the first place. The same reason I wanted to change who I am, and I was willing to do anything for you." Nick stated "But you weren't willing to do the same thing, were you?"

Judy didn't respond again instead she looked down in shame. But Nick came close her and lifted her up, by her chin, to look at him. She was met with a blank expression, but she could tell that there was venom on his face. Nick removed his paw from Judy's chin as he said calmly.

"Judy, I know I left you in the first place. But how could you expect me to be okay with your decision if it didn't matter what I said? How can you expect me to lend you support during the abortion operation and not feel heartbroken that my child is taken from me?" Nick asked as he moved away from her "I mean, didn't someone already ask you if you thought about how I felt about your decision?"

"Yeah." Judy choked out trying to keep herself from breaking down "My Dad. He and my mom visited me a few months ago, when they asked me. Instead of answering the question I just shoved them out my door. The same way I did to you."

"I'm not surprised that you did that, especially since you said you were willing to make sacrifices for your career." Nick stated "But sacrificing your own family the way you did. That is not okay."

"Nick I'm-" Judy tried apologizing but was cut off.

"I'm not done talking!" Nick shouted. At this point several officers gathered in the lobby after hearing Nick shouting. They all remained quiet as Nick continued "Judy, in our relationship it was always what you wanted, not me. But I wouldn't be surprised if you were just using me this whole time. Which kind of makes sense to me, because once you were done with me you just replaced me with the next fox you saw, be it another Tod or a Vixen."

Judy felt her heart sink as she thought back to that day. It's true as soon as she had the operation she looked to her left and saw Shay for the first time. She became friends with her, then after sometime she had a relationship with her and figured as long as she had Shay, she would be alright. But once Nick came back and her secret came out everything went to hell. She was broken from her thoughts when Nick said.

"But here is something else, if you had stopped me from leaving. I don't know make up some excuse to stop me, or ran after me down the hall and dragged me back. I would have stayed and maybe listened to whatever you had to say. You could have even tried to find me. With all your investigation skills, it would have been easy to find me. Maybe you could even find Finnick and begged him to tell you where I was, like you did years ago. But you didn't do any of those things or thought to do them." Nick stated angrily "Because you knew once you were rid of me you can do whatever you wanted, and the proof is in the pudding because you still went through with your premeditated sin and didn't feel guilty afterwards."

Judy felt her heart clench at that last statement. As she looked at Nick she hallucinated, when she saw the angry look on his face she immediately saw Shay standing to his right, with her own angry expression, before she disappeared. Shays voice, from that same day her anger was first shown, played in her head:

_"Don't You Dare Speak Like That About My Fluffy, Rabbit!"_

"Out of everyone we've met on cases or outside of work, you were the one mammal who knew what this city has done to me and how much pain I've been through, for my most of my life." Nick said breaking Judy from her thoughts "Yet, out of everyone who has hurt me, you've hurt me the most. You really hurt me, Judy, and way worse than anybody else has in my entire life."

"Nick I'm really-" Judy tried apologizing again, feeling really terrible for how she treated him. But was cut off again.

"Shut up!" Nick shouted stopping Judy's apology, causing her to flinch a bit. "I don't need your last minute sympathy. What's done is done, besides you got what you wanted right? Getting to do your job as a police officer without anyone getting in your way, or someone talking you into quiting right?"

After Nick said that Judy looked down and started hallucinating again. This time, every heated moment she had up till now flashed to her mind. Images of her parents, her colleagues, Shay and Nick came to her mind. As well as all the looks of anger, disgust and disdain she received from them and everywhere else in the city caused her to hyperventilate. She also heard their voices like they were standing right there, she probably would have fallen to her knees in tears, but then Nick spoke breaking her from her thoughts again

"Y'know I actually had a lot more to say to you Judy" Nick stated "But since Shay already spoke to you about most of them, there are only certain issues I want to address to you."

Judy looked back up at him in a bit of fear of what he might say to her.

"Judy what does it say on out badges?" Nick asked calmly.

"*gulp* Bravery, Integrity and Trust." Judy said in a shaky breath, after going through her hallucinations, and getting the attention of some of the officers that are present in the lobby of the Precinct, who were already giving her disdain looks.

"Correct." Nick said "Those 3 words are considered to be the code that everyone in all the ZPD Precincts follow. You didn't break the law, but you broke the code." Nick had on an angry expression, and going back to being angry. "You were brave enough to be honest with me, but you couldn't do the same thing for our friends and colleagues? Did you think they would have treated you the same way I did?"

"They've been treating me like that for the past couple months." Judy panicked while she was blinking very fast to keep herself from shedding tears in front of Nick and everyone present here.

"That's because you kept it from them for so long. I mean, weren't they already asking you questions about what happened between us?" Nick asked not getting a response. "Maybe if you talked with them sure, some of them would be against it. Probably looked at you with angry looks for a while. But if you did it, sometime before you went through with the operation, maybe some of them could have convinced you to think differently." Judy started to shake a bit while Nick continued "Here's something else, they could have even gone and find me and lock us in a room just to talk everything out. But since you chose not to tell them, they felt that they didn't get a say in this. Also, you broke their trust when you didn't tell them a thing about us or your situation. That's why they are all treating you worst than how they did when you first joined the ZPD. Especially since you weren't honest from the start. Remember Integrity, you broke that as well. You're not like other mammals, Judy and you know it. Your choices affect everyone, and your to prideful to admit it."

Judy didn't respond, because she was in shock as the realization hit her. The only sign of this is that she had on a shocked expression and was blinking fast as she slowly looked down. She has written in her journal a couple months ago about what she has done and it made her think twice on all the things that she has done. She had no idea how much damage she has done, not only to her family and Nick and Shay, but also her friends and colleagues in blue. She was going to respond but then she heard some of the officers present say.

"Wait, if she broke the code, then how is she still in a precinct?"

"I can't believe this."

"That rabbit has got some nerve to even be here."

Before things could get out of hand, Adam stopped the officers by saying "Okay break it up you guys, nothing more to see here." The officers then left and went back to their jobs while they were still chatting about the bunny. Judy looked in the direction of the officers before she looked back at Nick, and he is looking at her still with his angry expression but also crossing his arms. Adam also left, but not before giving Judy a disdain look.

"Nick I-" Judy said, in a shaky breath, but was cut off again.

"No, I don't want to hear it." Nick said "Besides thinking about everything has cemented somethings that I've been thinking about a couple months ago. For one thing; you haven't been acting like a cop that fateful night."

Judy then started to get upset by that statement. After taking a breath, she asked in a low tone "What do you mean exactly?"

"Before I answer that let me ask you something." Nick replied "How do you treat a drunk individual, in general?"

"Huh?" Judy asked sounding confused.

"How do you treat a drunk individual, in general?" Nick repeated his question.

"Well, I would make sure they are not being a danger to themselves or anyone else around them." Judy said calmly "I would also bring in a sober friend to try to calm them down if they are agitated. But the most important thing is to approach them in a friend-" Judy stopped mid sentence realizing where this is going. She looked at him and saw that he was looking at her the same way, except he raised both his eyebrows. She didn't like this so she said sounding angry "Okay I know what you're thinking, but you made yourself that cup of coffee and I let you. So whatever it is just tell me."

"You just answered my question." Nick said

"What?" Judy asked

"Everything you just said earlier is how a cop handles any drunk mammal. You however didn't do any of those things that night." Nick replied. Judy was going to respond, but Nick held up his paw to stop her "Look I was an ex. A drunk ex and you hated me I get it, but you didn't have any decency to even do those things. Or tell me to sleep on the couch and say "No, we're not having this discussion now, lets talk in the morning when you are sober", you couldn't even do that Judy. Instead you purposely went out of your way to verbally assault me, then holding paws with Shay in front of me. That just made me more and more agitated and that's something you don't want to do to someone who is drunk, cause it can lead to potential injuries, like what I did to Shay."

Judy was taken aback by that explanation. She had taken second thoughts about her other actions before, after writing them in her journal, but she hadn't reconsidered the events of that night. If she had put more thought into it, despite being awake at two in the morning, things would have been different. Realizing this, made Judy's heart sink a bit as she looked at Nick with a shocked expression as he said. "Judy, the one thing that has really pissed me off about that night, besides everything else that has happened, is that you lied to me."

"No I didn't-" Judy panicked

"Yes you did! Remember when you said that you forgave me for being a shameful coward?" Nick asked, in an angry tone, not getting a response "Well that was a big damn lie. You only said it so I can leave you alone. In fact, you never admitted your own faults or even apologized for what you did. All you said was." Nick then mimicked Judy's voice "We both made mistakes." After a few seconds of tense silence, felt longer to Judy, Nick said "Now explain to me this; You refused to give me a second chance that night, and now you are here begging the same thing from me! What makes you think I'm going to give you a second chance, huh?!"

Judy didn't respond right away instead she looked down, with a sad expression and her nose twitching, and felt her heart sink. She didn't realize it but Nick moved and was standing right in her personal space, his arms on his sides, towering over her. When she did notice Nick standing in front of her, she looked up and looked right into Nicks emerald eyes and is met with nothing but fury, which burned into her making her shrink with self-loathing and fear, as he spoke.

"Y'know, Finnick is right about you: You are the definition of a shameful coward! When you make decisions, big decisions, you do it by yourself and not consider the outcome of them! But when the outcome does come, you just hide behind someone and then you think you will be alright since that other mammal will take the pressure of your problems and you don't even apologize for what you did!" Nick shouted at full volume as he was walking closer to her and she backed away from him in fear "Judith Hopps I trusted you. I trusted you with my life, you were my inspiration my everything. When we were apart for that entire year, I still called myself 'your fox'."

Nick grabbed Judy by her sweater, tightly, as he continued "I did everything for you Judy. EVERYTHING! And how do you repay me? You took my child from me, and didn't even bother to think about how I felt! The worse part, is that you had the nerve to tell others that I'm this rapist that got you pregnant and that I didn't care about your situation! HOW DARE YOU!" Nick shouted causing fear to spike within Judy as he continued "After I came so far in my life you ripped me down and made me feel worthless and look like a bad guy! You betrayed me! I thought that the press conference was the lowest you could go, but I was horribly wrong! The one thing in my life I will regret the most, is falling in love with you! Because if I knew you would do these things I would have kept my distance from you."

Nick bodily shoved Judy against the counter. He then got close to her, his muzzle is a few inches away from hers. His voice fell, almost whispering. He was cold as ice, the rage crystal clear in his eyes, his tone alone brought tears to Judy's eyes as he said "You don't deserve me Judith Hopps. You don't deserve my presence, my love, my kindness or my forgiveness. All you deserve is nothing but pure savage contempt from me. To hell with you and your 'issue'. I will NEVER forgive you, Judy."

She feared that he would say that. She knew that this is one of the many scenarios that would happen. But seeing it happen in front of her own eyes, and hearing Nick's regret, made this way worse than what she expected, and it broke her. Every part of Judy wanted to curl into a ball of misery, then sob into her paws that would cover her face, and wished to die. But as she saw Nick start to back away from her, she moved towards him and grabbed his shirt to stop him and said in a panicked tone.

"Nick, I SWEAR I will not hurt you again for as long as I live!"

"Get your paws off of me Hopps!" Nick shouted as he grabbed her paws and removed them from his shirt.

"Nick?" Came a voice, before anything could happen further.

Nick and Judy turned to the source of the voice to see three fox kits and a doe having just entered the precinct and are standing a few feet from them. Judy had no idea who any of these mammals were, except the doe and one of the kits. She didn't know why but the doe looked a bit familiar to her.

But for Nick he knew who they were. As he looked at them, he saw Josh wearing a red shirt and jean shorts and had on a backpack likely containing toddler supplies, standing to his left is his little sister Skye wearing a pink shirt with a red heart on the front and wearing a purple skirt and holding her red fox plushie. The two of them were standing close to Lara who was wearing a purple tank top jean shorts and is holding her 3 year old son MJ, carrying him on her left hip, who is wearing a blue shirt and light brown shorts.

A brief moment passed before Lara asked softly "Sorry is this a bad time?"

Nick had on a soft expression as moved towards her and said in his usual tone "Yes and no Lara. Yes, because I'm in a serious conversation with my former partner and I don't want the kids to see it. No, because I did promise to take you and the little ones out for lunch and a snowball fight." Nick then looked down, at Skye, with a smile and said "Hey my little Snowball."

"Hewwo Daddy." Skye said as Nick picked her up, and held her in his arms, and gave her a peck on her right cheek causing her to giggle.

"Hey Sport." Nick said to Josh

"Hi-" Josh started but was cut off when Nick started ruffling his head fur "Hahaha... Dad stop it!" Josh squealed. Nick then turned around looking back at Judy holding Lara's free paw while Josh clinged to his right leg.

Judy was busy watching the whole exchange, while trying to figure out where she saw the doe and her kits picture, and felt her heart rate pick up a bit figuring it out. She was going to ask Nick who the other kits were but that was never asked because she saw Nick holding the does right paw and said in a panicked tone "You-" Getting there attention but was cut off.

"Hold that thought." Nick said turning to look at the kits "Kids why don't you go and say hi to Uncle Adam over there." He said turning to the lion currently coming into the lobby and saw the kits. Nick and Lara set the kits down on the ground, then the three of them hurried over to Adam in excitement.

"Don't run!" Nick and Lara shouted, earning them a "Sorry" from the kits. When the kits arrived at Adam, he bent down and received hugs from all three of them. Seeing this exchange caused Nick to have a big smile and Lara to also smile and say "Ugh, those three can be a bit of trouble sometimes, but they are just so adorable." Nick agreed with her as he mumbled a "Uh-huh" The sweet moment was ruined when the other doe said "You." Causing Nick and Lara to look at her.

"You're Lara Anderson aren't you?" Judy asked in a shaky tone.

"I am." Lara replied "And the arctic fox kit with the patches of black fur is my son. A fox and rabbit hybrid by the way."

After she said that Judy's eyes widened a bit from shock. She then looked back in the direction the kits left and saw them getting piggybacks from Adam. She saw the two other kits ridding on the lions shoulders, while the kit in question is on top of Adams head. As she looked at the little kit having fun, her brain couldn't comprehend this situation.

"I can't believe it, Lara had a kit with a fox and she turned out okay. But how?" Judy thought

"Well, aren't you going to say anything?" Nick asked coldly.

"Huh?" Judy asked looking back at him.

"Aren't you going to go tell Lara off about MJ? Saying things like how he's a freak, or say how Lara-" Nick explained but was cut off.

"Nick please just stop!" Judy shouted with a bit more force than she intended. After a few seconds she said calmly, while still in a shaky tone "I'm not going to say any of that to her or t-to MJ."

"Wait-wait-wait are you serious right now?!" Nick asked, while rubbing his face, causing to Judy to flinch a bit "The day you said you were pregnant you said our child would be some kind of freak or probably kill you. Now you see another doe in a similar situation you were in and you don't say anything. It's like you've done a complete one-eighty. Explain to me why you would say such cruel things and make a decision about our kit, but you don't do to someone else's kit?"

"Nick I told you, I've been seeing a therapist for the past few months." Judy replied while looking down in guilt. "And I've taken second thoughts on all of my actions up until now. I realized already, before I came to you, that my actions caused so much trouble and pain to a lot of mammals, especially those that I care about. Like my family and ou-our friends at the ZPD." Judy took a deep breath before she looked up and made eye contact with Nick "And especially you."

After Judy made her plea Nick stared at her, with a blank expression but with the hints of resentment are still there, for a good ten seconds before he said coldly "Y'know, a long time ago I learned an old saying; actions speak louder than words. So even if what you're saying is true, you haven't done anything to prove you are sorry."

After Nick said that Judy looked down in defeat. His words did hurt, but there was a lot of truth in them. When she realized that she was the cause of the recent events in the city like the Hybrid-Riot months ago. She didn't do anything then, she heard it was Nick, Shay and James that did talks to the pubic about her premeditated sin and how to properly handle it, that stopped the riots. While she was busy doing her job as a Parking Enforcer. She didn't even say sorry to anyone for what she had said or done, not even to her own family and friends. Realizing this she couldn't muster the courage to even look up at Nick. But she can still feel his fury boring into her making her shrivel in fear a bit. So instead she looked in the direction of Lara and asked in a shaky voice, "C-can I ask, h-how did you get through your pregnancy?"

Nick and Lara looked at each other for a brief moment, before looking back at her. Lara let go of Nick's paw and said in a calm voice. "Alright." Lara took a few steps towards Judy and said "But I'll be honest with you first, Judy. When I found out I was pregnant with MJ, I was in the same situation like you. Y'know worrying about my career, how my kit would look and about my life being in danger."

Judy's eyes widened in surprise. She didn't know that there was another doe rabbit in the same predicament like her, having the same worries and fears, but she had a feeling in her heart that the truth is going to hurt.

"But I weighted my options." Lara said as she raised her right paw. "On one paw, I could have done what you did and got an abortion because I valued my career." She then raised her other paw so it's leveled with the other one. "On the other I could got through with the pregnancy because I love my husband more than life it's self." Lara then lowered her right paw and raised her left paw higher and had on a confident smile as she said. "I made my choice, and I don't regret it one bit."

Judy stared at Lara, with a confused expression, for a moment trying to comprehend what she had been told. Lara had all the same fears she did but she still went through with the pregnancy. But Judy didn't instead, for her, she went ahead with her operation because she feared for both her life and her career. After a brief moment Judy asked "I... I don't understand. You went through with your pregnancy but what about your career? I'm sure you must have worked hard to get where you are now."

Lara lowered her paw and gave Judy an annoyed expression as she asked "Did you honestly think I got to where I am by myself?" She didn't get a response. Instead Judy lowered her head a little bit as she continued "I didn't, you see. Back when I used to work at the hospital here in Tundratown; There were times when I was just feeling down, but Michael was there to cheer me up. Even if it was with little things that he did for me like bringing me my favorite sandwich from my favorite deli. When my former co-workers were giving him crap just for being a fox, and my boyfriend, I was ready to, let's say, assault them if you get what I mean. But he was there to stop me from doing it before I could get into trouble. But more importantly, Michael is my love. He would spend every chance he could get to make me feel very special and loved and I would do the same for him." Lara paused for a moment to see if there was any reaction from Judy. She saw that Judy was staring at her with her mouth opened a little bit. "I'll bet if you think about, there were a lot of times when Nick here." Lara said pointing to the fox next to her. "Did all those things and more for you. Am I right?"

When Lara said that last part, Judy felt a lump in her throat and struggled to swallow. She looked down in guilt trying to think of a way to respond to the question, but she couldn't bring herself to answer it for some reason. However Lara was right, Nick has done a lot of things for her both big things like planning an anniversary dinner for her, to little things like bringing her breakfast in bed on their day offs. Judy then mustered the courage to look at Nick for a moment before looking back down and saying softly "Yes, yes he did."

There was tension that lasted a few seconds, but felt like hours, when Lara broke it by saying "Anyway, to answer your question from earlier. I was put on maternity leave and nothing bad happened to my career if you were wondering. Also regarding my pregnancy, it was well and I don't regret going through with it one bit, but my Mikey was a bit of a pain during that time."

"What?" Nick said causing both does to look at him. Nick moved towards Lara as he asked with a bit of a chuckle "Mike was a pain?" He stood in her personal space and she crossed her arms as he continued "From what you told me he was just being a gentlemammal."

"Of course you would say that." Lara said as she looked at Judy who gave her a confused expression "Look, I couldn't do anything like doing the dishes without him picking me up and carrying me to the couch so that he could do them. He did stuff like that the entire time that I was pregnant."

"Well you were carrying a hybrid kit at the time, he must have thought to do all those chores for you so that you don't have to stress yourself out or overwork yourself." Nick explained. Lara looked at Nick with an intense glare, which caused Nick to take one step back, after a while uncrossed her arms and lowered her head as she moved towards Nick and hugged him. Nick returned the hug while Lara said softly.

"I wish you didn't say that. Cause now I miss him even more."

"I'm sorry Lara." Nick said while he planted a kiss in between her ears.

"It's okay." Lara said "But honestly, you guys should've gone through with your pregnancy. Because then you would've felt what me and Mikey felt."

That statement alone caused Nick to give her a confused expression, while Judy hallucinated again. She saw her son standing next to Nick, looking disfigured again, glaring at her with his arms crossed. Just seeing him and knowing what Lara just said made her feel really terrible for what she did. She was going to say something to him when Nick spoke, breaking her from her hallucination "And what was that?"

"Well the second me and Mikey laid eyes on MJ, the day he was born, it was like we drowned in a sea of love." Lara replied as she looked up at Nick "We cried for what felt like hours as we held our baby. But for me, every time I held him or looked at him. I knew I made the right decision to keep him."

"Well that was a precious moment for you guys." Nick said as he nuzzled Lara's forehead and she giggled.

Time seemed to have stopped for them because they didn't notice that Judy was staring at them with a shocked expression. She had been watching their interactions from the moment they held paws up until now that they are hugging. The signs were there but she didn't want to believe it. They were together, realizing this caused her to feel razor sharp daggers to penetrate her heart. After a moment, and breathing in a shaky breath, she said "Nick no!" Both fox and doe looked at her as she continued "You replaced me with another bunny, a-a female bunny?"

"You do mean doe right?" Nick asked rhetorically

"But why? I mean, she's married so how are you-" Judy asked but was cut off.

"Let me stop you right there. The last part to your question, whatever it might be, is none of your business." Nick replied "But the first part, the why, I was just doing what you said I should do: Move on. That is what you said to Shay, remember? But I think earlier when you arrived here and saw me in this uniform, you must have thought that I only got back on the force just so you can like me again right." He didn't get a response so he said "Based on your silence my theory is correct."

As soon as Nick said that, Judy had a hallucination again. This time she heard her own voice saying the same thing that Nick just said, answering his question: He just needs to move on, that's all! At the moment now, any feelings of anger or resentment that she had over Nick were quickly replaced with fear. The fear that she will be all by herself, without anyone if she doesn't turn things around.

"Also remember your question from earlier on how I got my scar?" Nick asked breaking Judy from her thoughts "I was close to ending my life because of you."

"W-What?" Judy asked in shocked

"Don't be so surprised I told you I couldn't live my life without, and considering the way I lost you. I felt I lost my reason for living." Nick replied coldly while breaking off the hug from Lara. "Actually it's more like the future WE could have had was destroyed because of you."

"W-What do you mean?" Judy asked

"Well, the kits-" Nick said turning to Adam and the Kits but not seeing them. He thought that Adam must have taken them away from the lobby so they don't hear the arguments. Despite this he continued as he looked back at her "The kits we could've had together, like ours, we could have gotten married. Then we would still be officers, or lieutenants, and we'd still have amazing stories and memories to carry with us till we are old. But based on what Lara just said about values. You valued your career more than me, and that's what lead me to commit suicide."

"I-" Judy whispered feeling daggers in her heart from hearing that Nick was close to ending his life.

"But by some miracle I didn't die as I thought, instead I woke up in a hospital and Lara was there to take care of me, and helped me get the strength I need to stand up." Nick said as he moved towards Lara and said with a smile "If it wasn't for you Lara, I don't think I would have the strength to even get out of bed, or leave the hospital."

"It was my pleasure Slick." Lara said while smiling at him.

"Wait, this doesn't explain how you guys got together." Judy said getting their attention

"Well sometime after I left the hospital, me and Lara stayed in contact but eventually we both developed feelings for each other." Nick said as he looked at Lara with a soft smile. He then looked at Judy and said in a harsh tone. "And unlike you Judy, I don't push my problems onto her and expect them to go away. I treat her with love and respect unlike you." He didn't get a response from her, instead he heard a sigh from Lara. He turned to her and saw that she was rubbing her face. After a moment he asked softly "Was it something I said?"

"No." Lara replied "It's just, this situation has given me a flashback now."

"What was it?" Nick asked

"Well before I was with Mike, I was in a relationship with this one buck and let's just say it was terrible." Lara replied looking back and forth between Nick and Judy for a moment before she continued "But then Mike came around and sang me this one song called Treat you Better, and I've been with him ever since." Lara then placed her paw on Nick's chest and said "And Nick, I've been thinking about singing it to you sometime after you left the hospital. But with different lyrics to the original of course."

"Aww thank you Lara." Nick said as he gently grabbed hold of her paw "But wait, if Mike sang that song to you. Are you sure you want to sing that song, which is very important to you, to me?"

"I am." Lara replied "But Nick, the original version of the song is what's important to me. The version I'm going to sing, was something I planned for you. Back when you were having your nightmares."

"Really?" Nick asked while he gave his trademark smirk and pulled Lara into an embrace "Cause I thought I already got my medication for that Doctor Snowball."

"Now now Lieutenant Dork." Lara said as she removed her paw from his chest, and broke the hug, while giggling a bit "But there is one thing you must do for me, you must go on your knees." She said while pulling out her phone from her pocket.

"Okay." Nick said as he complied with her request. After a moment Lara played the music she picked "**Shawn Mendes - Treat You Better"**, the instrumental version of it. Then sheset her phone in her pocket then placed both of her paws on Nicks cheeks lifting his up so he has eye contact with her as she said "Nick." before she took a deep breath and started singing sweetly in her own voice to him.

When the bridge of the song was reached, Lara placed Nick's head on her chest and kept one paw on his cheek while she placed the other on the back of his head. She slowly stroked the fur on his neck as she continued to sing.

When the singing was over Nick wrapped his arms around Lara's waist, who placed her head on top of his, and breathed a content sigh as he said. "That was beautiful Lara."

"I second that." Adam said cheerfully. Lara looked up and saw the lion bringing the kits over, he placed the kits on the ground and they came over to her as he said "You have a beautiful voice Lara."

"Thank you." Lara said bashfully "I hope these little stinkers didn't give you too much trouble."

"No they didn't, but little MJ here had an accident in his pants so I had to help him get cleaned." Adam said gesturing to the kit who blushed, from the statement, while the other kits patted him on his back.

"I was wrong about something." Nick said getting everyone's attention

"What is that Nick?" Adam asked, beating Lara to it.

"It's Lara." Nick replied while smiling "Months ago, I said she was my New Light in my dark times but I'm wrong about that. Because she is actually an angel."

"*sigh* When you say things like that it proves what I've been saying: You Nicholas Piberius Wilde are a dork." Lara said as she looked at him and smiled "But you're my cute dork." Lara then gave Nick a peck on his forehead.

"EWWW!" Skye said as she stuck her tongue out and covered her eyes.

"Mommy no kissing!" MJ said as he covered his eyes also disgusted by the site.

Josh turned away from the site as well. He looked at Adam and asked "Uncle Adam, are all adults so gross?"

The lion chuckled a bit at the kits question before answering "No, they just show affection for one another like that. But someday you kids might be in that case." The answered caused the kits to look back at Nick and Lara for a moment before sticking their tongues out. The adults present giggled at the expense of the kids.

However Judy didn't chuckle with the others, instead she stared in shock at what had happened. From the moment Nick said that he had feelings for Lara up until Lara's singing was like daggers being sent into her heart. She couldn't bear it, but when Lara kissed Nick on his forehead was the last straw for her. In a fit of rage Judy walked over to Lara and said in a harsh tone "Get your paws off of my fox!"

"Your fox?" Lara said as she let go of Nicks head to look at her "Last I checked, you 'pushed' him out of your life and told him to never come back. That's what you said."

"BUG OFF OF MY FOX!" Judy shouted as she pushed Lara with all of her strength onto the ground, and she fell on her backside.

"Ouch!" Lara shouted in pain.

"Lara!" Nick shouted as he got up and went to her with the kits, while MJ was shouting "Mommy". When they got to her Nick helped her up as he asked "Are you okay?" The doe in question dusted herself and looked at Nick with a soft expression.

"I'm fine Nick, don't worry." Lara said as she pulled the fox into an embrace and he reciprocated the hug. Both Josh and Skye hugged Nick, on his sides, while MJ hugged his mom.

The second after Judy pushed Lara, she calmed down but then began to panic a bit realizing what she had just did. She was going to apologize for it, but then Nick got up and went to her, with the kits, and helped her get up on her feet. Her heart sank when she saw Lara hugging him and she used the scent glands, in her cheeks, to scent mark him, like you would for the mammal you love. The site alone caused a lot of emotional pain to hit her in her heart. Despite that she tried to her best to hide the pain she felt and said, as she slowly moved towards them "L-Lara I'm so sorry, I-" She was cut off by Adam who blocked her way to them.

After a few seconds of hugging Nick broke the hug and looked Lara in the eyes and said in a calm, but serious, tone "Lara, take the kids outside I'll be with you soon."

"Okay." Lara said while booping Nick on his nose with her own.

"What are you going to do Dad?" Josh asked looking at his Father.

"I'm going to finish this discussion with my old partner." Nick replied to his son using a similar tone"Just take your sister and go with Lara okay?"

Josh nodded in agreement. Lara then picked up MJ and sat him on her left hip. While Josh grabbed hold of his sisters left paw and then took hold of Lara's free paw. The four of them then made their way to front entrance but as they made their way, Lara looked back for a moment at Nick and gave him a soft smile then he returned the same smile. But once the four mammals left the Precinct, Nick dropped his smile then turned around to face Judy and gave her a very cold expression that made her shrivel in fear as he took a few steps towards her and stood next to Adam.

"Nick I-" Judy tried to apologize but was cut off

"Don't." Nick said "I've had enough of this conversation of ours."

"You know what you could do." Adam said getting Nick's attention "You could file an Assault Charge against her, since she did commit a near domestic violence against you. That's what got you your scar on the other cheek, right?"

Nick looked back at Judy for a moment mulling the suggestion over before looking back at the lion and said "I'll think about it. But for now I'll handle it."

"You got it boss." Adam said as he patted Nick on the back gently before leaving.

When Adam left, Nick looked back at Judy and saw that she was hyperventilating and blinking her eyes, likely to prevent herself from crying. His hard expression soften a bit and he felt a tinge of guilt in his heart from seeing her in her current state. That feeling of wanting to hug her and tell her to let her emotions out came back. But then he dropped those feelings when he heard James's voice

"Listen Nick. The Judy that you loved, more than life, is gone. She died the day your child was aborted."

After hearing that voice he said, in a harsh tone "I'm ending our 'reunion' with a quote Judy."

"A-A quote?" Judy asked

"Hmmm" Nick replied "And this quote comes from the bunny who ruined my life, damaged her own then blamed me for it." Nick took a deep breath before he said "I found me a new love, with someone who loves and respects me! With her I gotta a new life to live, to start anew! I deserve to live a new life, Judy! I was **Born to be Alive!**"

Judy felt as if her entire life was broken at those words. The exact same words she used against Nick months ago when she shoved him out of her door and told him to not come back. Realizing this, she slightly shook her head 'No' as she said in a shaky tone "Nick please..."

"Do you think I'm that soft, that by wearing the sweater that my mom made for you, for your birthday, is going to change my opinion. It doesn't!" Nick shouted "Not to mention showing up out of the blue with some 'emotional speech' about how sorry you are and wanting your fox back. It doesn't help you at all, besides I already said that you have what you wanted. So go out there and be this hero bunny that mammals think you were. But I don't think anyone would be willing to be your scapegoat, so you can carry on with your career and they have to deal with the pressure from your problems. But do me a favor and stay away from me, my kits and my bunny." Nick turned away from and started making his way the front entrance as he said "Goodbye Judy."

Nick only managed to get a few feet away from her when she shouted "NICK PLEASE STOP!" Causing him to stop dead in his tracks.

"Nick I'm begging you please don't leave me." Judy said while tears were streaming down her face, no longer hiding the pain in her heart, as she continued "I-I said goodbye so many times, but I can't do it anymore. I already lost my family and friends because of my pride. But I really can't imagine what my life would be like without you in it." She didn't get a response from him so she said, while her voice rose in volume "Do you hear me Nick?! I don't want you out of my life, I want you in it. I'm not strong enough to say goodbye to someone I love, or to live my life by my myself, I need you. I am sincerely sorry for hurting you a-and for what I did, I swear will not hurt you again you have to believe that please Nick."

Nick stayed quiet during the whole plea, and after a moment passed he turned around so that he's scar, from his failed suicide, can be seen. He locked eyes with Judy for a good few seconds before he said in a harsh tone "Why don't you save your apologies for my child, that you killed for your career, **Risen from the Dead.**" Nick turned back to the front doors and moved towards them. When he arrived at the doors he paused for a moment and said coldly "Goodbye Judith Laverne Hopps, I hope I don't see you again for as long as I live." After he said that he left through the front doors.

As soon as Nick was out of sight, Judy fell to her knees in emotional agony. Nick's last words to her kept playing in her head over and over, and each time it happens it sends a dagger into her heart.

"They're gone, they are all gone. What am I going to do now?" Judy thought while leaning forward and pressing her paws to the floor and bowing her head down causing the tears fall to the floor as she closed her eyes. While she was shedding tears, she didn't realize it yet, she hallucinated again. When she opened her eyes she saw a pair of feet belonging to a fox kit.

"I told you mommy." Came a familiar voice. Judy looked up and was meet with the site of her kit, looking normal this time, and giving her a blank expression as he continued. "I told you that daddy would tell you the same thing you told him but worse. Now you are all alone."

Right after he said that, Nick appeared next to him, wearing his former attire of his Pawaiin shirt, tie and grey shorts. He glared at Judy while he picked up his son and said "Goodbye Carrots." Then they both vanished into blue light. Once they disappeared, Judy looked in their direction for a brief moment before she buried her face into her paws then started bawling uncontrollably.

AN: (DUN DUN DUN! Nick has made his feelings very clear. Judy now has to face the reality she feared: Isolation. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE Review. Next time on Risen from the Dead: We get to see the aftermath of this confrontation from both Nick and Judy, as well as a surprise. But again PLEASE review.

This chapter is heavily inspired by the old sayings "Karma is a Bitch" and "What goes around comes around.")

Also the song that Lara used is this: watch?v=eiG_DUXD8YQ The original and it will appear again in the next chapter, you'll see where.

P.S Could you guys please take a moment and listen to these 3 songs here:

1\. watch?v=JyMKZYD90Ss

2\. watch?v=WlTlUseVt7E

3\. watch?v=HHOLzOLAbXI

When you comment also vote for the one you think is more catchy than the others. I'm going to use the winning song in the next chapter. You can also ask around for others to vote here. I will leave a status post and say that voting is closed. Hopefully by then I will have at least half of the next chapter done.

Last thing I should mention, I was having a discussion with a friend of mine on Discord regarding my story. He gave some tips on how to improve and suggestions for my story. So I'm going to give him special shoutouts for the Chapters where I'm going to use his advice, like this one.

Special shoutout to: Camoss. Thank you so much for your input Cam.

If you comment please keep it civil. I don't want a fight breaking out in the comment section.  
Also if you have any suggestions, feel free to note me.

If you guys like my content. Please consider supporting me either at ko-fi or BuyMeaCoffee or Streamlabs

/spectra98

Spectra98

/spectra98/tip


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Hey all, so sorry for such a late update to this story. It's because my motivation to draw or continue this story has been slipping away from me. For more information about that, check on my latest journal entry on Deviantart under the topic "Motivation". Anyway onto the story which I'm sure many of you are waiting for.**

**Chapter 5: Confessions and Regrets**

Disclamer:I do not own Zootopia or any of it's characters, they all belong to Disney. Rated T for Dark

A pillow soaked with tears, and a heart that has been broken into a million pieces. That's all Judy felt for the past three weeks straight. She already had a tough time for the past couple months to sleep properly but after her shattered reunion with Nick, things have gotten a lot worse. In the past she would just see her son disfigured and hearing the angry voices from all her past arguments. Now the hallucinations have gotten to the point that she can actually see that particular event like it's happening right in front of her, but it's ones that have caused a lot of emotional damage to those she cared about. But the events she kept seeing are ones like the day she was pregnant, when she had her operation, that fateful night with Nick, the before and after events of that night. But the worst part is that she sees Nick's broken expression a lot more. She tried to think of something else but all that does now, is just make her remember what has happened in the past weeks that she tries to forget about but still hurts when they enter her mind like what happened at the party at the ZPD, and after.

**Flashback to two weeks and three days ago:**

Judy was dressed in casual clothes that consist of a wrinkled pink shirt and black sweat pants, she didn't take much care of her appearance after what happened with Nick. Not that she didn't care because if someone were to see her on the streets, or in shops, they would just give her looks of disdain and cruel remarks. But that's fine to her because there is only one mammal that she really wants back in her life, but she drove him away by her own actions. She was walking down the street without a destination in mind, she was just trying to clear her head and thought a bit of fresh air, even night time air, could help. But the memory of her encounter with Nick, Lara and the kits came to mind. That time had put all her thoughts about her premeditated sin, and everything else, into perspective. But what Lara said about her kit, and what Nick said regarding his scar, were the first things that came to her mind. Or rather a ghoulish image of Lara and Nick, wearing the same clothing they wore from then, appeared on both sides of her and said it.

_"The second me and Mikey laid eyes on MJ, the day he was born, it was like we drowned in a sea of love." Lara said "We cried for what felt like hours as we held our baby. But for me, every time I held him or looked at him. I knew I made the right decision to keep him"_

_"I was close to ending my life because of you." Nick said "Don't be so surprised I told you I couldn't live my life without you, and considering the way I lost you. I felt I lost my reason for living. Actually it's more like the future WE could have had was destroyed because of you."_

When the voices ended Judy looked at where she was; She was standing in the parking lot of Precinct one. She had no idea how she got there and she heard music playing from inside the building, but she didn't recognize it yet. However she remembered that James was planning a party for Nick, so she thought that's what the music is for. She didn't want to, in fact every part of her told her not go look, but she walked up the steps to the front entrance and when she got there, looking in through the glass, her heart sank at what she saw. She saw all of her colleges, Nick's parents and sister, Finnick, Shay and Nick all dancing to "Michael Jackson - Beat It." She remembered Nick telling her that he danced to this song when he was in high school and won a few dance competitions with it. But they were not the only ones she saw at the party. She also saw her parents and two of her siblings Jared Hopps, a light brown bunny with light blue eyes, who is wearing a grey body warmer and grey shorts, and Amanda Hopps, who has the same fur color like her but doesn't have the black tipped ears like her and has green eyes, who is wearing a blue t-shirt and jeans, dancing. She looked to her left and saw Shay dancing with James and Nick dancing with her siblings. In fact, every direction she looked everyone was dancing and having a good time, especially Nick. But after a while everybody made room in the center of the lobby so Nick could dance solo. As she watched him dance for a while, she noticed that he was wearing his own Michael Jackson outfit and smiling which meant he was very happy. But seeing him so happy caused a lot of guilt to hit her hard. Because the last time she saw him this happy, was when she told him she was pregnant. She was unable to look at the party any further, so she turned around and left while feeling her heart breaking as his smile was burned into her mind.

**(One Week Later)**

After the heartbreaking event of the party last week, and the failed attempt of clearing her mind from past events. Judy decide to go somewhere specific to clear her mind, and to lighten her broken soul a bit. So she came to The Red Serpent, but before she went inside she looked up at the over head sign and a small smile creeped up on her face. She remembered the first time that Nick brought her here, and he explained to her what the bar is like. A place where both law enforcement and non-law enforcement mammals frequent, like other bars in the city. But what set's this place apart from other bars in Zootopia is the friendly atmosphere. He told her that on a couple occasions when a patron, who is either sad or angry, comes into the bar and they explain to the barmammal and, probably, other patrons why they feel like they do, they would comfort them and maybe even give them advice on how to resolve their issue. Then when they leave, they apparently felt a bit better than when they came in. With this in mind, Judy thought that this place could help ease her pain. But she was still being cautious that someone will recognize her and get her kicked out.

After taking a deep breath she started walking slowly towards the bar, she only got to the front entrance when the feeling of home hit her. A small smile creeped on her face while she slowly opened the door. When she entered the bar, that comforting atmosphere that Nick explained to her years ago filled her with a lot of warmth and made her feel safe. She stood by the door for a while as she looked around the bar. Everywhere she looked she saw patrons either drinking with their friends, playing games like pool or cards or dancing on the dance floor. She slowly made her way to the counter to get herself a drink, a club soda would be a good idea to her instead of alcohol. While on her way she looked to her right and saw a performance stage with instruments like a drum set, two guitars, a piano, a sound system and karaoke machine with a microphone. Nick told her that The Red Serpent also has elements of a Karaoke Bar. So if anyone wanted to show off their skills they are welcomed to play one of the instruments that's available or they could sing a song if they want. When she arrived at the bar counter, she sat on an empty bar stool and waited for the barmammal who was busy serving another patron. During the wait she looked down at the counter letting the warm atmosphere wash over her, causing a small smile to form on her face. But the warm feeling was cut off when the barmammal spoke to her with a lot of venom in his voice.

"Well, well, well look at what came into my bar, The whore of foxes."

Judy felt her heart clench at that nickname, and the source of the voice. She knew who the voice belonged to, but she didn't bring herself to look up because she knew what to expect. Even though she's not looking up she could feel a very venomous glare boring into her, making her want to curl up in fear. Despite her mental objections, she looked up and was met with a scowl of a glare belonging to Gabriel Todd, the barmammal. He is a silver fox, who is wearing a light blue shirt with the bar logo on it and beige trousers. A few years ago, back when Nick first brought her to the bar he introduced her to Gabriel, who told her to call him Gabe. The bar was close to closing-time so it was just the three of them sharing stories and bonding over light drinks. Although that was Judys first met with Gabe, he quickly become a brother figure to her and a very caring one. He even said that if she had any troubles or wants some company, she can drop by.

Now however, the brother figure that she hoped to receive comfort from is not here anymore. Instead a very angry fox in his place. Considering the fact that her secret is out and the events after, she swallowed a lump in her throat and said in a shaky breath "Hi Gabe"

"That's Mr. Todd to you." Gabe said causing her to look back down again. A brief moment past before he asked calmly "Now what do you want?"

Judy took a a deep breath, as she looked back up, and replied with a strained smile "I was hoping to get a hug from you."

Gabe crossed his arms before saying, in a sarcastic tone "Oh sure, then before we know it. I end up dating you and get you pregnant, then you push me into leaving the apartment and sometime later you abort the kid. Then you replace me with a vixen, and say how your "Born to be Alive" when I just want your forgiveness and a second chance. Then you kick me out of the apartment and tell me to say away from you forever, right?!"

Judy was stunned by the accuracy of that statement. Every detail he gave mere moments ago happened exactly like he said it, even the last part that utterly breaks her soul. But it wouldn't surprise her that he knew. Considering that by now all of Zootopia knew what she had done but every time someone, even those that she was close with, reminded her of what has happened it makes the guilt, shame and hurt grow inside of her. She didn't respond to Gabe's sarcastic question, so he said, still in a cold tone "Nick told me what happened, then Jame's girlfriend filled in a few details from her side. So if you think you can waltz into my bar and expect me to hug you like nothing has happened, you are dead wrong rabbit!"

"C-Could I have a club soda, please?" Judy asked in defeat, losing yet another friend. Gabe didn't say anything to her instead he just left to go get her order. While she looked down in guilt, she felt someone was glaring at her. She chanced a glance to her left and confirmed her feelings. Two of the customers at the bar, a grey furred raccoon and an otter wearing matching blue t-shirts likely dating, were the ones staring daggers at her. After a brief moment of silence, Judy tried to say something to them but they both got up from their seats and moved to a vacant booth, with their drinks, away from her like she's a plague. As they were leaving the bar counter, she overheard the raccoon saying harshly.

"That fox whore has got some nerve coming here."

A short while after they left, Gabe came back with Judy's order. He placed it on a coaster, in front of her, and said calmly "Here you go rabbit."

"Thank you." Judy said softly

"Go ahead and drink it, I dare you." Gabe said coldly, causing Judy to give him a shocked expression before looking back at the glass in front of her. Thinking there might be something in it.

"Good evening everyone" Came a voice, over the microphone from the performance stage, causing everyone in the bar to look and see who it was. They all saw that it was Nick, wearing a purple t-shirt and beige pants. He had on a smile as he said "I hope you all are enjoying yourselves in this fantastic bar owned by my good friend Gabriel Todd." There was a small round of applause for Gabe when he made that comment. Nick then glanced in his direction and saw Judy is sitting there. Being able to hide his emotions, he acted like he didn't see her and continued by saying, turning back to the crowd "Anyway I'm sure you all know about what I've been through in the last year huh?"

"Yeah Nick for sure." A patron replied

"Hope you're doing fine Nick." Another patron replied more cheerful

"Thank you, I am." Nick said "Anywho, I've been thinking for a while that a lot of you have also been in similar cases. Where the mammal you loved with all your heart did something to betray you. So I'm here to sing a song to all of you. But if your not in that case, then I hope you enjoy yourselfs." Nick received a round of applause as he set the Mic down so he can select the song he decided to sing from the machine.

**[Shawn Mendes - Stitches]**

Nick started singing to this song in a soft tone. As he was singing the patrons were listening and some even had a smirk on their faces. Very few of the patrons even lip synced to the song. However Judy didn't do any of that. She just felt her heart sink further and the guilt and self-loathing grew inside, as she watched Nick sing. The worst part about Nick's singing is that it triggered a lot of bad memories to flash through her mind, and many of those memories involve Nick. Times when they fought, when they broke up, when he came back and she hurt him dearly. Not to mention the broken look on his face from their reunion a few months ago. When Nick reached the bridge part of the song, he took a moment to reach the scar on his right cheek and start to gently run his fingers along it as he continued singing. When he finished singing everyone in the bar clapped for his performance as he set the microphone down, then leave the performance stage.

Judy didn't clap at all. She wanted too but couldn't, because she was struggling in her mind with the bad memories constantly appearing. Then later the images of Nick's angry, sad and broken looks flashed as well. They made her want to curl into a ball of misery and cry. Her plan of coming to The Red Serpent and letting the warm atmosphere lift her spirits was ruined. She was only drawn away from her thoughts, and hallucinations, when two of the patrons made a comment about Nick.

"That Nick is quite a singer."

"He sure is."

When she heard those comments she looked up to see Nick standing by the stairs to the performance stage. He turned and made his way in the direction of the bar, where Judy was sitting. As she saw him coming closer, she could tell if he stood in front of her their conversation would be anything but calm. Even though he was still a few feet away from her, she could hear his angry voice from their reunion play in her mind and the image of his angry face flashing through her mind.

_"You refused to give me a second chance that night, and now you are here begging the same thing from me! What makes you think I'm going to give you a second chance, huh?!"_

_"All you deserve is nothing but pure savage contempt from me. To hell with you and your 'issue'. I will NEVER forgive you, Judy."_

_"Why don't you save your apologies for my child, that you killed for your career, Risen from the Dead." _

When the voices ended, there was one thing that was clear to her. Nick was not going to be happy to see her here, so she ran from the bar as fast as she could. But as she was running from the bar she heard Gabe, and a few patrons, shout "Hey" to her. When she was outside the bar tears started to stream down her face as she was washed with painful emotions that she felt a couple of weeks ago. She then started running back to her apartment, with Nick's singing going off in her head.

**End of Flashback.**

Both of those times were terrible for her. But not as bad as when she tried to go and visit her family in Bunnyburrow last week just to talk with her mom. It was a challenge to her because she wasn't welcomed at the homestead. But also all of her siblings, especially the little ones, were very hostile with her. Because they didn't get to see Nick for an entire year and six months, and many of them were very fond of the fox. So when she arrived the older siblings told her to leave while the little ones threw their toys at her. But one of the toys, that were thrown at her, made a small cut on her forehead, by her left eyebrow, and on the right corner of her lip. So she ran away from the homestead, but she made her way to the back where her mom was. She asked to talk with her for a moment, which Bonnie reluctantly agreed to. They had a small conversation in one of the barns where Judy learned a shocking truth that destroyed her reality, if it wasn't destroyed already. After learning this shocking news, she made her back to her apartment in Zootopia in an emotional mess.

Since then all of these events have caused her hallucinations to be as they are right now. But the minute that Nick came to her mind right now, she saw him sitting on her bed staring at her with a broken expression. Then his voice started to go off but it was the ones where he was in emotional pain because of her. She then tried to cover her ears and close her eyes trying to block the voices but it didn't help.

_"I missed you Judy, I missed you so much."_

_"Judy please give me one more chance! I can't live_

_without you!"_

_"YOU...you replaced me with another fox! A Female Fox!"_

_"Please Judy, I came here for you."_

"I hope your proud of yourself." Came an unknown voice, in a harsh tone, that broke her from her hallucinations.

She opened her eyes and looked around her room to find the source of the voice. She looked to her left to see an illusion of herself standing by her desk, giving her the same disdain look and crossed arms like her kit did. But there were certain differences between herself and the illusion. For one, the illusion didn't have any tear stains on her face or a cut on her forehead. But also the illusion looked like she is in good healthy. She was going to say something to her, but then her illusion beat her to it.

"Are you deaf or do I need to repeat myself?" Illusion Judy asked as Judy climbed off the bed.

"Who are you?" Judy asked in confusion

"Ever look in a mirror?" Illusion Judy retorted "I'm you, or rather the old you that Nick loved."

"I don't understand." Judy said still confused

"Well let me make it easier for you." Illusion Judy said as she took a step closer to her "You were just focused on your career. I always dreamed of being a police officer, but I never let it go to my head. You were concerned about bills being paid, I liked living here in this apartment so I can save more." Illusion Judy then started to look around as she continued "But I'm disappointed that you turned our old apartment into a dumb."

"Sorry." Judy said in a sad tone.

"Well you should be, because there are three key things that sets us apart." Illusion Judy said as she stood in front of Judy, invading her personal space "1) I'm a trier, whenever someone tells me my limits I would prove them wrong. You however are a quitter, and the prove is in the pudding because you're here practically giving up on our fox, like you did a year and a half ago. 2) You wanted to do things based on society, like back when you knew you liked Nick you said it would be the best option for the two of you if you just stayed friends even though you wanted more than that. I wanted him as my boyfriend."

"But I-" Judy started but was cut off

"No whatever excuse you have just save it!" Illusion Judy said "But here's the most important aspect, regarding the pregnancy. You focused on the negative part of it, I represent the part of you that thought about the positive side. So I say again, I hope you're proud of yourself!"

"Wh-What do mean?" Judy asked out of fear knowing what the answer could be.

"I mean you humiliated us with your idiotic choice!" Illusion Judy shouted while her volume rose as she continued "All of your fears about the pregnancy are nothing but irrational! But you believed in them anyway, and it has cost you everything!" After shouted that last part Judy took a step back and bumped into her while she look at her illusion, in fear, as she continued "And now you're here moping, not sure of what to do now, when the answer is simple: Go try and apologize to Nick again. Or are you to prideful to even do it."

"I'm sorry I really REALLY am." Judy said as she started to cry fresh tears. "And pushing Nick away is something I'm going to regret for the rest of my life."

"Oh sure you are, just like you regret having an abortion." Illusion Judy started

"I-"

"Or refusing to tell anyone about your sin and keeping it to yourself."

"I-"

"Or pushing away your own family and friends for your career."

"I'm-"

"Mommy" Came a familiar voice, and they both turned to see the kit standing by the door.

"Hey sweetie" Illusion Judy said calmly as she went to her kit and hugged him.

While the illusion was hugging her kit, Judy was staring in shock at the kits appearance. He would look normal whenever he appeared with Nick in her hallucinations. But when he is by himself he is disfigured, and glares at her with sharp daggers that penetrate her heart. Now he doesn't seem disfigured or angry, he looks normal and is calm even though she was there. A few seconds passed before Judy asked in a shaky breath "Wait, why is he looking normal right now?"

"Don't act like you don't know." Illusion Judy said as she turned around to glare at her as she continued "Nick already explained why he appears like he does, both normal and disfigured. So you don't forget that everything that has happened is your fault."

"Mommy." The kit said softly to get his mother's attention "Can we go to daddy now?"

"Of course sweetie." Illusion Judy replied to her son before turning to the other Judy and said in a harsh tone "See you around." After saying that, she vanished along with her son. When they vanished Judy looked at where they were standing for a moment. Then the same hallucinations and painful flashbacks played through her mind again. Even though she was by herself, she gritted her teeth and instead started to shed angry tears at the hallucinations she's been having for the past months.

"Okay, whoever is controlling Karma!" Judy shouted at nothing as her voice rose in volume, and slowly turning around as she continued "I get it, I don't need constant reminders! I already know that because of the stupidest choice I've ever made in my entire life! I lost all of my friends, my family, my reputation and the mammal I love! Not to mention caused a riot in the city! But I'm really sorry for causing all of this! So instead of reminding me, just tell me what to do!"

"I warned you didn't I?" Came an unknown voice breaking her from her venting.

Judy turned to see someone she thought she wasn't going to see again; Shay. She appeared wearing her work uniform and Judy took note of the stain on her right shoulder, the spot she said James was crying on. However when Judy made eye contacted with Shay, she was met with an intense disdain glare that is mixed with disappointment. Before Judy could say anything Shay beat her to when she said, in a harsh tone "I warned you what would happen if you're not careful. But you wouldn't listen, you just thought I was being a damn idiot."

"Shay listen I-" Judy started but was cut off

"Save it!" Shay shouted "Whatever excuse or explanation you have is a waste. But I should say that Nick was being a bit soft with you."

"What do you mean?" Judy asked, instantly regretting it.

"Well he said that you are the definition of a shameful coward." Shay replied "But what he should have said was what I said; that you are a Monster. Because that's all you are and you deserve to live like one, in isolation!" Shay then started to vanish in a blue light, and almost disappeared before shouting "Goodbye!"

"Shay wait!" Judy shouted but she was to late. When she was gone, Judy looked at where Shay was standing and thought about what she said. As much as she didn't want to admit it, she is a monster. Everything Nick and Shay said to her is true and she realized it to late. If her heart wasn't already broken from recent events than, it is right at this moment. She was about to cry again when her neighbors, Bucky and Pronk, went off on her.

"Jeez rabbit just go to your fox and apologize already!" Bucky shouted, annoyed at the rabbit.

"Leave her alone, she's just a shameful coward." Pronk said

"Man shut up."

"No you shut up!"

"No you shut up!"

"No you-"

"Both of you shut your DAMN mouths!" Judy shouted, at the top of her lungs, at her neighbors antics. After a few seconds passed and she calmed down a bit, she went down on her knees and started to cry again as the hallucinations happened again.

After a brief moment, she climbed back onto her bed and took out a gift from Nick, that she left in storage when they broke up but retrieved it sometime after her visit with her therapist, that she kept in her drawer and held it in her paws; a carrot locket. As she looked at the carrot locket, she remembered a very special time from it. Or rather the memory manifested itself as a ghoulish scene in front of her. When she looked up she felt tears welling up in her eyes. Right now it caused her emotional pain to even see it, because she messed it up.

**Flashback to two and a half years ago:**

Nick is in their bedroom wearing a yellow shirt and beige shorts and reaching into a drawer in a cupboard for something. He had just got it when the doe came into the room, wearing her pink flannel shirt and jeans, and startled him when she asked softly "What'cha got there Slick?"

Nick turned around and held the item he was looking for behind his back and put on a relaxed expression, but his ears were pressed to his skull and said, in a bit of a panicked tone "Oh, nothing Carrots."

Judy didn't buy the answer, instead she walked towards him and crossed her arms and glared at him. When she reached him she asked, in a tone that she uses when she interrogates criminals "Nick, you've been acting very differently today. You went to that one store by yourself and I saw you having a very pleasant conversation with that vixen about something. I don't know what it was but afterwards you were hugging that harpy, and not just a normal hug but a long hug like you loved her!" Judy's voice started to rise in volume as she continued "I thought you said that you loved me Nicholas! What the hell is going on and you better tell me everything!"

Nick was taken aback by her outburst, especially when she used his full name. Which usually means he is in trouble. He would have explained himself in a calm way, but then he remembered what she called the vixen he hugged. Not to mention he recognized the tone she just used on him, like he was a criminal who committed a serious crime. Something Officer Hopps would do. But the worst part to his interrogation, it seemed to him that she thinks he is cheating on her. He glared at her for a moment and said coldly.

"Okay, drop the tone Officer Hopps." Judy was taken aback by Nick's sudden tone, but before she could say anything he continued "That "harpy" you saw me hugging is my little sister, Rachel. She was helping me find a nice gift for you." Nick then took the item, a small box, that he hid behind his back and gave it to her "Here, Happy Anniversary Judith." After giving Judy her gift, Nick then left the bedroom.

Judy held the box that Nick handed to her for a moment. After hearing Nick's story she felt guilt well up inside, regretting that she accused Nick of cheating on her. But also remembering it was their Anniversary today. She was going to apologize for the accusations but then she saw Nick leaving the bedroom and moving towards the front door of their apartment.

"Nick wait, where are you going?" Judy asking in concern.

"I need sometime alone, or are you going to follow me again like you just did." Nick replied coldly as he got his keys from the bowl by the door. He opened the door and was about to leave but then he looked back at Judy, with the same glare, and said "By the way, my sister doesn't trust you. In fact, after the press conference, she said she had a gut feeling that you would break my heart and told me not to be in a relationship with you. But as of now she is starting to trust you." He waited a moment for a response from her. But when there was none he said "Think about it." Nick then left and closed the door behind him.

After he left Judy looked at the box in her paws for another moment wondering what Nick got her. She sat on the sofa in the living room and opened the box. She saw what looked like a carrot at first, but she took it out of the bow, then set the empty box aside, and saw that it's a carrot locket. She opened it and saw a picture of herself with Nick on the right side, on the left there is writing that made her heart sink with guilt over her recent actions.

_Judith "Carrots" Hopps my love_

_Time with you is never wasted._

_I love you so much and I will love _

_you for the rest of my life._

_Love your foxy, Nick_

After reading that message she closed the locket and looked at the door where Nick just left with a sad expression. Even though he is gone now she said, like he is there in front of her, in a soft tone, almost like a whisper "Nick I'm so sorry. Happy Anniversary to you too."

**End of Flashback...**

When the memory vanished she looked back at the locket in her paws and felt more tears streaming down her face. In a shaky breath she said "Nick I'm sorry. I'm really sorry for what I did to you...my fox. Please forgive me Nick." Judy then gently laid back on the wet pillow while clutching the locket close to her chest. The she let herself be pulled into the void of slumber.

0000

"Please forgive me Nick" Came an unknown voice in a sad tone.

"Huh?" Nick said as he suddenly woke up. He looked to his clock, on his nightstand, and saw the time in red 00:00AM. He turned away from his nightstand and grumbled "Ugh again!" as he got up and buried his face into his paws.

For the umpteenth time in a row Nick woke up in the middle of the night, at this exact time, to some unknown voice in his head pleading for forgiveness. He knew by the tone that it was Judy who was pleading for forgiveness. But he told her that he wouldn't forgive her. But ever since his reunion with her three weeks ago he's been hearing the same voice, asking the same thing, over and over like a broken record. It's caused him sleep problems and unfortunately Lara's as well.

"Lara, I'm sorry but it-" Nick started an apology while turning to the sleeping bunny in bed. But stopped when he saw that she wasn't there. "Lara?" Nick called out to her gently, so he doesn't wake the kids in the other room.

Nick got out of bed, in nothing but his green boxers and made his way out of the room into the adjacent hallway. He made his way to the kids bedroom, down the hall, thinking that Lara was probably there checking on the kids. When he arrived and opened the door slightly he saw the kids were still sound asleep, but Lara wasn't there. He gently closed the door and made his way over to the stair case and saw a light on in the dining room. He slowly went down the stairs and peaked around the corner to find Lara sitting at the table, wearing his ZPD shirt as a sleep shirt, with a cup of coffee and an envelope in front of her. Nick then sat on a chair close to her. When he sat down he saw tear stains on her face, like she was crying recently, and the envelope had been recently opened.

"Lara, what's wrong?" Nick asked, in a whisper, getting her attention. Lara didn't respond, instead she looked at him with a sad expression and pushed the envelope towards him. He picked it up and saw what was written on it "To: Lara Anderson From: Classified" He didn't have to ask because he had a good guess that it's from Michael.

"You can read it." Lara said softly. Nick looked at her for a moment, in disbelief at what she said, before pulling out a letter from the envelope. He unfolded the letter, while setting the envelope down, and read it out loud.

_Lara, my dearest bunny_

_I've been in Zootopia for two weeks now_

_safe and well. I had a plan to surprise you last week_

_But then I saw you with that other fox; Nicholas Wilde_

_It hurt me dearly to see you with another fox._

_You must have thought I was really dead, because_

_of how long I was away or what my superiors said, but I'm not._

_I did some digging and found out something. You_

_must have been taking care of him after what happened_

_between him and Judith Hopps. Does sound like something_

_that you would do. Anyway, Lara please we should have a_

_moment to talk. I'll be at the park we always go to on Saturdays._

_Please meet me there, if I still have a place in your heart._

_Your fox,_

_Mikey_

After reading the letter, it was clear to Nick that Michael is back and is reaching out to her for a chance. He set the letter aside, considering that it would be good news to Lara and she was shedding tears of joy over this. But when he looked up at her she was staring at her empty coffee cup in guilt. Nick had a bad feeling so he asked calmly.

"Lara is there something else I should know?"

"Yes." Lara replied as she pulled out a burner phone, that she was hiding underneath her leg, and placed the phone on the table.

Nick was stunned to see a burner phone. Because those are general used by criminals to stay in contact with their associates. Or federal agents that are working undercover. He reached for the phone and picked it up examining it. He pressed the power button and the phone screen switched on and he saw a message from Michael saying "I love U". This must mean one thing; Lara has been in contact with Michael for an unknown time. His brain was telling him that he should feel anger or betrayal of trust but he didn't. Instead he asked Lara gently "Where did you get this? How long have you been in contact with him? And when were you going to tell me?"

Lara drew a shaky breath before she said, while her head lowered "When Michael first went undercover, he got a hold of two burner phones so we can stay in contact with each other. I've been messaging him for the past few days about recent events. I was going to tell you that I had a burn phone but I was worried that you would feel that I was stabbing you in the back like you-know-who."

Nick knew who Lara was referring to when she said that last part. He said in a calm tone. "Lara look at me." Nick then set the phone down while Lara looked at him. "I'm not angry with you. I get it, you love your husband dearly and you miss him a lot. So reaching out to him is something that would make sense, like how you did it. I just wish you told me sooner."

"I'm sorry." Lara said lowering her head. Causing Nick to get up from his chair and go to her, pulling her into a tight embrace as she quietly sobbed into his chest and he patted her head gently. After a while, when she calmed down, she said softly "There is actually more I need to tell you."

"What?" Nick asked.

"I told him some things about you and about the agreement of our relationship." Lara replied "I also told him that we would be together with a few others for a picnic tomorrow. He said he would like to meet you then."

"Oh okay." Nick said before he asked with a bit out of fear "He's not going to kill me is he?"

"No, of course not." Lara replied, while snickering a bit, before her tone changed to serious when she said "But what about you? If I go back to Michael what are you going to do?"

"Really, your husband is practically knocking on our door for you and you're worried about me?" Nick asked with a bit of sarcasm

"Nick." Lara replied while breaking the hug and giving him a serious expression "Please be serious. What are you going to do?"

Nick looked at Lara for a moment with an equally serious expression that slowly crumbled into a defeated one. He moved back to his chair and took a deep breath before he said. "Well, there is something I've been thinking about for a while now."

"What is it?" Lara asked as she sat down close to him.

"*sigh* After everything that has happened between me and Judy, and how I felt so destroyed inside afterwards." Nick replied than looked at Lara with a soft expression "After you and Mike get back together. I'm going to be taking a step back from relationships."

"Are you serious?" Lara asked in shock, with a concerned expression, at what she was just told while placing her paw on top of his.

"I am." Nick replied "I'm going to take sometime to myself and re-evaluate my love life. I will be fine Lara, don't worry."

"Are you sure?" Lara asked while removing her paw from his "Because after your encounter with Judy, three weeks ago, I've had a feeling that maybe deep down you still love her."

"Now what gave you that idea?" Nick asked as he raised his right eyebrow.

"*Please forgive me Nick* The same words that kept playing in your head for the last three weeks." Lara replied "Also, after what Adam told me and seeing it happen, you did the same thing she did to you months ago that's just petty revenge. I'd say there is a part of you that still loves her despite everything that has happened, and it's trying to reach out to her but your being stubborn about it."

"That's just nonsense." Nick said

"Oh really." Lara said as she crossed her arms "Then why don't you come up with a reason as to why you keep waking up at midnight on the dot to that voice."

Nick attempted the challenge by crossing his arms and thinking really hard. While he was thinking he looked back and forth between Lara and the table. Trying his best he couldn't think of any other reason than what Lara said moments ago. But the times when he looked at Lara made his heart beat a bit faster. Before he knew it, tears started to well up in his eyes because it was clear to him that he still loved Judy. After sighing in defeat Nick felt a pair of arms wrapped around his neck and something pressed to his right cheek. It was Lara hugging and nuzzling him. They stayed like this in silence for a while before Lara said softly.

"Nick, I don't want to make you upset or anything. I just want you to be honest with me." Lara then took her head away from Nick's cheek and guided his head towards her with her paw. He made eye contact with her before she asked. "Do you still have a place for Judy in your heart?"

Nick looked at Lara for a second with a sad expression before he looked down and said. "Okay, okay yes I do. I still love Judy." He looked back up to be met with a soft expression from Lara and he felt tears rolling down his face as he said. "Lara that's my Confession: a part of me still loves Judith Hopps."

"Then why were you so harsh to her?" Lara asked as she wiped his tears with her paw.

"Because I kept telling myself that the Judy I loved died when my kit was aborted. I also had to tell her what she did and what she could have done differently." Nick replied while sobbing and he started to get upset. "But also because of what she called me behind my back. It seemed only right to me to give her a piece of my mind."

"I get that." Lara said breaking Nick from his thoughts "But that doesn't mean that she is gone for good." Lara then got up to take the empty coffee cup to the kitchen sink. She came back from the kitchen and placed her paw on his cheek and said "Just give it time I'm sure that things will get better for you two. But it is your call, of course."

"Well, I have already made up my mind to not go back to her." Nick said as he got up and faced her. "I'm not going to make promises but when I re-evaluate my love life, I might reconsider. Oh, and I didn't treat her the same way out of petty revenge there is a reason behind it. But I'll tell you another time, okay."

"Come on, let's go back to bed Nick." Lara said as she started to leave but was halted by Nick when he said "Lara wait." Causing her to stop in her tracks and turn around to look at him.

"On the matter of you and Mike." Nick said as he made his way over to her. "We're still going to be friends right?" When he asked that question he didn't get an answer. Instead he received a small smile and she beckoned him to lean down. Then she gave him a peck on his forehead.

"Of course we will, Slick." Lara said as she gently rubbed Nick's scar. They both locked eyes for a brief moment while giving each other a warm smile before Nick picked her up in a bridal style and started walking back upstairs to their bedroom. Causing Lara to ask with a slight chuckle. "What are you doing?"

"Well if this is my last night to be your handsome fox. At least let me end it in style." Nick said with his usual smug tone.

"Okay, but one problem." Lara said getting his attention when they were at the top of the stair case. "Michael is my handsome fox. You are my dorky fox."

"A dorky fox?" Nick gasped as he gently set Lara down on the ground and gave her his best sad expression "Madam after everything we've been through together, and all the love that I gave you and your little boy. I'm nothing but a dorky fox to you?" Lara crossed her arms and had a smirk on her face as he continued "How could you be so cruel to me? Why? What did I do to deserve such cruelty?" He didn't get an answer, instead he yelped when Lara gave him a hard smack on his butt.

"You and your antics is why I say you're a dorky fox." Lara said as she went into the bedroom with Nick following her. When they came inside Nick gently closed the door behind them while Lara stood in the center of the room. She thought about what he said about their last night together, so she decided to do the same. She knew what she is about to do is not the right way to do it, but it was her choice.

"Lara you okay?" Nick asked noting that she didn't move an inch when she was standing still for a while.

"Yeah, I just want to make myself comfortable for tonight." Lara replied as she removed Nick's shirt and revealed that she was naked underneath it. When the shirt was off, she tossed it to the floor and she let her snow white fur be on display to the fox behind her. Not to mention her tail was shaking in a teasing way at him. She turned around to see Nick staring at her, or more like staring at her rear. In a seductive tone she asked, while going to the bed "What's wrong foxy, have you never seen a naked bunny before?"

"No...wait, I mean I." Nick reacted as he saw Lara lying on her side and grinning at him "I mean, it's kind of easy to forget that you sleep naked." Nick mentally smacked himself for saying that last part out loud. He expected something to be thrown at him for saying it, but instead Lara gestured him to come closer to her and to take his boxers off. Nick complied with her silent request and tossed his boxers right where Lara left his shirt. When Nick stood by the bed, he gave her a sly grin for a moment before he slowly crawled onto the bed towards her. He towered over her and they both gave each other a warm smile which lasted a few seconds before the silence is broken.

"You are such a dork." Lara said as she placed her paw on Nick's check and he did the same.

"Just this once I will give you that." Nick said as he leaned down and passionately kissed her on her lips.

**The Next Day...**

A new day usually brings something new or different than the previous day. But unfortunately that isn't the case for Judy. Because everyday it was the same thing with everyone giving her a disdain look and she has her hallucinations more often than she wants. Her spirits had been so dampened because of the events from the previous three weeks that she called in sick. She decided to go to a park, a couple of blocks away from her apartment, and sit on a bench to breath in the fresh air, but that wasn't a good move on her part. Because today, with the cool weather, there were a lot of families and couples also enjoying the fresh air. But when she looked around she saw that most of the families present were inters, same with the couples and same-sex couples at the park. But the ones who had kids with them sent daggers into her heart.

She got up and was going to leave when she heard what sounded like a kit wailing. She looked in that direction and made her way over but took cover behind a tree, to prevent someone seeing her. She peeked around to see what she dreaded to see; Nick was having a picnic with Lara, MJ, Josh, Skye, Rachel, Jack, Adam, Nadine, Shay, James and Finnick. She also saw her brother Jared and another vixen, she didn't know who, with them. She felt tears welling up when she looked closer and found out what was making the kit wail earlier. MJ was lying on his back because Nick was towering over him and giving him the tickle torture.

"You little fiend." Nick said playfully as he continued tickling the kit "You get a special visit from the tickle monster, for trying to get the blueberries! Now you shall pay for your crime!"

"Hahaha! Mommy help!" MJ cried out to his mother, unable to bear the tickle torture.

"Alright Nick I think he's had enough." Lara said as she taped his shoulder to get him to stop. As soon as Nick stopped MJ got up and ran to his mom, still in a bit of a giggle fit. Lara pulled her kit into a warm hug as she said "There now, mommy's here to keep the tickle monster away." After she said that she grinned at Nick.

After seeing this scene Judy sat down on the ground and buried her face into her knees. Seeing Nick so happy like this is something she hasn't seen before.

"And that happiness is something we could've had had you given our pregnancy a chance." Illusion Judy said as she appeared in front of her. She then sat next Judy and glared at her for a moment before she asked "Are you really not going to do anything?"

"What am I supposed to do?" Judy asked in a defeated tone as she slowly raised her head to look at her "He said he didn't want to see me anywhere near him or his family, and if I go over there he's going to chase me away."

"Well, there might be some hope for you." Illusion Judy said in a calm tone

"What do you-" Judy started but was cut off by an excited kit

"DADDY!" MJ shouted. Causing both Judys to get up and see who he was shouting at. They saw MJ running towards a black furred fox, who is wearing a light blue shirt with blue jeans, going down on his knees as if to catch the running tod. He did catch the little kit, and he pulled MJ into a tight hug as the little kit then started to cry.

"Is that-?" Judy was about to ask but was cut off by her illusion self

"Yep." Illusion Judy replied confidently "That's Michael Anderson alright, little Mike's daddy and you know who's husband." After she said that, they both saw Mike picking up his son and walking towards the group with the picnic. They saw Lara covering her mouth with her paw and staring at the approaching fox. After a few seconds she ran towards Mike and was pulled into the group hug with her husband and son. That warm scene was then questioned by the other mammals in the group as they turned to Nick who turned to them and started answering their questions, while illusion Judy said.

"Now is your chance."

"What?" Judy asked

"Go over there and apologize to Nick." Illusion Judy replied in confidence

"I can't, if I go over there he's going to chase me away." Judy said with her head down.

"This might be your last chance to do it, so go." Illusion Judy said putting pressure on her.

"Okay, I'll go." Judy said as she stood up and looked at Nick from the side for a moment. She couldn't help herself to smile at him and place her paw on her chest where the carrot locket is. She took one step forward then Nick's harsh voice played through her mind, along with his angry glare, freezing her in place.

_"Why don't you save your apologies for my child, that you killed for your career, Risen from the Dead." _

When it past she took that same step backwards and sat back down on the ground and buried her face in her knees again. But this time she felt a disdain look boring into her from her illusion self who said in a harsh tone "You are pathetic!" She would have said more but was cut off by her kit

"Mommy!" The Kit shouted getting their attention. Both Judys turned to their right to see the little kit from Judy's hallucinations standing there, looking normal, with a big smile and holding two ice-cream cones, one blueberry and one vanilla. Illusion Judy then got up and gave her kit a soft smile as she asked "Which one is mine sweetie?"

"This one mommy." The kit said as he handed his mom the vanilla ice-cream. As soon as she took it and took one lick of the vanilla ice-cram the kit continued "Mommy come on daddy is waiting for us over there." He turned around to point at the red fox who's approaching them from a few feet away, with his own ice-cream cone.

"Okay let's go." Illusion Judy said as she held the kits paw, and they started to walk when the stopped by the other Judy when she shouted "Wait!" and they turned around to her.

"What must I do about Nick? I don't know what to do." Judy asked hastily

"You already made your decision a year ago. So enjoy the life that you wanted." Illusion Judy said as the illusion of Nick appeared behind her and all three of them vanished in a blue light, leaving Judy all by herself. As soon as they left Judy felt more tears welling up and was about to shed them, but a song was playing that she recognized "**Shawn Mendes - Treat You Better**" She knew that it was a song that Mike sang to Lara, and three weeks ago when she went to see Nick. She sang it with different lyrics to Nick, but that image of Lara singing it to Nick appeared in her mind and with a feeling of dread. She peeked around the tree to see that most of them were dancing to it. But the worst part was when she saw Nick also dancing and having a good time.

Judy was unable to bear the sight anymore so she started to leave the park. But when she was passed the tree she chanced a glance at the group and made a brief eye contact with Nick. Afterwards she went back to slowly leaving the park with her head down in guilt and self-loathing. When she was outside the park she heard an applause behind her, like someone proposed and it was a yes. She feared someone proposed to Nick and he accepted. Just the thought alone caused her to run back to her apartment in tears.

**Two Days Later.**

Leroy Bogo is a mammal that takes his job as Chief of Precinct one very seriously. He has worked as Chief for several years and he dealt with insubordination with, as some would say, an iron fist. But never before had he faced insubordination as serious as that of Judith Hopps, with actions that she has caused. If things were like they were before in his precinct, and considering her position back then. He would have given her parking duty for a month, maybe even longer. But it isn't the case and he has an appointment with her at 10:00am. He sat at his desk and looked at the file that had all the items he needed to discuss with her. After a moment he looked at his watch and it read 09:55. If he had his way, he would have given one of his lieutenants the file and have them discuss it with her, while he was spending the day with his wife. However the matter was too important to take lightly. He was pulled out of his thoughts when there was a knock on his door.

"Enter" Bogo said as he set the file aside. When the door opened he saw Judy coming in with her uniform on but it's wrinkled a bit and her fur is a mess. He also saw bags under her eyes. "Hopps you look like death. What's happened to you?"

"Sir I-I haven't been sleeping well in months." Judy replied while closing the door. "You wanted to see me?"

"Yes, have a seat." Bogo replied as he motioned for the chair in front of his desk. He watched as she slowly made her way over to the chair, thinking it's her insomnia. When she was seated he opened the file and slid a picture towards her while asking "Do you know who that is?"

Judy picked up the picture and saw that it's a picture of James Wolford. Even though it was just an image of him, it caused his disdain look to flash through her mind. She steeled herself from the picture to look back at her boss and replied "Yes, Officer Wolford."

"Correct." Bogo said as he took the picture back and set it aside while continues "One of the finest Officers I had in my Precinct in years."

"Had?" Judy asked already knowing the answer, but also fearing it being said.

"Yes, Had." Bogo replied in a stern tone "Because he's transferring to the precinct in Tundra Town, along with Miss O'Shea. They both claim inability to work here with you."

After he said that Judy looked down in guilt, not by the part of James transferring to another precinct. But because the precinct has lost another good Officer and one of the Commissioners has been breathing down Bogos neck about it. Which has made him a lot more annoyed with her. She was going to say something about the news she was given, but Bogo beat her to it when he said "But on the matter of Miss O'Shea, she was the best mechanic we've had here at this Precinct in years. Fixing our patrol cars, that have been having problems, a lot more quicker than the previous mechanic that we had. But she's gone thanks to you. Do you have anything to say?"

Unfortunately Judy didn't have anything to say at the moment, because she hallucinated again. This time James appeared directly in her face, like he did three weeks ago with the same hostility.

"Stay away from Nick or else got it."

When the hallucination ended Judy realized that this is what James meant when he said "or else". He was planning to transfer to another precinct leaving her to deal with Bogos anger. At any other time she would be angry with her co-worker, but James was a friend of hers before all of this and it made her really sad. Luckily she remembered that she is in her boss's office otherwise, with the 'issue' that she has, she would burst into tears. After taking a deep breath she said in a shaky tone, even though she is receiving an intimidating glare "Sir, I-I didn't mean for this to happen."

"Just Wolford leaving?" Bogo asked as he retrieved a few more pictures and placed them on the desk "Or is it also like these officers leaving?" Bogo placed the pictures of the following Officers: Fangmeyer, Higgins, Delgato, Pennington, Snarlov, Grizzoli and McHorn before he continued "All of them have been working at this Precinct longer than you have, with their own traits that have solved a lot of complex cases. But now they're gone thanks to you, and the Commissioners have been asking me; why am I letting you stay on the force."

"But sir-" Judy started but was cut off

"No buts Hopps." Bogo said stopping her "But this Precinct losing it's best officers isn't the only matter that has my attention. I received a phone call from Dr. Monroe saying that you haven't pitched for any of your appointments in the last 4 months, or collected any prescribed medication in that same time period. Care to explain yourself?"

"But I did collect my prescriptions and made it to my appointments." Judy stuttered.

"Are you saying that Dr. Monroe is a liar?" Bogo asked rhetorically, not getting an answer. He glared at her for a minute longer before he continued "Considering what Dr. Monroe said, about your lack of attendance and mental health, he says that your not cleared for active duty."

"But-" Judy started, but was again cut off.

"Not another word Hopps." Bogo said losing his patience "The last matter that has brought you here, aside from the mentioned ones, is your insubordination. I gave you a direct order not to make contact with Wilde. But I have a report from the Officers in Tundra Town, and the Chief of their precinct acknowledged it, saying that you physically assaulted Wilde and then sexually harassed him after."

"Sir I never did that!" Judy defended "Someone at that precinct made a false accusation against me. I only talked with him, I never made a physically assault on him I swear."

"Is there anyone who could vouch for you?" Bogo asked as Judy shoke her head no "Well if the report of your physically assault and harassment wasn't enough. An anonymous individual is filing a charge against you for committing Domestic Violence against Nicholas Wilde."

Judy was going to explain herself, but couldn't do it. Because she remembered that she did assault Nick, but it was from a different time when they broke up. Back then was when all of this started and the worst part is that she slapped him so hard he fell to the floor and knocked a coffee table over. Not to mention also having a scar on his cheek. But she also remembered that Adam did suggest to Nick that he file for a Domestic Violence charge, which means that he must have done it while being anonymous. In a shaky breath Judy tried to explain "Sir I swear I never-"

"Enough!" Bogo shouted as he got up from his chair and started walking around it towards Judy as he continued in a stern tone "Making our Precinct lose it's best officers, a poor psych evaluation, insubordination and assaulting your fellow Officers of the Law. Clearly parking duty until further notice isn't punishment enough. So let me ask, what do you think I should do with you?"

Judy mulled that question over in her mind for a bit. She knew that Bogo is right that parking duty until further notice isn't much of a punishment for what she has done. He could suspend her for a certain amount of time, but unfortunately he did it already. Which means one thing is clear, he would fire her. Realizing this, thinking he probably knew the answer already, she looked at her boss and said in a pleading tone "Please Chief, this job is all I have left. Don't fire me I'm really sorry I'll-"

"Your badge Hopps, your fired!" Bogo said, ignoring her plea, as he held out his hoof in front of her "Until the charges are dropped and your therapist has a better evaluation of you. I don't want to see you in my precinct again! Now hand over your badge, don't make me ask again!"

Judy stared at Bogo for a moment, as the reality truly sets in that she is no longer the Bunny she was when she first came to Zootopia. As well as the reality that she actually lost everything that she cherished in her life. She moved to remove her badge from her uniform but before she gave it to Bogo she held it in her paws and looked at it, with a sad expression, as a hallucination of Nick occurred

_"If you recall when Chief Buffalo Butt was going to take away your badge, during the missing mammals case, I was the only one out of everyone there who talked him into not doing that. No one else did it, just me or did you forget?"_

When it passed, tears started to stream down her face as she handed her badge over to her boss. But the minute she did she bolted out the office in an emotional mess as she ran all the way back to her apartment. She ran as fast as she could, she bumped into mammals that got in her way. When she got to her apartment she ran in and took her uniform off in a hurry then tossed it onto her desk chair. Then when she was in nothing but her underwear she climbed onto her bed and buried her face into her pillow and started bawling. While she was bawling, she said in a cracked tone

"I'm really sorry Nick! You were right about everything! Please forgive me!"

AN{ DUN DUN DUN! Judy has now lost everything. Lara is reunited with her husband. But the question is: Who made the proposal and to whom was it meant for? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE Review. Next time on Risen from the Dead: It's Nick's day off and we see what he is up to now.

side note: This chapter is inspired by the song "Linkin Park - By Myself"

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subscribe to my page. Every little bit helps.


	6. Chapter 6

**Huge apologies for such a long hyatus for this update. I was going back and forth between an art block and a writer's block. But now I have this chapter ready for you guys to read. So I hope you like it. Quick Warning: This is a Long Read**

**Chapter 6: Flashbacks 2**

Disclamer:I do not own Zootopia or any of it's characters, they all belong to Disney. I also don't own any other content that get's mentioned. Rated T for Dark

It's a peacefully spring morning in Zootopia. Despite the time being 6:AM many mammals would be up and going about their business. Many of them would be enjoying themselves with breakfast either with their significant other or with other members of their family to start the day. Some would take some time to go for a jog to stay in top shape, either with a friend or by themselves, before the beginning of their work day. Very few mammals would even sleep in on a day like today, because it would be their day off. Which is the case for one fox in particular, Nick Wilde. Even though it's his day off and he's sleeping peacefully in his bed the sun was seeping into his bedroom through the blinds, like a warm summer breeze, piercing him in his eyes. He turned around to escape from the suns rays, and he would have been pulled back into the void of slumber if it wasn't for his alarm that went off just now. His alarm was going on for a few seconds before Nick propped himself up and reach for the alarm.

"Alright, alright. I'm awake! You can stop shouting at me!" Nick shouted groggily while turning his alarm off.

After he turned his alarm off, he slowly got up and sat on the edge of his bed. He rubbed his eyes for a moment, trying to remove the sleep from them, then he looked behind him to find that no-one is there, which made him feel a bit sad. But then he remembered why, he helped Lara move her stuff back into her house a few days after Michael came back.

**Flashback to three days ago:**

It's four in the afternoon now, and Nick is bringing another box back to the Anderson house. Which was a ten minute walk from his own place. As he was walking he thought back to when she moved in with him. She only packed half of both her stuff and MJ's stuff, saying that she will move it back to her home when her husband comes back. Now that he has, everything of her's is going back. Upon arriving at the Anderson home with the box, he set it down on top of the stair case and saw Mike and Lara coming towards him with the little ones Josh, Skye and MJ. Lara pulled him into an embrace and said "Thank you for your help Nick."

"No problem Lara." Nick said with a smile.

After a moment they broke their hug and Mike walked up to Nick and placed his paw on Nick's shoulder, to get his attention, and said "Seriously I can't thank you enough for taking care of my bunny and my son."

"Don't mention it, besides if the shoe was on the other foot you would have done the same thing for me." Nick said earning him another hug. This time from Mike as a "yes".

While looking at the two foxes hugging, Lara thought to herself that this is just sweet. She remembered back when they first met at the park, at first it seemed that they were probably going to start a fight over her. But instead they got along like they've been friends for years, and it did warm her heart that they are friends. She was broken from her thoughts when she saw Jared coming with another box.

"Hey Jared, could you leave that one over her?" Lara asked pointing to the opened front door. While the two foxes broke their hug.

"Okay sure." Jared replied as carried the box to where Lara pointed. After he placed the box in the spot that Lara pointed to, he dusted his paws and said confidently "Well, that's the last of it."

"Thank you for your help J." Lara said while hugging Jared

"Your welcome." Jared said reciprocating the hug.

"Alright kids it's time to go home. Say bye to Lara, Mike and MJ." Nick said to Josh and Skye, while Lara broke her hug with Jared.

"Okay." Both the kids said as they did as they were told.

"You kids are welcomed here for playdates." Mike said earning him a few cheers from the kids.

Shortly after saying their goodbyes. Nick picked up Skye while Jared held onto Josh's paw as the four of them started making their way home. On the way home they turned around, for a moment, to wave a last goodbye to the reunited family behind them. Along the way Nick let out a soft sigh that didn't go unnoticed by Jared who asked "You okay Nick?"

"Yeah" Nick said with a sigh "I mean I am happy for Lara that she has her husband back, but if I'm being honest I'm going to miss her."

"It will be okay Slick." Jared said as he held Nick's paw and give it a tight grip, and gave him a warm smile which he returned. In a little while the four of them arrived home and when they went inside Nick set Skye down on the ground then noticed that she had a sad expression on so he asked her softly.

"Snowball what's wrong?"

"Daddy, will we have a mommy someday?" Skye asked, referring to herself and her brother, while giving her dad big sad eyes.

"I don't know snowball, but we'll see." Nick said as he pulled his daughter into a hug.

**End of Flashback**

Even though that was just an innocent question, he's been going over it in his mind a few times. But each time he did, part of his mind would go to Judy, but that wasn't going to happen. However it made his heart sink because he would have to tell his Snowball that it's not likely that she and her brother would have a mom. But then he looked at his night stand and saw he had a note. He picked it up and saw that it was from Jared. He unfolded the note and began to read it:

_Hey Nicky, The kids are away, and I left your _

_breakfast on the stove to keep it warm. I hope _

_you enjoy your day-off call me if you need anything._

_Love J_

_P.S I enjoyed my foxy milk this morning, especially _

_the cute moans that came with it._

_Love you hun ;)_

He set the note back on his nightstand and went over the last part in his mind before it dawned on him that he is naked. Evident by the morning wood he has right now. He had a small smile because he was thinking about how sneaky Jared has been lately. But also he looked at his right paw to see a promise ring in silver with half a heart diamond on it. He knew Jared had the other one since he asked him to be his boyfriend causing Nick to think.

"So much for taking a step back from relationships."

Nick got up from his bed to get his boxers, that were placed underneath his pillow. After he placed them on he started to go to the bathroom to brush his teeth and while he was doing that he started to go down memory lane of himself and Jared.

When they first met years ago it was at Judy's home in Bunnyburrow, back when they were together. Judy told all of her siblings that he was gay and her partner on the force. That was hurtful to Nick because he wanted to tell the truth, but felt it only right that she did it. He shortly met Jared soon after at one of their visits, when most of her other gay and bisexual brothers tried to hit on him. They became friends then but as time went on he and Nick got along really well. Jared even tried asking Nick on a date, one time, in front of Judy. He was turned down when Nick explained that he was dating Judy and she was lying about him being gay. Which caused a lot of drama between the three of them. One time when Jared was very upset about his failed attempt to ask Nick out on a date. Nick was there to comfort him and they both agreed to be friends. But when Nick and Judy broke up for that one year, their friendship changed to that of a friends-with-benefits deal after a night out. However when he visited one time a few months ago, Jared admitted to him that he had feelings for him since the day they met. Lara caught on to them and Nick explained the full story to her. After a while she said that, as long as he is okay with it, Nick could date them both. Even though Nick said he wasn't sure about it, he eventually started dating Jared and Lara until Michael came back a couple of days ago. As if on cue then, Jared asked Nick to be his boyfriend and he asked the question with those promise rings that they got from a friend.

When the memory lane ended, Nick exited the bathroom and looked at his ring in amusement while an image of Jared smirking flashed through his mind. He knew that he had a thing for bunnies, he always thought it would be for does but now he has a buck with him and he smiled at that. He went down stairs and made his way to the kitchen to get his breakfast like Jared said in the note. He saw that it was omelettes and a slice of toast. He carefully placed his breakfast on a plate and got himself a glass of orange juice. As he sat down and ate his breakfast he wondered why the house was quiet but then he remembered that the kids were at school and daycare. But they will be at his moms place for today, and they will come home around 5PM. With that in mind he did make a call yesterday, to hangout with his friends later today. But after a while he started to contemplate again about a mommy but then all of a sudden he started to think of Judy. He remembered what Lara told him about giving things between them time, but he already made up his mind about her. However her broken face flashed through his mind and he remembered seeing it on James's face. When Nick finished his breakfast he took the dishes to the kitchen sink and cleaned them, but while he was cleaning them a thought came to mind. But it's one he thought he wouldn't have right now.

"I wonder what Judy is up to now, and if she is okay." He thought but then there came a knock on his door. He was on his way to answer it. However he was still in nothing but his boxers, so he shouted "Just a minute!"

"Nick it's me!" Came a voice behind the door. Knowing who it was he went to open the door, only slightly, and was meet with Alexis Foxtrot, an African tan fox with brown eyes, who is wearing gym clothes, that consisted of a blue tank top and light brown shorts, likely was going for a run and he saw that she was holding a small box in her paw.

"Hey Lexi." Nick said as he opened the door a bit more. But stood behind the door to hide his almost naked body.

"Hey Nicky." Lexi said with a smirk "This came for you at the gate." She held out the box to him before she continued "You can come out you know, I won't look."

Nick complied and slowly emerged from behind the door and stood in-front of her, while blushing slightly at being exposed. He looked at the box in her paw, with a curious expression before he asked "Who is it from?"

"It's from your bunny." Lexi replied cheerfully handing the box to Nick "Here you go."

Nick held the box in his paw taking note of how light it is. Thinking it's probably something small, but what caught his attention was an envelope that is attached to it. But what was written on the envelope made his eyes widen a bit, in surprise. It read To: Nicholas Wilde from: Jared Hopps. He would have been flattered but he recognized the hand writing belonging to Judy. He stared at the envelope for a little while, wondering what Judy sent, before Lexi asked "Aren't you going to open it?"

"I will, but in a little while." Nick replied before he looked back at her "You going for a run?"

"Of course." Lexi replied "I mean most of us need to be in shape, like a certain Lieutenant."

"Right." Nick said with a smirk on his face. "Anyway, I'll see you later Lexi."

"Okay, see you Nick." Lexi said as she was about to turn to leave, but stopped herself as she said "Oh and Nick, even though it's your day off. You shouldn't walk around in your underwear, unless you plan to flash yourself to everyone."

"Lexi, I just woke up a while ago." Nick retorted at the comment she made.

"Relax I'm just teasing you." Lexi giggled as she gave Nick a hug "See you later."

She turned around and started her jog away from him. Nick stared at Lexi jogging for while before he closed the door and retreated to the living room. He sat on the sofa and looked at the box again, still wondering what Judy sent him. Part of him said that he should just toss it in the trash. But the other part, that still cared about her, told him to open it. He went back and forth for a bit, but eventually curiosity won over and he untied the envelope from the box. He set the box on the sofa seat next to him and opened the envelope to see a letter. He unfolded it and took note of stains on the piece of paper before he started to read it out loud:

_Dear Nick,_

_I know it's been a few weeks now and you don't want to hear from me. But I miss you so much, more than anyone actually. There was something I should have told you when we met weeks ago. The issue I told you that I had: It's a mental health issue. I keep seeing things and hearing voices. The voices being from all of the arguments I have had. But I don't mean for you to pity me however, but this has been going on for months and aside from my foolish pride. I have lost all of the things I cherished in my life, like you. But again I don't mean for you to pity me, I just thought you deserve to know since I did stab you in your back seven months ago. I don't know if your still with Lara, but if you are then I hope that she makes you very happy. I hope she let's you sleep an extra 5 minutes in the mornings when you're being a sleepy fox. I hope she knows you deserve the world after the horrible things that have happened to you. I know you won't come back to me, and I accept that. Because I know you'll be okay, since you're a survivor. But I just want to say, I'm really sorry for hurting you like I did. Please know that you will always have a place in my heart._

_Love Judy._

_P.S Don't mind the stains on this letter, those are just my tears_

_P.S 2 In case you're wondering, those are blueberries from the city. I know you really love the ones from the Hopps homestead but I couldn't get any this time. Hope you can enjoy them at least._

When he finished reading the letter, he set it down next to the box. Then the feeling of guilt weighed heavily on his heart. He remembered back at the park he saw her and made eye contact. But when he looked into her eyes, all he saw was intense guilt, self-loathing and shame. Now that he knows that her mental health issues are worse, he feels the part of him that cared for her crying. Which caused tears to well up in his eyes, and start to stream down his face.

"Oh Judy, I'm sorry" Nick said feeling Judy's pain.

After a moment past, he wiped the tears from his face then looked at the box to his right and considering what he just read. He picked it up and opened it using one of his claws. When it was opened he pulled out the contents of the box. A sealed bag of blueberries, and there is only a hand full. He counted about six blueberries in the sealed bag. He looked at the bag for a moment before he opened it and took out one of the blueberries and placed it in his mouth and started to chew on it. But as he chewed it turned out Judy is right, that these are blueberries you could get here in Zootopia for 5$ a bag. But the cost isn't the concern but the taste is. He had gotten his share of blueberries from the Hopps homestead and, to him, those ones are the definition of delicious. These however didn't have that same delicious and loving taste.

"This is not the same." Nick said, referring to the time when he shared blueberries with Judy at her home.

AN{ Hey guys, huge apologies for interrupting your reading. But I strongly recommend that you listen to the whole of "A Great Big World - Say Something" while browsing WildeHopps artwork. Both Platonic and Romantic, it's regarding the WildeHopps memory lane.}

As soon as Nick said that, he started going down a memory lane of himself and Judy. The day they first met was when he did one of his hustles, then sometime later he joined the ZPD. From there he had such a good time with Judy, both on the job and off-duty. Even though they were friends they both developed feelings for each other. But Nick expressed his, while Judy denied hers. They had rough arguments about their feelings and how they interact in public. It went on for a while, but they started dating eventually. When they were together things seemed so great, except for the fact that they had to act as close friends at work and in public, per Judys request. Even though this "just-friends" arrangement has been going on for months, Nick held on to the hope that things would change for them both. After he did a lot of thinking and spending a lot of time with her. Nick saw her as his soulmate and he was going to spend the rest of his life with her and they could have a family at some point in the future, even if they couldn't have biological children of their own. But all of that went to flames when she chose her career over him, and aborted their biological child. However despite that time and recent events, part of him still loved and cherished her.

When the memory lane ended he had a flashback to Monday, when he was called into Precinct one by Bogo.

**Flashback to Three days ago:**

Nick is in his uniform and he arrived at Precinct One at 10:40, according to his watch, for his meeting with his old boss that's scheduled at 11:00. He stood outside the building wondering why Bogo called him here or why he said, on the phone, that it's urgent. But after a while he went inside and noticed that not much has changed except a lot of different faces. He figured that most of the officers he knew, from when he was still working here, transferred to the different Precinct's in the city. He looked at the front desk, where Clawhauser was, and saw that James was chatting with him. It wouldn't mean much, but James wasn't in his uniform. He was dressed in a green t-shirt and jeans and he had a box in front of him on the desk. After a brief moment, he started to walk over to them only for James to turn to his direction and smile at him. He returned the smile as James said.

"It feels like years since I last saw you here Blue." James opened his arms to the approaching fox.

"I have the same feeling Wolfie." Nick said as he hugged his friend tightly. During the hug he got a closer look at the box on the desk. He saw a lot of items that belonged to James, which let to one thing "You're also transferring out of here?"

"Yep." James replied as he broke the hug "And, spoiler alert, I'm transferring to your precinct. Shay will also be joining me."

"That's great Wolfie, and I'm happy for you both." Nick said genuinely happy for his friend. But he looked to his left and saw Ben looking down at something with a sad expression on. Out of concern he asked "Hey Claw what's wrong?" That question caused James to also look at the sulking cheetah. Who didn't look up when his nickname was called.

"If it's about that ship you had for us, the "Wildeford". You shouldn't be upset." James said turning to face Nick "Besides, you're a great guy Blue. But I prefer only one vixen."

"That's fine." Nick said, waving his paw dismissively "Besides I'm more into bunnies, and I'm in a good relationship with one." He raised his right paw to show off his promise ring, after a moment he looked at it with a warm smile as he said. "Although I still can't believe that I'm in a relationship with a bunny again, even more so a Hopps bunny."

"Is it such a surprise?" James asked "Most of the Hoppses like you a lot."

Nick smiled at the comment, knowing it's true. Because ever since his first visit to the Hopps homestead, and the visits that he has had since, most of them dropped their prejudices against foxes. Then they treated him as part of the family, even though Judy said they were just friends. He's had a lot more fond memories being there, than the memories of them breathing down his neck for being a fox and with their sister. He would have gone down memory lane of his time with the Hoppses, but he looked to his left and saw that Ben hasn't said a word since he arrived.

"Ben what's going?" Nick asked, using his real name.

"*sigh* It's nothing." Ben replied "I'm just worried about the little bunbun."

"Judy?" Nick asked, surprised to hear Ben call her that.

"Why?" James asked, a second after Nick asked his question, also surprised.

"Look, I know that the things she's done is wrong. But right now I feel kind of bad for her." Ben replied to them both.

"Why? What happened?" Nick asked in a concerned tone.

"Well, she had a meeting with the Chief at 10AM today." Ben replied

"I'm going to guess that the meeting didn't go well for her." James said with a good guess on what happened.

"It didn't, she was fired." Ben said

As soon as he said that, both Nick and James eye's widened in shock. They both looked at each other for a moment, noting that the other one is just as surprised, before looking back at the cheetah. A few seconds had passed, trying to process what has been said, before Nick asked "How did you know?"

"Well, half an hour ago she came running out of the chief's office crying." Ben replied explaining recent events "Then as she was running through the lobby, she bumped into a ram but didn't stop to apologize like she would do."

"Damn." James said in disbelief in the bunnies action "What happened after that?"

"Well." Ben replied softly as he pulled out a rabbit sized uniform from under the desk, and placed it on top of the counter. As he continued "A few minutes after she left. The chief asked me to go and collect her uniform."

"What happened?" Nick asked thinking that Judy was already heartbroken from losing her badge. So losing her uniform must have made her feel worse.

"When I got there I knocked on the door, but there was no response." Ben replied "It took me fifteen minutes to realize that the door wasn't locked. So I opened it, and the apartment was a complete mess and it smelled horrible."

"Did she know that you were there?" James asked

"No, even when I was squeezing in through the door. Or when I told her that I was there to collect the uniform. She never said a word to me." Ben replied "And I know why, she was fast asleep. But when I got a closer look at her, I saw that she had tear stains on her face. Like she was crying a lot, and her pillow looked like it was soaked."

"Oh Judy." Nick thought as the image of what Ben said came to his mind. He was drawn from his thoughts when Ben continued

"There is more, when I was leaving her apartment I heard her talk in her sleep."

"What did she say?" James asked

"She said; I'm sorry, please forgive me Nick." Ben replied

Nick's eyes widened at the last part that Ben said. Because the same exact part went off in his mind for the last three weeks, at midnight on the dot. Then two days ago Lara deduced that a part of Nick, that still cared for Judy, was crying out to her. He still refused to believe that theory, but he is starting to reconsider it. He would have dwelled on it more, but he was drawn from his thoughts when Ben continued.

"Look guys, I know what Judy did was wrong. But I do feel bad for her right now."

"Yeah, I kind of know what you mean." James said suddenly while looking down.

After he said that, Nick and Ben looked at him with a surprised expression. Both of them couldn't believe that he has sympathy for the bunny. The same bunny he would always display any sense of disdain to every-time she gets mentioned. But after a moment of silence Nick asked in a surprised tone. "Are you serious, Wolfie?"

James looked back up to see both Nick and Ben looking at him with a surprised expression. After a moment passed he said in a serious tone, with an angry expression on his face "Look, I am furious with what that rabbit said and did with my Shay and you Blue. Even the thought of it makes me want to, let's say, give her a piece of my mind." After James said that he took a deep breath to calm down. Then his expression changed from angry to a soft one as he continued "But when I put those things aside, and with what Ben just said, I just feel bad for her."

"Yeah." Nick said sharing the same feelings as James does.

"What about you Blue?" James asked getting the foxes attention "How do you feel about her right now?"

"Sorry, I can't say right now." Nick replied looking at James "Because I have a meeting with Bogo to get to." After he said that he turned to Ben and asked "Claw, could you let him know that I'm here?"

"Okay." Ben replied while he placed a call to the Chief. After a brief moment Ben hung up the phone then turned to Nick and said "You can go up Nick"

"Thanks Claw, I'll see you guys later." Nick said as he started making his way to the staircase, to go up to Bogo's office. He only made a few feet from the front desk, when James called to him when he said "Hey Blue, wait up." Nick then turned around to look at the wolf with a curious expression as he continued.

"Do you want to do a double date later, with Shay and Jared?" James asked while he picked up his box from the desk. "It's okay if you say no."

"Sorry Wolfie." Nick replied "But I promised Lara that I would help her move her things back to her place later. So rain check?"

"Sure." James replied while giving a small smile as he started to leave as well. "See you Blue."

"See you Wolfie." Nick said as he turned back around and started walking upstairs to the chief's office.

On his way there he started to remember the times when he was called into the chief's office. Most of those times were when he and Judy had to report their findings on a case. Or when they were given a specific case to work on. By the time he arrived outside the office he raised his right paw and was going to knock, but then Judy's broken expression flashed through his mind. It caused him to lower his paw and he stared at the door for a moment to block that image from his mind. But that only caused "that phrase" he's been hearing to play in his mind. He knew that these were hallucinations, so it could only mean one thing. He's scheduled meeting with Bogo is to discuss Judy. He looked at his watch and saw that he is still on time, even though he was late by a couple of seconds. He knocked on the door and waited for a response.

"Enter." Came a rough voice.

Nick opened the door and was greeted with the sight of his former boss's intimidating glare. But while he was entering the office he saw a timber wolf, who was sat in a chair opposite from the chief's, with a briefcase on the floor next to him, looking in his direction.

"Morning Chief." Nick said casually while he closed the door behind him "Long time no see."

"Good to see you too, Wilde." Bogo said while Nick was walking closer to his desk. He had to admit that, even though he hasn't seen the fox in a long time, he felt a bit of pride in knowing what he has accomplished in the last few months. So he chose to express how proud he was of the fox as he said "By the way, congratulations on becoming a Lieutenant."

"Thanks Chief." Nick said with a small smile then he turned to look at the wolf, to his right, as he introduced himself. "Sorry, Hi I'm Nicholas Wilde." Nick extended his right paw in a greeting fashion to the timber wolf. "Nick, for short."

"Nice to meet you too, Nick." The wolf said while shaking his paw as he introduced himself as well "I'm Doctor Thomas Monroe."

"Do you mind if I called you Tom?" Nick asked as he sat down on a chair close to Bogo's desk.

"No, I don't mind." Tom replied

"So, what is on the agenda Chief?" Nick asked turning to his former boss, knowing the answer.

"Well, it's about a meeting I had with Hopps earlier today." Bogo replied in a calm tone as he motioned to the timber wolf "And it also concerns Doctor Monroe."

"Before you ask why, Nick." Tom said halting the impending question from the fox who looked at him, with a curious expression. "I am Judith Hopps's therapist."

Nick's eyes widened, in surprise, at that. He remembered from a few weeks, Judy told him that she was seeing a therapist about an issue she was having. But she never said what the issue was or who was her therapist. Now here he is about to talk to her therapist. He was going to ask him what issue she had, but he felt he should mention what Judy told him. "Y'know when Judy came to see me a few weeks ago. She mentioned she was seeing a therapist, but she didn't mention who they were or what issue she was having."

"Wait, you spoke to Judy?" Tom asked sounding surprised.

"Yes." Nick replied "Why do you ask?"

"When you spoke to her did she appear under stress, tired or calm?" Tom asked, in his professional tone, sounding concerned. He didn't get a response from Nick, instead he just got a confused expression from him. So he clarified himself when he said "Apologies, whenever I hear any news about my patients, especially those I haven't heard from in a while, I tend to ask a lot of questions about them."

"I guess that makes sense. I mean you are her therapist after all." Nick said after thinking about what Tom said. "But to answer your question, she appeared calm for the most part. But there were moments when she was crying."

"Wait, that's it?" Bogo asked causing both Nick and Tom to look at him with curious expressions. While he pulled out a piece of paper from a file, on his desk, and handed it to Nick as he said "Wilde that report, with the acknowledgement of your chief, says that Hopps physically assaulted you. Then she sexually harassed you soon after."

"Uh, she didn't do either of those things to me." Nick said as he looked at the report. After a moment, as he was thinking about who made the complaint, he looked at his former boss and said calmly "But I will have a talk with my colleagues when I can. My boss is kind of out of the question. it's complicated." He said that last part because he knew Bogo would ask 'why', while he handed the report back.

"Alright then, if you say so." Bogo said as he placed the report one side, knowing that it's no longer needed. He then took out another sheet of paper from the same file and looked at it for a second before turning to the timber wolf and asked. "Do you have the actual psych eval report, that you promised?"

"I do it's right here." Tom said as he got up from his seat, then picked up a his briefcase.

Tom set his briefcase on his chair then he started to open it. He took out a sheet of paper then turned around and handed it to Bogo. When Bogo got the report he requested he put on his reading glasses and started to read it. While Tom placed the wrong report he sent back into his briefcase. While the exchange was taking place, Nick was watching with a confused expression. Wondering what was wrong with the first report. But after a moment he turned to Tom and asked, in a curious tone

"What was wrong with that report?" Nick asked as he motioned to the report that Tom put away in his briefcase, then closed it.

"Oh, that's just my frustration writing. I was expressing how angry I was that Judy failed to contact me in the last 4 months." Tom replied as he set his briefcase back on the ground, then sat back down on his seat. He didn't get a response from Nick, instead he was met with a confused expression from him, so he clarified himself as he said "It's a technique I advice my patients to use. Where they write their negative feelings or their past actions, that have placed them in the predicaments they are in, in the form of a letter for instance, like Judy's been doing. But that's something anyone could do, like I did and Bogo could do."

"Oh if I had to write letter to Wilde, that would be a long one." Bogo said sarcastically to the idea.

"Would that be about how I'm a very sexy and charming fox, who worked really hard thanks to his good looks?" Nick asked while smirking a little bit. Instead of a response, he got an intimidating glare from the water buffalo. After a few seconds passed he said in his rough tone

"There's a time and place for your smug attitude Wilde. But it's not right now, so I recommend that you watch your mouth."

"Sorry, I'm sorry Chief." Nick said apologetically, while chuckling a bit. When he was done chuckling, as well as catching his breath, he turned to Tom and asked "I don't understand, how did you send the wrong report in the first place?"

"Oh well, I was organizing some files in my office last week Friday and at some point I mixed the actual report with my frustration writing and send it to Bogo." Tom replied "After I realized it, I called him over the weekend to explain Judy's actual condition and I promised him the proper report today, as well as requesting your presence here."

"Well, regardless on which report you send me." Bogo said getting the attention of the other two as he continued while he took off his glasses "The result is the same, and with everything I have in this file." Bogo motioned to the file on his desk as he placed the report into it "It's why I fired her earlier today."

"Wait you fired her?" Tom asked in a surprised tone

"I did." Bogo replied

"Oh dear." Tom said softly as he lowered his head while Bogo left the office.

"Tom what exactly is her condition?" Nick asked sounding curious "And why do you want me here?"

"Before I tell you, let me ask you something." Tom said as he raised his head and looked in Nick's direction "What happened when you spoke to her?"

"This is a matter that concerns you both, and I will leave you be." Bogo said, getting their attention, as he got up. As he was heading for the door he said to them both "Have a good day further, and it was nice to see you again Lieutenant Wilde."

After Bogo left the office, Nick turned back to the wolf, and wondered why he cares about Judy's condition. Anyone else would have just shunned her or made some insulting comment on her. But on the other paw he is her therapist and it's part of his job to know her condition in order to create a proper psych evaluation. So after a brief moment Nick answered the question as he said.

"Well, like a I said she appeared calm for the most part. But when I said that she was crying, that was when she was saying that she was 'sorry' for what she said and did to me." Nick paused for a moment as he felt himself getting upset before he continued "I told her that I was furious with what she did and I told her off on what she could have done differently, in most of the actions she has done."

"Wait, you didn't accept her apology?"

"No." Nick replied bluntly "When she asked me for forgiveness. I said to hell with her and her, as she called it, issue, and I will never forgive her."

"Poor Judy" Tom said sounding sad.

"Poor Judy? Tom do you even know what she has done?"

"Yes I do, and I have seen the news. I'm just concerned about her well being." Tom replied "But to answer your question Nick, she has PTSD."

"She has PTSD?" Nick asked in disbelief

"Yes she does, like you did at one time." Tom replied while getting a confused expression from Nick "I heard about it from Lara. But that's a story for another time. For Judy, those first few sessions I had with her, she explained how she's been having nightmares of her arguments with individuals she cherished in her life. Like her family, her friends and colleagues here at the ZPD and especially you. But also she says she hears their voices yelling at her, and she keeps seeing the child she aborted." After explaining that bit he saw Nick's expression go from confused to surprised before he continued "But one thing she kept saying is that she regrets going through with her operation and shoving you out of her life like she did."

Nick couldn't believe what he just heard a moment ago. When he saw that face of Judy's a few months ago 'that night' It told him that she has no remorse what so ever over having the abortion. Now he hears that she does regret it. So he asked in a soft tone for clarification "She... She really regrets it?"

"She does." Tom replied "I told her that if she truly wants these nightmares to end, she would need to make amends on her actions. The first thing she said she was going to do was to make things right between you two. But because I haven't heard from her in months as well as what's on the news, and you not forgiving her, I fear that her nightmares have gotten worse."

"Oh Judy, I'm sorry, I didn't know." Nick thought as the image of Judy's broken expression flashed through his head.

"Nick I got to ask you something." Tom asked causing Nick to turn and face him "Please try to make contact with Judy."

"What?"

"I know what you're thinking." Tom replied halting Nick before he could say anything "I'm this doctor you never met before and he is asking you, out of the blue, to reach out to your ex-girlfriend whom who don't want to see ever again. But don't think of it like that, think of it as helping out a mammal who is in need of help."

"Is this why you wanted me here? You want me help Judy overcome her PTSD?" Nick asked as Tom nodded 'yes'. Nick then looked down at the ground as he said "I don't know Tom, I just can't bring myself to do it. Besides I don't even have her current phone number. I know she changed it sometime after we broke up."

"At least think about it." Tom said as he took out a piece of paper and wrote Judy's phone number on it then gave it to him. "What would the Judy you loved do when someone is in need of help?"

**End of Flashback**

He had been thinking about that question for the last three days. He knew the answer; Judy would have gone and helped them not only because it's her duty as a member of the ZPD. But because she wants to help them, and he wants to help her. So it would make sense that he contacts her. But the problem is, he can't bring himself to make that call. He kept the phone number in his uniforms pocket and he never came around to call her. However he knew that she is suffering from PTSD, and he knows first hand it's not a nice thing to go through. More so, if you're going through it by yourself. But unfortunately he's torn and doesn't know what to do. He wants to call her and make things better, but recent events told him otherwise.

"Aren't you going to make that call Nick?" Came a familiar voice in a casual tone

Almost on instinct when Nick heard that voice, one he thought he wouldn't hear again. He looked to his right to see Judy, wearing her pink flannel shirt and jeans, sitting across from him on the sofa. He would have been thrilled to see her, but he knew this is a hallucination right now. So his blood boiled and he lashed out as he got up and moved away from the sofa as he said "Not again. NOT THIS AGAIN!"

"Not what again?" Judy asked sounding confused

"You being here, it's not real!" Nick shouted as he turned around and gave her an angry glare as he continued "You're not really here Judy. You're just a voice in my head, messing with me. So leave me alone!"

"Okay knock off the tough guy act Nick." Judy said as she got up "We both know that I'm here because there's a part of you that still cares about me, with proof. Even Lara figured that out and she is right. But you're being stubborn about."

"What proof?"

"You've been having hallucinations about me for the past three weeks." Judy replied "And back at the precinct, when I was having an emotional breakdown. You wanted to hug me and tell me to let my emotions out. Tell me you didn't feel those things."

"*groan* Fine it's true I..." Nick started but then he felt tears starting to well up in his eyes just from looking at her in her amethyst eyes "*sigh* I wanted to do those things so badly. But I had my reasons not to."

"I know you did." Judy said as she moved closer to him "But there's more than that. Remember the day I told you that I was pregnant?"

"I'm trying not to." Nick replied not wanting to think about that day.

"Well when I found out I was pregnant. I thought about both the good and bad aspects of it."

"And those good aspects are?"

"Us having wonderful children. The light you said I had, that helped others be better than themselves like you, would continued to shine through them. They would even make the world a better place in ways I couldn't do myself." Judy said with a smile before she dropped it and looked down as she continued "But unfortunately the stupid bad aspects got to our head that caused all of this to happen like it did."

"Woah hold on." Nick said suddenly causing her to look up at him with a confused expression "What do you mean 'our head'?"

"Well, it' something that's been going on for a long time now, and it's kind of difficult to explain." Judy replied "But do you remember the day you expressed your feelings for me and I denied mine?" Nick responded by nodding 'yes' "Well, it caused me to be split into two parts. One part that chose the 'just friends' thing, the other part wanted you as our mate. I'm that other part, technically I'm the old Judy that you fell in love with. Even though I'm a hallucination of yours."

"Wait so, you've had this mental health issue since back then?" Nick hypothesized, while his heart was beating to the thought that he was talking to the bunny he loved years ago.

"No not like that." Judy replied "More like an inner voice. But most mammals have that, where you think about doing something then the inner voice tells you to either 'do it' or 'don't do it'. Or you can think of it as two sides of the same coin. One part wanting one thing, the other part wanting another. I was like that to Judy for a while."

"Was?" Nick asked, scared to hear the answer

"Well when you left, the day I was pregnant. I became trapped under layers of anger, hatred and self-loathing." Judy replied "It broke my heart that it happened, but everything that you said back at the precinct about what she could have done. I wanted to do it myself, but that other part kept me from doing it. Then, I had to sit and watch as our child was taken from us and when she started hanging around with Shay."

"Oh Judy, I'm so sorry you had to go through that." Nick choked regretting ever leaving her in the first place

"Thank you" Judy said as she moved closer and stood in front of him as she continued "But when you came back, I was over the moon happy to see you."

"Really?" Nick asked in disbelief "Cause I remember facing a lot of anger from that time."

"That was the other part of me you were facing Nick." Judy explained "I was the one who was happy to see you. But during the whole thing, I felt my heart breaking to see you having an emotional break down. Then a while later again when you saw her and Shay staring at each other. When all I wanted was to express how happy I was to see you."

"What about when I was shoved out the door?" Nick asked sounding curious "What about then?"

"Well, when that happened and I saw the destroyed look on your face. That was the last straw for me." Judy replied "I had enough of her and her choices without there being consequences to them. But sometime after you left, the guilt she had been suppressing got out and it caused all the hallucinations she's been having. Over time it got worse until she came to see you."

"I guess you were overjoyed to see me again, huh?" Nick asked while Judy placed her paw on his chest, where his heart is. He couldn't feel it because she is an illusion. But in his heart it felt real.

"I was so happy to see you." Judy replied with a warm smile "And when you told her off about the things she's done. It caused all the anger and hatred to vanish and be replaced with intense guilt and shame. It's how I was able to walk around like this."

"But that was three weeks ago." Nick said "What have you been doing since?"

"Well, like I told you her hallucinations have gotten worse." Judy replied "But ever since this past weekend, I've been belittling her on all the decisions she has made involving you. But there is something I wanted to say to you, when I saw you at the precinct."

"What is it?"

"I'm proud of you." Judy replied "I'm proud of how far you came as a member of the ZPD, and you earned that title of Lieutenant."

"It wasn't easy, I did while I was dealing with a broken heart." Nick said as he looked to the floor, away from her gaze

"Still, I'm proud of you Nick."

Those last words kept playing over and over in Nick's mind for a while. Each time it did, it caused a layer of guilt to build up on his heart. The guilt of leaving his bunny when she needed him. As well as the guilt of knowing that he is part of the reason why she is suffering so much from her mental health. He took a few deep breaths then looked back at her, with a sad expression as he asked "Can I ask you something."

"Sure"

"What do I need to do to make this real?"

"What?" Judy asked not understanding what he meant

"What must I do to just close my eyes then when I open them, you're really here Judy?" Nick asked repeating his question with more detail "I would just pick you up right now and carried you to the bedroom upstairs, and show you how much I missed you."

"You're so sweet Nick." Judy said "But you would have to do what Tom asked, and help her overcome her issue. If you play your cards right, I could come back."

"Okay but" Nick started while the tears started to stream down his face as he continued "I miss you... Carrots."

"I miss you too Nick." Judy said as Nick tried to hug her, but he phased through her instead almost falling on the sofa. He turned around and looked at her with a shocked expression, while she said to him calmly. "To bad I couldn't feel the hug since I'm just an illusion. But I did appreciate it though." Judy then started to glow blue, indicating that the hallucination is going to end "Until we meet again, I love you Slick."

"Carrots" Nick said but Judy had vanished. After she vanished he looked down at the ground in sadness, as his tears fell to the floor. A few seconds afterwards, he looked back at the sofa to see the box and letter he opened earlier. He thought about what his hallucination told him, then he moved to the sofa and picked up the letter and he re-read the last part of it.

_I'm really sorry for hurting you like I did. Please know that you will always have a place in my heart._

After reading that last part of the letter, and drying his tears, Nick went upstairs to his room to retrieve the piece of paper from his uniform. When he got it he collected his phone from his nightstand and sat down on the edge of his bed. He dialed the numbers into his phone then set it close to his ears as he heard it ringing. While a though came to his mind.

"I'm going to get hell from everyone about this."

0000

Judy sat at her desk, like she did for the past few days and is eating from a "carrots for one" container. Like she did years ago. Carrots for one is a big lie that's printed on these containers. Because they're supposed to mean a whole bunch of carrots and not just a single shriveled up one. But that's all Judy's been eating for the last few days. Ever since her relationship with Shay ended, then her hallucinations came around and her botched reunion with Nick. Both of her eating and sleeping routine's have been faulty. She couldn't sleep well without her hallucinations haunting her, and she hasn't had much of an appetite since her reunion with Nick. So she's been eating tv diners for sometime, but everyday it shrunk little bit by little bit until she ate only those "Carrots for one" meals. It has been a long time since she had a home cooked meal, or one made by Nick. Like those delicious pancakes he made for her sometimes. One such occasion manifested into a hallucination to her left and she looked in that direction, while tears welled up in her eyes. She remembered that time fondly because it was Valentine's day and it made a small smile creep on her face.

**Flashback to two years ago:**

Judy was sound asleep in her bed, but then she heard a shuffling sound in her bedroom. With one eye opened she looked to her left to see Nick standing be her bedside wearing an apron, with nothing underneath it she guessed, and holding a tray in his paw. But there was a sweet scent coming from the tray and she knew what it was; Nick's delicious pancakes. But when she looked up further she saw that he had on a warm smile as he said.

"Morning Carrots, Happy Valentine's day." Nick set the tray of pancakes on the bed in front of her.

"Happy Valentine's day to you too Nick." Judy said while she gave Nick a quick peck on his cheek while he was setting the tray on the bed and she sat up. She saw that the pancakes were in the shape of a heart, and considering today they it was very special. She turned to Nick, returning the same warm smile, as she said "Thank you Nick."

"You're welcome Carrots." Nick said as he gave her a peck on her nose "And there's more for your Valentine's day breakfast." Nick then proceeded to remove his apron. But as Judy guessed, he was naked underneath it and she could see a healthy morning wood staring at her. When she was looking at it she could feel her ears turn bright red and then she looked up to see Nick smirking at her as he said "Here's your desert."

"You're a dirty fox, Nick" Judy said in a seductive tone

"And you are a horny bunny." Nick said returning the same tone while he got down on his knees so he is eye level with her "And that's one of the reasons why I love you." He then started to shower her with a lot of affection in the form of kisses.

While she was receiving the affection from her fox, one thought came to her mind. It was a bad idea to go to bed in nothing but her underwear last night. Because Nick was kissing her on her cheeks, her shoulders, her eyelids and her ear tips. Although she does enjoy this form of affection, the timing was bad. Because if they carry on like this, she will likely knock the tray of pancakes onto the floor. So she knew she had to stop her fox before things got carried away, even though she wants to enjoy this a few seconds more. But unfortunately, things did get out of hand because Nick is kissing her neck and it's starting to tickle her a bit.

"Nick stop... please" Judy giggled as she tried to get Nick off of her neck

Nick heard her plea, then stopped for a moment to look at her and said "I'll stop when you say that you love me." He then went back to her ear, this time lightly nibbling the base of it.

"Alright alright I'll say it." Judy said with a whine because he stopped the affection to look at her. "I love you Nick. I love you so much."

"Was it so hard to say 'I love you' without the foxy kisses and nibbles?" Nick asked causing Judy to give him a soft punch to his chest. He caught the punch and pulled Judy into a tight hug as he said "I love you to Judy." The two then shared a brief passionate kiss. After a good ten seconds passed they both stopped kissing then Nick climbed into bed and cuddled her.

"And now for our breakfast." Nick pulled the tray closer to them and picked up the knife and fork and started to cut a piece of the pancake and gave it to Judy, in a feeding motion "Open wide and say yummy."

Judy complied and chewed the food with admiration on how the ingredients were perfectly mixed together and how tasty it was. When she swallowed it she said "Yummy" with a smile to him. Then she started to feed him the same way he did to her. They both took turns feeding each other little bits of the pancake at a time. All the while enjoying, not only the breakfast but, each others company as well on this day.

**End of Flashback**

When the memory vanished the tears that were welling up started to stream down her face. While a voice she knew came out of no-where, and of course she hallucinated again.

"That was such a great breakfast." Illusion Judy said softly

"*sniff* It was" Judy said as she dried her eyes

"To bad we never had such a great breakfast like that again." Illusion Judy said, in a harsh tone, turning to Judy "Thanks to you"

"I'm sorry" Judy said in a choked tone

"Are you?" Illusion Judy asked sounding annoyed "I mean you keep saying that you're sorry and that you love him. But you don't do anything about it. Aside from these recent events one time comes to mind. For instance what happened at our birthday party."

"Oh no, not that please." Judy panicked knowing what her illusion is up to.

"Nick put together this amazing surprise birthday party for us. He invited all our colleagues and friends at the ZPD, his family, a few of our siblings and our parents and Finnick. He even got the Big family, with their security, to come. Then what did you do?" Illusion Judy asked not getting a response, as she guessed "You accused him of cheating on us. The drama that followed was intense to say the least."

As much as it pained her to admit it. Her illusion self was right, when she first made that accusation it caused a lot of pain on Nick. When she did he gave her an expression she couldn't make out, at first. But a few seconds later she deduced that it was a mix of shock, anger and pain. A short while after that, and when she realized her mistake, everyone was hounding her for details about her relationship with Nick. But during the whole ordeal she saw Nick leaving the party with his paws clenched. She didn't see or speak to him for two days straight, even though she tried to contact him. However on the third day, after her birthday, she had a conversation with him during their patrol that got out of hand.

Unfortunately for her that memory manifested into a hallucination and appeared to her left, like the one before.

**Flashback to two years ago:**

It's a warm summer day in Zootopia. Many mammals would be enjoying each others company or having fun in the daylight. Unfortunately neither was the case for a certain fox and bunny in a police patrol car. Normally the two of them would be busy with playful bantering or laughing at jokes. But they're busy with something else; uncomfortable silence. It had been three days since Judy's birthday, and neither of them had seen each other for the previous two. Now they're on patrol in the Rainforest district with Judy driving while Nick was leaning on his elbow on the passenger side door glaring at the road. Every now and then Judy would chance a glance in Nick's direction, trying to figure out what to say to him, and he would still be glaring at the road. But when he did look at her, he would stare daggers into her being forcing her to look back at the road.

Their lunchbreak has arrived, and Judy pulled up in front of their usual diner in the district; daybreak diner. She turned the engine off then unbuckled herself, but before she got out of the car she turned to face Nick. She saw that he was still angry so she asked softly "Can we talk?"

"About what?" Nick asked coldly not moving a muscle

"Nick, I'm really sorry I ruined the party you worked hard to put together for me and I'm really sorry I accused you of cheating on me as well." Judy apologize "I hope you can forgive me."

When she said that Nick turned to face her, and saw in her eyes that she is genuinely sorry for what she did. But he was still very angry with her. So instead of accepting her apology he told her off, in a harsh tone "Judith Laverne Hopps that is the second time you accused me of cheating on you this month. A week after our 1st Anniversary, what the hell?!"

Judy was taken aback by Nick's sudden outburst. But also by his usage of her full real name. That generally means that whatever they were discussing is really serious. She would have answered Nick's question but she was cut off by him when he continued, still in his harsh tone. "After all the things I've done for you, how could you up and think I would cheat on you?! Do you honestly think that I'm some kind of lying, cheating, foul, deceiving-"

"No Nick, it's nothing like that!" Judy shouted cutting Nick off.

"Then what's going on?" Nick asked sounding angry.

"Nick please, it's just-" Judy said as she took a moment to take a deep breath to calm down. "I've been feeling a bit insecure lately."

That response took Nick by surprise. It didn't occur to him that she would be feeling insecure. Because she's always been brave in most of the things she has done in her life. But when he looked at her, he could tell that it was really troubling her. However he was confused on why she is feeling that way, so after he took a deep breath to calm down he asked "Why?"

"Because everywhere we go mammals hit on you." Judy replied "Even when I'm standing right there. The same thing happened with my brother, remember?"

"That's because they all think I'm single." Nick said as he face palmed himself. Realizing the problem; the 'just friends' arrangement. "I would have told them the truth, but I can't because you said we should just keep it to ourselves."

"So you're saying it's my fault." Judy asked getting upset, while Nick sat back in his seat staring out the windscreen as he said

"*groan* See if I answer that it will make me look like a jerk." Nick turned to face Judy and saw that there was fury in her eyes. But he matched it because he was also angry, thinking that she didn't understand the problem. "But technically yes, it is your fault. If you had just let us been a bit more public about our relationship, none of this would have happened."

"Nick I told you, if we were public about our relationship in our society. There would be nothing but endless backlash for both of us." Judy explained not liking the idea either, but thought it the best option for them.

"I don't care." Nick retorted causing Judy to look at him in a surprise as he continued "I don't care what others say about us. They're a bunch of morons, because they can't explain how a bunny could love a fox. So instead of using their brains to think. They would waste their time belittling us and others in situations like ours. It would be the same case if we had a kit."

"But Nick, we can't have a kit of our own."

"I know Judy, I was being hypothetical." Nick clarified "But I guess with your outburst at the party. Our friends and family now know that we're a couple."

"Actually they don't." Judy said

"What do you mean?" Nick asked sounding confused

"Well, after you left and they were hounding me with questions about us. I told them the truth." Judy started feeling her heart breaking. Because what she is about to tell him is a lie that she told the others at the party. "I told them that there was this guy I was dating who cheated on me. Then I unfairly took my anger out on you. So bottom line is that they still think that we are friends and a team. We are a team, right?" Judy asked as she gave him a strained smile

Nick couldn't comprehend what he was just told. The one chance of letting just their family and friends know about their relationship is gone. Because she told them that are just friends, but also some guy cheated on her. He knew it was a lie but still hurts to hear her say that. So instead of answering her question he said, in an enraged tone "Are you kidding me! You told them that we're just friends!"

"Nick it's for the best that they don't know." Judy said surprised by his answer

"Alright fine." Nick retorted "So tell me, who is this other guy that cheated on you."

"There's no guy Nick. It's a lie." Judy said upset with what Nick said

"Really?" Nick asked in disbelief "Cause I'm not the only one who mammals thought was single. Just yesterday that one buck was also hitting on you and I saw you smiling at him."

"Hey you were there. You know what actually happened Nick!" Judy shouted, being angry with Nick.

"Oh I was there alright." Nick admitted "But I was introduced as your 'best friend' and you told that guy that you have lovely and charming boyfriend. But you weren't referring to me!"

"This is ridiculous, I'm done talking about this with you." Judy said trying to end the discussion.

"Look Judy I can't go on with this 'just friends' thing any longer." Nick said sounding calm which surprised Judy "Because when the others asked me questions about you, I had to lie to them and myself by saying that you're my friend. When in reality you're my girlfriend, but just saying that you're my friend, it gives me the feeling of shame. Like I'm ashamed to call you my girlfriend when I'm not, I never was, I love you Judy."

"Oh Nick" Judy thought having felt so touched by Nick's speech. Every part of her being is telling her to just hug the daylights out of her fox and smother him with a lot of affection. Because she feels the same way as he does, even if they are in public. However those feelings were discarded when Nick said something that shocked her.

"Unless, you're ashamed of me"

"What?! No I'm not, why would you even say that?"

"Because it was your stupid idea to have us do this 'just friends' arrangement for months." Nick replied as his voice rose in volume slightly

"So now I'm stupid?" Judy asked back to being angry. "Is that what you're saying Nick?"

"No there's a difference between being stupid and having a stupid thought" Nick replied also being angry "So having and doing that 'just friends' idea for months is stupid."

"Okay, let's just drop it Nick." Judy said not wanting to continue the discussion anymore. As she made a move to leave the car but was halted by her fox

"Fine, but just tell me something." Nick said while Judy looked out the windscreen waiting for his question. "How long are we going to hide our relationship? If you're not ashamed of me than what is it?" Nick didn't get a response from her. Instead she groaned at his question. "If you're so concerned about how mammals see you, then why don't you just make it easier for yourself and break up with me."

"How could you even say that?" Judy asked as she was getting more enraged with him

"Because you won't tell me, how long we're going to keep hide our relationship." Nick replied in frustration "And I told you, it's stupid to be so concerned about how others view you. Then letting what they say run your life, because it's just going to lead to-"

"Listen here Nicholas Piberious Wilde!" Judy shouted having lost her patience with Nick, and using his full name against him "I'm a living symbol for all of Zootopia's mammals! So my actions are accountable for the society we're living in right now! So we are NOT going public with our relationship! Nobody needs to know about us, EVER! But if you're not happy about it, then just SHUT UP and LEAVE ME ALONE!" When she was done shouting, she took a few deep breaths to calm down. But then she saw Nick having a broken expression and she realized what she just said to him. In a calm tone she said "Nick I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"No no, it's fine." Nick said hastily cutting her off "I'll leave you be on the matter." They were both back to being in uncomfortable silence. However that lasted a few seconds before Nick broke it when he said "I guess that means that we're down."

"What? No Nick we can-" Judy started but was cut off again

"I'm sorry Judy, but I can't go on with this stupid 'just friends' thing anymore." Nick then proceeded to unbuckle himself "I can't keep lying to myself, and others, that the mammal I love is nothing more than a friend to me. If you want to keep doing it, then go right ahead but I can't."

"No Nick you don't have to." Judy said in a shaky tone at Nick's suggestion that they end their relationship "We... We can work something out. But just don't leave me, please." The tears that were building up in her eyes started to stream down her face.

"I'm sorry Judy, but actions speak louder than words." Nick said as he gave her a blank expression "And you spending your time telling everyone that I'm just a friend, who is gay, tells me that you're ashamed to call me your boyfriend." Nick looked down at the floor of their patrol car as he continued "And to think I cared so much, that I had to beg my baby sister to help me find a nice Anniversary gift for you. To think I cared so much that I put a lot of effort into making your birthday extra special." He turned to his left to see Judy crying with her mouth slightly opened. As much as it hurt him to see her like that. He knew he had to finish what he started "I'll know for future not to put as much effort into your birthday parties or anything else. Since I'm just a friend."

After he said that last bit, he then unlocked the passenger door and climbed out but before he went into the deli. He turned around to face her, while Judy said hastily "No Nick you are more than a friend. You have to believe that."

"Do you want anything special from the deli, partner?" Nick asked, with a straight face, ignoring her statement.

Judy felt her heart break into pieces at the reality in front of her. Her relationship with Nick was really over, it's a bitter pill to swallow and she's struggling with it. But Nick on the other paw seems to have swallowed it already. At least that's what it seemed from the outside but on the inside, and a look into his eyes, she could tell that he was also in pain. Unfortunately she couldn't come up with the right words to say to him to make things better. But she knew whatever she said, wouldn't fix things then. So she answered his question softly, but loud enough for Nick to hear.

"J-Just my usual please." Judy then flinched because Nick slammed the door shut. A moment after that Judy moved over to the passenger side and peeked out the window to see Nick walking into the diner with his ears droopy and his tail dragging on the floor. Which happens when he was sad. Seeing that sight caused her heartache and her to mumble "I'm sorry."

But not long after that she saw Nick talking to the attendant, likely placing the order she requested. Then she saw a red furred vixen walking up to him and starting to talk to him. When she looked at the vixen she could tell that she wasn't Nick's mom or sister, since she met them already. She hoped that she was just a relative of his, but then Nick glanced at her for a moment before looking back her, nodding his head with a small smile. Agreeing with whatever she asked him, but it also meant what she thought is happening. The vixen is asking Nick out and he said 'yes', Judy got confirmation on that, and her fear of losing him, when she saw them both going to a table.

"Oh no, Nick" Judy said as she felt more tears streaming down her face.

**End of Flashback:**

"Poor Nick, he was just tired of the 'just friends' arrangement, and with a good reason." Illusion Judy said softly before her tone changed to harsh as she looked at her counter part and continued "But instead of listening to him, you said it was best to keep going with the arrangement. It cost you our fox, then he moved back to his apartment and he was with that vixen too. So what do you have to say for yourself?" She didn't get a response, instead Judy just sat at her desk burring her face into her paws silently sobbing. "If you're not going to say anything, then answer that phone call you're about to get."

"What?" Judy asked as she looked at her counterpart. But then her phone started to ring as predicted.

Judy scrambled to retrieve her phone from her desk and looked at the caller ID. It read "Unknown Caller", but it is expected because she changed her phone number sometime after her breakup with Nick. But just the fact that she has a call on her phone, means someone wants to talk to her. But it could be anyone, it could be her former colleagues from the ZPD. Her friends back in Bunnyburrow or her family or even Nick calling. As much as she would want any of these options to be true, none of them would. There is a good chance that someone somehow got her phone number from the ZPD under false pretenses, and is calling to say how much of a Freaky Fox Lover she is. But the chance to speak to anyone other than her illusion self is worth this one call. So she answered it and placed the phone by her ear and waited for it to connect. When it did connect she answered the call softly by saying, "H..Hello?"

"I think we should talk Judy." Came a familiar voice over the phone

It felt like her heart jumped to her throat the second she heard the voice of the mammal she wanted to see so badly. But the idea that it's Nick calling probably means she is hallucinating again. In an attempt for confirmation that it is really Nick calling, and not her hallucinations, she asked in a shaky voice "Nick? Is...Is it really you?"

"Yes Judy it's me." Nick replied "There are certain matters that we need to talk about."

"O..Okay like what?" Judy asked trying to slow her heart rate down. Due to being happy to hear his voice again, but also in fear that she won't be able to hear it again.

"Not over the phone Judy." Nick replied sounding serious. "Look, if you really want to talk. I'll text you my address and you just need to be here at 10AM. Do you have a pen and paper?"

"Yes I do." Judy replied "Hold on." She then set the phone on the desk, carefully so she doesn't accidentally end the call, then she looked around her desk for the items requested. When she got them she placed the small piece of paper in front of her and kept the pen in her right paw, ready to write. Then she picked up the phone and placed it by her ear as she asked "What must I write?"

"Nick Wilde called me." Nick replied, he suspected that she was going to ask 'why', so he beat her to it by saying "I know it sounds weird, but just write it."

"Okay." Judy said as she complied with what Nick told her. When she was done she set the pen down, then asked Nick in a curious tone "Nick, is there a reason why I must write this?"

"Well let's just say that the guards here, where I'm staying, don't take kindly to outsiders." Nick replied "But more so for an individual like yourself. When you get here, just show the guards that note then they will let you in. I'll talk soon Judy."

"Wait Nick!" Judy shouted but Nick ended the call before she could say anything. She held the phone in her paws and looked at her wallpaper screen. It was a selfie she took with Nick a long time ago. She looked at the photo fondly, while she swallowed the fact that she spoke to him after so long.

"Don't mess it up." Illusion Judy said as Judy bolted up from her desk, due to being surprised, to look at her.

"What?" Judy asked but then her phone buzzed with a new message from Nick. She opened it and saw the address that Nick said he would send. But there was a part of the address that confused her; Earndale. She didn't hear about this place before. But then she looked up at her illusion self, and she was met with an expression that is both cold and serious as she said

"This could be your last chance to get our fox back. Don't screw it up!" Illusion Judy then vanished in a blue light.

When she was gone, Judy looked at the time on her phone and it read; 07:05. She has two hours to get to Nick and she wasn't going to lose this opportunity.

0000

It took her a while, but she got a hold of a bus that was travelling in the direction of Earndale. She wanted to do a bit of research on the place, but she didn't. Because she feared she would miss the deadline that Nick gave her. Instead she looked up the address online and saw that it was located in Downtown Zootopia. She was dressed in her best clothes, despite being a bit wrinkled, that consisted of a pink flannel shirt and jeans. When she got the bus, it didn't surprise her that the mammals moved away from her because of her current reputation. But she suspected it was because of the odor she had on her. Fortunately for her, her stop was coming up and she was able to get off before things got out of hand.

When she got off, and started walking to Earndale, she double checked to see the parchment that Nick said she had to bring is in her pocket. Then she took out her phone to see the time, which is 09:45. So she had fifteen minutes left. A short while after she checked the time Earndale came into view, and she saw that it was walled off. She also took note of a gate, as she approached it, she saw and recognized two wolves from a case she did years ago. They were both sitting in a security booth, that was to the left of a gate, and they were both dressed in light blue security uniforms, but one wolf had white fur and light brown eyes while the other had brown fur and ice-blue eyes. Unfortunately they recognized her as well as the one opened the window and asked

"Aren't you Judy Hopps, the freaky fox lover?"

"Aren't you the wolves from the Asylum?" Judy asked while feeling hurt from being called that nickname again.

"Yes we are." The other wolf replied "And I think intros are in order here. I'm Larry and this handsome wolf." Larry gently elbowed the other wolf in his side "Is Garry."

"Now what do you want?" Garry asked in a harsh tone

"This." Judy said as she took out the piece of paper and gave it to them. Larry was the one who took the note, unfolded it, then read it. For a few seconds he looked back and forth between the note and her.

"Well if Nick called you, he called you." Larry said as he gave the note back to her "Come in" He then pressed a button in booth office and the gate opened.

Judy took a few steps into the area and she was astonished by what she saw. Earndale looked like a beautiful neighborhood and, even though she was standing at the entrance she could see a lot of houses. She could have seen more, but she was called by one of the wolves from the booth. She looked in the direction to see Larry on a motorbike with a sidecar.

"Hey rabbit, you going to get in or what?" Larry asked in a harsh tone

"Sorry" Judy replied solemnly as she climbed into the sidecar.

"See you, in a while hun." Larry said in a cheerful tone to the other wolf

"Same to you babe." Garry said while Larry started the motorbike and took off.

The two of them started the journey to Nick's home, all be it at moderate speed. Along the way Judy took a moment to take in her surroundings. Aside from the houses that she has seen, she also saw a park where families and couples were. There is a farmer's market that is currently packed with customers. In the distance she could see a performance stage, just like the one at The Red Serpent bar. There were several nice restaurants in this neighborhood, even a shopping mall too. There is also a wide variety of trees along the places here in the neighborhood. As she took in these sights she turned to Larry and asked in a curious tone.

"So, what is Earndale exactly?"

"Not that you need to know, but this is a place where mammals can live away from prejudice individuals like yourself." Larry replied as he took a quick glance in her direction to see a shocked expression. He then decided to explain his harsh attitude as he said "Aside from your freaky interest. Predators returning to their savage ways, ring a bell?"

"That was a long time ago." Judy replied shocked that what she said years ago at the conference is still hated to this day. "I'm sorry"

"Tch, whatever" Larry said refusing to accept her apology, while Judy looked down at her lap in guilt. A couple of minutes after that they came upon Nick's home as Larry announced "And here we are."

When Larry said that Judy looked up at the house they stopped in front of, with a surprised expression on. To say that she was amazed would be an understatement. Nick's house is a very nice looking two story home. She saw a bunch of small shrubs that have flowers growing in them. In front of the house is a porch where there is a small table with two seats on opposite sides facing her direction, and are located to the left of the front door. There was even a few pots of flowers close to the chairs. She saw a black SUV parked on a driveway to a garage, located adjacent to the house on the right. She looked around and saw a couple of windows but they were closed and had blinds drawn so she couldn't see inside. She got out of the sidecar and started making her towards the front door when Larry spoke, causing Judy to turn around to look at him.

"Take a good look around here rabbit. You're not going to be here long." Larry revved his motorbike then turned around then left. As she watched him leave she noticed that from where she is standing, Nick's home is a few houses away from the front gate and has a good view of it.

A short while after Larry left, Judy resumed making her to the front door. She climbed up a small set of stairs then passed the seats and table then stood right in front of the door. As she stood still she couldn't believe her luck. The fox that she wanted to see for such a long time is behind these wooden doors. The thought that it's truly him, and not her hallucinations, made a smile creep up on her face. Her heart rate sped up a bit from the excitement of seeing him again, despite things not being as they were between them. She raised her right paw and was about to knock when she heard what sounded like an argument between Nick and Finnick.

"Are you seriously doing this Wilde?" Finnick asked sounding angry

"Yes I am Finn." Nick replied trying to sound calm.

"Why?" Finnick asked "You told her off what she doesn't want to hear. You even said that you would never see her again, but now you called her here. Did you suffer a blow to the head?" After he said that, there was silence inside. It made her heart sink a bit, thinking that Nick is probably not gonna go through with this met of theirs

"No, I didn't." Nick replied breaking the brief silence "Look I spoke to her therapist and he said that she wasn't doing good. Apparently she has PTSD and he asked me to help her, and I considered doing it."

"Look Nick I hate to break it to you, but that's not going to happen. Since she's not going to show up" Finnick said calmly, shocking Judy because she never heard him say Nick's name before "But even if she was, what if the therapist is lying to you? What if this is a setup and she's going to hurt you all over again?"

"Ugh, look I get that you're looking out for me and I appreciate it." Nick replied "So how about this. If she doesn't show up in the next 5 minutes, I'll take your word for it."

"KNOCK NOW!" Illusion Judy shouted behind Judy causing her to comply.

After Judy knocked, rather quickly, she didn't hear any sound from inside the house until she heard Finnick's rough voice. "There's no way that's her."

"Only one way to find out." Nick said

Judy waited for what felt like an eternity, while she griped her shirt in anticipation, then she heard locks being unlocked then the door opened. It was only opened slightly, but was enough for to see Nick standing there wearing a green t-shirt and jeans. He even had a surprised expression on as he said "Judy, you came."

"I did." Judy said with a small smile "May I come in?"

"Yeah." Nick replied as he opened the door fully, allowing Judy to enter his home.

When she did, while Nick closed the door, she looked around and was surprised at how spacious the house is. There is light brown wallpaper. She saw a table with a small bowl, to her left, just like back at her old apartment. Then she looked ahead, through an archway, and saw what looked like the kitchen area with two chairs facing the kitchen counter. A stair case leading upstairs, and she even saw a couple of picture frames on the walls. One picture she saw was of Nick sitting on a chair with Skye on his lap and Josh standing next to them.

"You live here?" Judy asked turning to face Nick

"Yeah, it's all thanks to Lara that I got this place." Nick replied motioning to the frame on the wall of himself hugging Lara from behind. But next to that is a picture of Jared sitting in Nick's lap, cuddling him, at the park. The image of that made Judy's heart sink and she looked down and saw a ring on Nick's right paw. Making her heart sink further into her stomach. But before she could say something, Nick beat her to it when he said

"Follow me this way." Nick moved towards a door close to the stairs and opened it. Beckoning her to follow, which she did.

When they stepped through the door, they arrived in the living room and Judy was amazed again. There was nice carpets and a HD flat-screen tv. She saw in one corner a small chair with a sign next to it saying "Jail". There's a few kids toys on a play mat in the center of the room. There's also two comfy looking sofas, on to her right, which is black, and on ahead of her, in green like Nicks shirt. However there is a small occupant on the center of the green sofa staring daggers into her, with an angry expression on; Nick's best friend Finnick.

"Hi Finnick" Judy said softly but she didn't get a response back.

"I told you she was here, Finn" Nick said as he moved towards the sofa while Finnick got off it.

"Yeah well if she's here then I'll see you around." Finnick said as he moved towards the door passing Judy. But he stopped in front of the door to turn around to face her and said, in a harsh tone "Let me tell you something bunny, this guy you blew off is my best friend, and he was destroyed by your heartless actions."

"Finnick, I'm-" Judy started but was cut off

"Save it! I don't want to hear any of your lame excuses or apologies." As soon as Finnick said that, Judy backed away from him slowly and she looked down in guilty. For a few seconds, that seemed like an eternity to Judy, the living room was dead silent. Fortunately it was broken by Nick.

"Hey Finn, could you tell Sean why I'm not at the met? If he asks?" Nick asked as he sat down on the sofa

"Sure Wilde, but just watch yourself with her." Finnick replied while pointing at Judy "Anyway see ya."

"See you Finn, love you." Nick said while smirking at him

"Yeah, yeah same to you." Finnick said as he left the living room.

When he left both bunny and fox heard the front door close. Indicating that it was just the two of them in the house. There was an uncomfortable silence between the two of them. Just like what happened two years ago, after Judy's birthday. But this time, neither of them knew what to say right now. For Judy she was very excited to see Nick, but then most of that excitement vanished after a couple of minutes of being in Nick's home. So she's rubbing her right elbow with her paw, like it's sore.

Nick on the other paw also didn't know what to say. Because he wanted to ask her why she didn't mention her PTSD to him three weeks ago. But he thought better of it, in case he asked and it makes her upset. So after a few seconds of the uncomfortable silence, and looking at the state she is in now, noting how thin she looked and the scars on her face, he said in a calm tone getting her attention.

"You look like hell"

"Yeah"

DUN DUN DUN! Nick is dating Judy's brother Jared. He even found out about her mental condition, and called her over. Now the two of them are reunited. But the question is, will this reunion be good or bad? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE Review. Next time on Risen from the Dead: Bazinga no spoilers But again Please review.

**AN:[** 1\. The song I mentioned is this: watch?v=VVgixOjGhVU If you guys did what I said with it, then you would be shedding a couple of tears.

2\. The WildeHopps Valentine's day flashback here. I'm working on an NSFW Version of it, with a few drawings. I'm still busy with it, but once it's done I'll update the chapter notes, with a link in case you guys want to read it.

3\. That's a wrap, I'm done being so cruel to Judy. I'm going to be making things right for her.

**To all the Borba haters:**

Go ahead and hit me with your comments Like: "WTF Spectra, why are you being sympathetic to her?!" I couldn't care less.

**To the WildeHopps Shippers:**

Stick around, Nick and Judy will come back together as a couple, but I wouldn't tell you when it will be.

Special thanks to my friend Camossdarkfly for input regarding a certain part of this chapter

If you comment please keep it civil. I don't want a fight breaking out in the comment section.

Also if you have any suggestions, feel free to note me.

If you guys like my content. Please consider supporting on ko-fi: /spectra98

or

If you guys want to help me free up more time to draw then please subscribe to my : spectra98 every bit helps.

Zootopia and all related characters Copyright Disney

This fanfiction Copyright Spectra98

Have a nice day,

Spectra


	7. Chapter 7

It's time for the long awaited conversation between Nick and Judy. But it will lead to a burning question. After they reveal all of the things that has happened between them in the last year and a half. Will they be together again as friends or won't they? Or will they be able to mend their love bond?

Before you go and read let me just say: I am really sorry for such a long hiatus of this story update. Things IRL have been occupying my time and I tried my best to work on this update as much as possible. Not to mention this chapter was really long to write. So I broke it up into parts, that will be published in due time. Anyway, enough of my explanation go ahead and enjoy part 1 this chapter.

A/n: Zootopia is a one-party consent state. You'll see what I mean when you read it:

**Chapter 7: Reunion**

Disclamer:I do not own Zootopia or any of it's characters, they all belong to Disney. I also don't own any other content that get's mentioned. Rated T for Dark

"You look like Hell." Nick said after he looked at Judy for a moment.

When Nick said that Judy looked down at herself, and knowing how she looked from the times she saw herself in the mirror, she had to agree with him. Because she hasn't slept well in months, she has black bags under her eyes and her eyes are red and puffy from all the crying she's done. There's even tear stains in the fur on her face as well, along with the scars on her forehead and lip. Her fur hasn't been kept groomed either so it's a big mess. Also because she hasn't eaten a good meal in months, she has lost a lot of weight, so to any onlooker she would appear to have cancer, but of the terminal kind. Realizing this she said in a soft tone.

"Yeah." Judy admitted "I haven't been eating or sleeping well in the last couple of months."

"You hungry?" Nick asked as he got up from the sofa "I could get you something small to chow on."

"Nonono, it's fine." Judy said halting Nick "I don't have much of an appetite anyway." As soon as she said that, her stomach grumbled loudly to her response. Causing her to blush a little bit and look to the side, away from Nick.

"You wait here, I'll bring you a fruit." Nick said as he started leaving the room.

"Wait Nick-" Judy started but before she could say anything else, he left. Leaving her by herself in the living room. Except she wasn't alone, because she had her illusion self to keep her company.

"He's so sweet and caring." Illusion Judy said softly

"He is." Judy agreed before she turned around to face her counterpart "Look, I know that things are rough between us and he's dating our brother. But I want to make things right between us. So you don't have to remind me."

"Remind you of what?" Nick asked, sounding confused, as he came back with an apple. Causing her to turn and face him "Who were you talking to?"

"Um." Judy replied as she pointed at her illusion self, but then she saw that she wasn't there. So she said softly, while looking down "No one"

"Does this have something to do with your mental health?" Nick asked as Judy looked at him in surprise, confirming his question. "That look right there tells me that I'm right. Besides I did get that letter and blueberries you sent me."

"Really, you got that package?" Judy asked in disbelief

"Yes I did." Nick replied "Why, did you think I wouldn't get it?"

"I don't know." Judy replied as she looked down in sadness "I guess with everything going on, I assumed that you wouldn't. Or if you did, you would just toss it into the trash."

"I probably would, but I didn't. Because a part of me is worried about you." Nick said as he looked at the apple in his paw then back to Judy "Here you go." Nick then handed the apple to her, but she didn't eat it. Instead she just held it in her paws and stared at it for a moment before Nick said "Just eat it Judy, you're hungry and there is nothing wrong with it so enjoy it at least."

After Nick said that Judy looked back at the apple then took a small bite from it. Once the sweetness of the apple touched her taste buds, to her it felt like Nick was giving her a small peck on her cheek. It did make her smile a little bit, but it wasn't enough to make her feel better. However she did look up at Nick, with the same smile, and said softly "Thank you."

"You're welcome." Nick said as Judy took a bigger bite from the apple. While she was munching on the apple Nick looked at the scars on her face and asked "How did you get those scars?"

"Where did you get that ring?" Judy asked pointing at the Promise ring on Nick's paw.

The second after she asked that question, Nick looked at the ring on his right paw. Then he looked at the couch, for no reason, as he contemplated her question. After a moment he took a breath and said calmly "Wow, I invited you over here so we can talk about our issues. But instead we are asking each other questions."

"Sorry." Judy apologized

"Nah, it's alright." Nick said as he started to move towards the sofa "I mean things have happened in the past year and a half. So it's only natural to want to know what happened and how." Nick then sat down on the sofa while he looked at her as he continued "And considering us, and what's happened, I think it's best to have some ground rules for this talk. So I came up with some, you want to hear them?"

"Wait, I need to ask you something" Judy replied halting Nick "Have you ever had to deal with ghosts or voices of someone that wasn't really there?"

Nick was silent for a brief moment thinking about her question. He knew that she is still suffering from PTSD, so his gut told him that she was asking out of concern. But he also knew that her state is severe, if it was compared to what he went through. So he answered her in a calm tone.

"I have actually, several months ago after you know what." Nick said trying not to bring up any negative or emotional feelings they both had, after that 'fateful night' "Lara helped me work through it, and I thought I was in the clear. But then a particular voice came to me three weeks ago. In fact this one voice convinced me to contact you and invite you over today."

"You're welcome." Illusion Judy said to Judy, causing her to look at her counterpart in surprise. Judy looked back and forth between Nick and her counterpart, until she realized that her illusion must have somehow contacted him. She was about to say something to her counterpart, but then Nick cut her off.

"I take it a ghost is what's bothering you right now."

"Yes." Judy admitted "It's my old self, and she's standing next to me right now." She then motioned to the empty space next her before she continued "The reason I asked you is because, I just wanted to let you know that if I suddenly speak to someone else, that isn't here. It would be her."

"I'll keep that in mind." Nick said reassuring "But what did she say to you earlier?"

"When you left to bring me this apple. She said that you are so sweet and caring, which you are." Judy replied as she walked over to the couch. Then stood in front of him as she continued "And I took it as a sign that she wanted to remind about something she said before I came here."

"What did she say?" Nick asked sounding curious.

"She said that this talk, that we're going to have, could be my last chance to make things better between us." Judy replied "And Nick I want to make things better between us. Regardless of what's happened or going to happen or who you're with, I want to fix things between us."

"I'd like that too." Nick said as he motioned Judy to sit down next to him. As he watched her move to the seat, he noticed that she hasn't taken another bite from the apple he gave her. He thinks that she thought it would be a distraction. But she is hungry so he said "Y'know you can eat that apple during this talk if you'd like."

"Okay, thank you." Judy said as she took another big bite from the apple, while she sat down.

"You're welcome." Nick said calmly before his tone became a bit serious "Now is their anything else that you want to get off your chest, before we start?"

"Literally do that." Illusion Judy suggested, getting Judy's attention "Take off your shirt and your bra. He could like that sight."

"I don't think he will like it." Judy said, a little bit annoyed at her counterpart

"Like what?" Nick asked causing Judy to look back at him with a small blush. When he saw her surprised expression, he figured that her illusion speaking to her, so asked "What did she say?"

"Um, she said that I must literally take off my shirt and bra." Judy replied as her cheeks got a bit more warm "She said that you would like that."

"I probably would, but it would be weird if you did that right now. I mean considering us." Nick said trying to softly say that they weren't together right now. Which would make that action weird. "Anyway, is there anything else you want to say before we start?"

"Just a few things." Judy replied, as she looked at the apple in her paw, while taking a deep breath. "I've been thinking a lot about you, and other things."

"Okay." Nick said, unsure of what she's going to say.

"Nick, do you remember the day I was pregnant. When I told you, that if you left you didn't have to come back?" Judy asked as she looked at him and saw that he nodded 'yes' "I realized that you were just doing what I said, and I shouldn't have gotten too angry when you came back."

"Staying away wasn't easy for me. I was so heartbroken and angry that you chose your career over us. I actually wanted to do something to convince you otherwise." Nick said "Then the same day I left, I did something I regretted doing."

"What did you do?" Judy asked

"Well, before I say it. I think I should say the ground rules first." Nick replied "Unless there is more that you want to say."

"Just one thing." Judy said as she took a quick bite from the apple. She swallowed it then said "Nick, you were right from the start about everything. But I was very selfish and prideful to listen. Also I accept the fact that everything that has happened is my fault, but it was all for nothing."

"Wow Judy, I don't know what to say." Nick said sounding surprised "But I don't know if I was right."

"Well, you are right and I was wrong. So you don't have to say anything." Judy said in a serious tone before she looked down in guilt "It... It just took me too long to realize it."

"Hey, like the old saying goes; it's better late than never." Nick said softly while he placed his paw on her shoulder and gave her a reassuring squeeze.

"Thank you." Judy said as she relished from the squeeze. After a moment Nick removed his paw from Judy's shoulder, which made her feel a little sad, then she asked him "So, what are these rules that you have in mind?"

"Rule 1: No leaving the room or shoving each other out of the room." Nick started "Rule 2: Nothing but the truth. We got to be completely honest with one another, even if it hurts. Rule 3: The right to Veto. If a question is too much for one of us to handle, they can say Veto and the other has to be understanding."

"Those sound like fair rules." Judy said "But I don't plan to veto anything, you deserve to know the truth Nick."

"I appreciate that Judy, and I don't plan to do that either." Nick said while Judy took another bite of her apple. But then a thought came to his mind as he said "Oh and now that I think about it there should be one more rule."

"Okay, what is it?" Judy asked, after swallowing the apple bite

"Rule 4: Anger control, if things get a bit heated here. Like if one of us answers a question but it makes the other one angry. They should immediately stop talking and take a few deep breaths to calm down." Nick replied taking not of the confused look on Judy's face, so he clarified "I know that we both yelled at each other at times in the past. But there could still be a bit of anger towards one another, that's why I think we should have this rule."

"I understand that, but what made you think of that rule?" Judy asked

"Because Judy, a lot of the things that we did to each other. Like you slapping me, me leaving, us yelling at each other, me having that big speech where I said, Risen from the Dead and you having that speech about how you are Born to be Alive." Nick replied "All of that happened because we were angry with each other. So for this talk to go well, we both have to be calm and understanding as much as possible."

"Nick please, don't ever say that 'alive' part again!" Judy said more forceful than she wanted.

"Okay, sorry." Nick apologized, a little annoyed at her outburst, but part of him regretted saying the part that she was referring to.

"I'm sorry for shouting." Judy also apologized after calming down a bit "It's just, I don't want to hear what I said again."

"Well, it's understandable." Nick said sympathetically

"But that other stuff, does makes sense." Judy said, then she had a brief flashback to when she did slap him, causing her to look down in guilt and tears to well up in her eyes. Then Nick placed his paw on her shoulder again and gave her another gentle squeeze causing her to look at him then she said, while tears started to stream down her face "I'm really sorry I slapped you Nick. That was not fair to you."

"Thank you Judy." Nick said as he wiped the tears from her face as he said "But it's not healthy to dwell on what happened. What's done is done, nothing we say or do now will magically undo the past, even if we want it to be like that. What matters is what happens now, and what we can do for the future." After he said that, and after he wiped her eyes from the tears, he placed his paw on her cheek. Then he looked at her in her red puffy eyes as he said "Try not to think about it, okay?"

"Okay." Judy replied enjoying the feeling of Nick's paw on her cheek, making her smile a little bit, while it lasted.

"You can ask your question first if you want." Nick said while he removed his paw from Judy's cheek.

"Okay." Judy said as she looked down for a moment to think, before she looked back at him "How did you get back on the force, after you resigned?"

"Oh crap, I forgot." Nick replied as he gently facepalmed himself. "I told the others not to tell you."

"Tell me what?" Judy asked sounding confused

"I didn't resign Judy, I relocated to the Precinct in TundraTown." Nick replied "I've been there ever since I left."

"Wait you relocated?" Judy asked in disbelief

"I have." Nick replied "And I relocated, the same day that I found Josh and Skye in an alley outside my apartment building."

"Hold on, I thought they were Lara's kits?" Judy asked sounding confused

"No they weren't." Nick replied "Their last names were Winter by the way, before it became Wilde."

When he said that last name 'Winter' it sort of triggered Judy. Not like causing her to hallucinated, but it made her think. She felt like she heard that name before and now she's trying to remember from where she heard it. After a brief moment of contemplation, she now realized from where she heard that name. It was from an old case she did with Nick a few years ago. With this in mind she turned to him and asked, in a bit of a surprised tone. "Are they 'that' Winters kids?"

"Yes." Nick replied while sounding sad, knowing who she is referring to "They are the Former ZBI Agent Dean Winter's kids."

"Oh." Judy said sounding sad

"Are you thinking about the case we did, or the aftermath of it?" Nick asked in concern, but he had a small smile considering the latter

"Both." Judy replied sounding annoyed "But you said you did something that you regretted that day what was it?"

"Give me a moment and I'll explain." Nick replied

**Flashback to One Year and Seven Months Ago...**

Anger and sadness are two things that Nick felt today, but it was more anger than the other. Because he learned that Judy, the mammal that he loved more than life, is pregnant with their child but she doesn't want to keep the kit. More so, she made it clear that her career is far more important than him. When he voiced his feelings on the matter, instead of listening Judy slapped him very hard and made him leave. So even though he is angry with her, he had a feeling of sadness.

He packed up his things and moved back to his old place. Fortunately his old apartment was vacant after he spoke to his landlady. Then he unpacked everything as he contemplated what to do. He couldn't go back to work at Precinct one because he could run into Judy at some point. But he didn't want to quit the ZPD either, so transferring to another Precinct seems like the only option to him now. When he was done unpacking his belongings and packed them away. He decided to go speak to Bogo about a transfer, even though it's his day off. He only managed to get outside of his building when he heard what sounded like crying.

"Was that a kit?" Nick thought as he moved in that direction. He walked for a few seconds then he arrived at an alley, that's next to his building. He realized that the crying was coming from here, so he tried to call who it was. "Hello, anyone here?" He didn't get a response, but it caused the crying to be reduced to muffled cries.

Nick then proceeded into the alley with caution. As he walked he listened carefully for the muffled crying. As he got closer to the source, it sounded like it was getting louder. Which meant that he was close, he reached a dark green dumpster then peered around it to find the source of the crying. It was two fox kits sitting on the ground; one is a red fox kit, with similar fur to his own but he had white tipped tail and blue eyes, who is wearing a yellow shirt and light brown shorts, and a small arctic vixen next to him, who has the same eye color as the other one but she is wearing a pink onesie, and is holding a red fox plushie. Nick took note of their clothes having dirt spots and there are parts in their clothing that is torn. But what shocked him is how old they are by a glance. The red fox kit looked like he could be at least a year younger than five, while the little one is close to two years.

"Are you two okay?" Nick asked as he kneel down in front of them. But then he looked past them to see a black backpack, thinking that it might have their stuff.

"Daddy?" The red fox kit said sounding confused

"Dada?" The arctic fox kit said as she raised one of her paws in a 'pick-me-up' way towards Nick.

"Sorry kids, but I'm not your daddy." Nick said apologizing to them sympathetically. But when he said that, it caused the arctic vixen to start bawling. With instincts he never thought he had, he picked up the little vixen and cradled her in his arms as he tried to calm her down. "Shhhhh, it's okay Snowball no one is going to hurt you." The little vixen did calm down a little, then Nick turned his attention to the other fox kit, who looked like he was close to bawling as well, and asked softly "What are your names?"

"*sniff* I...I'm Joseph a..and she's..m..my sister Skye." Josh replied trying his best not to cry.

"Hey, come here." Nick said gesturing Josh to come towards him. When he did, Nick embraced both kids as they weeped on his shoulders. After a brief moment when their bawling had been reduced to sniffles, Nick said in a soft tone "Listen, it's not safe for you both to be here."

"Bu..But we don't have anywhere to go." Josh said through his tears

"Tell you what, why don't you both stay with me and we'll figure something out." Nick said as he patted Josh on his head gently "Okay?" Josh just nodded 'yes'. Then Nick picked up the backpack and placed it over his shoulder, then he picked up Josh. He carried both of them towards the entrance of his building, while he asked "What's in the bag?"

"J..Just our cwothes and some food, mister?" Josh said but didn't who this big fox is.

"Oh sorry." Nick replied as he stood by the entrance "I have a bit of things going on I forgot to introduce myself. I am Officer Nicholas Wilde of the ZPD. But you can call me Nick okay." When he said that, he looked down at Josh and saw the little kit nodding 'yes' while Skye simply sucked her paw.

"Nick?" Came a concerned voice

Nick looked up to see who it was; Olivia Langsten his landlady and close friend. She is a light brown furred lynx in her early thirties and is wearing a flower dress. He saw that she had a concerned look on her face, likely from seeing the two fox kits, who have worn and torn clothing, in his arms. Before he could say anything she asked, with a lot of concern in her voice "What's going on?"

"Olivia, I found these two kits close to a dumpster in an alley outside the building." Nick replied

"Oh the poor dears." Olivia said while she opened the door "Nick, bring them in." After she said that, Nick made his way inside the building with the two kits in his arms. When he was inside, Olivia closed the door behind him then she turned to face him and asked "Do you need any help? Or do you want me to call someone?"

"Thank you Olivia." Nick replied with a small smile "But I was actually going to call my folks and ask them to-" Before he could continue, his phone started to ring cutting him off. He wanted to retrieve his phone from his pocket, but he was still holding both of the kits in his arms. So he turned to Olivia with a strained smile and asked "Could you please help me get my phone? It's in the front right pocket."

"Sure Nick." Olivia replied as she made her way over to him. Then she dug in the pocket Nick mentioned and pulled out his phone. She saw who the caller was 'Mom' and said to him "It's your mom calling." After she said that she pressed the green answer button then placed the phone close to Nick's right ear.

"Hi mom." Nick said

"Hey Nicky, did you do it?" Marian asked in excitement

'Do what?' is a reflex question anyone would ask in a case like this. Being unsure as to what they were supposed to do. But to Nick he knew what his mom was referring to, and she was checking in on him. Unfortunately things happened today that kept him from doing it, so after breathing in a heavy sigh he said "Sorry mom I didn't."

"Why not?" Marian asked, her tone changing from excitement to disappointment

"Mom, something came up." Nick replied "Could you and Pop please come over?"

"Why what's going on?" Marian said now sounding concerned

"I'll explain when you guys get here." Nick replied "I'm at my old apartment building Mom, okay?"

"Okay Nicky." Marian replied "Do you want us to bring anything?"

"Well, just tell Pop that he needs to bring his sowing kit and if you can bring a couple of things to eat." Nick replied "I gotta go Mom, I'll see guys soon."

"We'll be there in a few minutes." Marian said "See you soon Nicky." After saying that last bit, Marian hung up the phone on her side.

When the call ended Olivia locked Nick's phone then placed it back into his pocket. Afterwards she turned to Nick and asked "Do you need anything from me?"

"Well if you happen to have any diapers or food, could you bring it to my apartment?" Nick asked

"But I'm not a baby." Josh whined, thinking that those things would be for him, causing both Nick and Olivia to look at him.

"I know sport." Nick said reassuring the tod "But I don't have any of the things I would need to take care of you and your sister. It's just for a while until I can. Okay?"

"Otay." Josh replied as he placed his head against Nick's shoulder.

"Don't worry sweetie." Olivia said to Josh, causing the tod to look at him "Things will get better for you, you will see."

"They will." Nick said then a thought came to his mind as he looked down at the kits in his arms "Oh by the way, Joseph and Skye this is Olivia Langsten. She is my landlady."

"Hi sweeties, nice to meet you." Olivia said as she patted them both on their foreheads

"What's a wandwady?" Josh asked as he turned to Nick.

"A 'landlady', or landlord, is someone who makes sure that mammals are living comfortably in their homes in buildings like this one." Olivia replied while also correcting the terminology for Josh. "One of which is Nick's, which we are going to right now." After she said that, she then made her way to the iron doors, that were a few feet in front of her, with Nick following suit.

When they arrived at the doors, Olivia pushed the up button to call the elevator down from it's previous postion. While they waited Josh looked at Olivia and asked "Do you aways check on oders to know if dey are otay?"

"Yes." Olivia replied just as the iron doors opened and they went inside the elevator. "I mean, there is a financial part of it. But it's something that the grown ups have to worry about. You kids don't have too."

"Was dat one of da tings dat was on your mind?" Josh asked turning to Nick, while the doors closed.

"Huh?" Nick asked not sure of what he was refering to

"Eawliew, you said dat you had tings on yer mind." Josh replied while Olivia pressed the third floor button and the elevator started to move smoothly "Is dat it?"

"Ohhhh" Nick replied now realizing what Josh was asking. "No, it's not that it's something else."

"Otay" Josh said sounding unsure of what the taller fox said "But, why do gwown ups say dat dey have tings on deir minds?"

"Well sweetie." Olivia replied suddenly, getting both foxes attention "When grown ups say that, it means that they are thinking about certain things. Things like, where they are going to live, their jobs, all of those things. Like for me, I'm thinking if I do have the things that Nick asked me earlier."

Before anyone can say of do anything else, the elevator came to a halt. Then in a second the iron doors opened revealing a hallway with a red carpet on the floor and beige wallpaper. There were a couple of wall mounted lamps that are also visible. Nick took a look around, noting these things, and realized that they arrived at their destination.

"Alright well, I'll see you in a bit Olivia." Nick said as he stepped out of the elevator, then he turned back around then looked down at the kids as he continued "Say bye to the nice lady kids."

"Bye nice wady." Josh said as he waved

"Bu ba." Skye said also waving at Olivia.

"Bye sweeties." Olivia said with a smile as she waved at them. Then she pressed a button then the elevator doors closed. But before they closed she quickly said "See you soon."

After they said their goodbyes, Olivia then ascended towards her apartment, that's on the fourth floor. While Nick set Josh back down on the ground so he could readjust his hold on Skye. Afterwards, he gave her a gentle nose boop that made her giggle which caused him to smile. He then looked down to see Josh looking at him with big sad eyes. He figured that he also wanted some affection like that, so Nick lean down and gave him a gentle nose boop too making Josh giggle as well.

"Can you walk by yourself?" Nick asked as he held out his free paw to the little tod to hold it.

"Mmhmm." Josh replied as he held the taller foxes paw.

The three of them then made their way towards Nick's apartment down the hallway. During the walk Josh placed his thumb in his muzzle and started to suck it. While he looked around the hallway, taking in the sights before he looked back up at Nick. He noticed that he has a scar on his face and he was gong to ask him what happened. But he asked something else

"Is wiving here da ting on your mind, mista Nick?"

"Not really, Josh." Nick replied "It's just something about my partner." After he said that he felt a tug on his arm. He looked at the source to see Josh looking at him with big eyes, like he is excited. Prompting Nick to ask "What?"

"I know you." Josh replied "Yer dat offica who caught da bad guy who made my daddy go nite nite foeber."

"Hehehe, yeah that's me." Nick said as they continued their walk to his apartment. Even though he isn't an actual parent, he did figure out what Josh was saying. As well as realizing that these two kids are ZBI agent Dean Winter's little ones. But it didn't help that the case caused him to start thinking about Judy.

"Are you going to get da bad guy who made my mommy go nite nite foeber?" Josh asked breaking Nick from his thoughts, while they arrived at his apartment door that's labeled 5A

Nick looked down at Josh in shock at what he asked him. He knew that after working that case he did with Judy several months ago, the kids of Dean Winter still had their mom. But after hearing Joshs question, it dawned on him that their mother has been killed. Realizing this he went down on his knees, still holding Skye tight, and he asked Josh in a soft voice "Your mommy went nite nite foeber?"

His only response from the tod was sniffles that were building up to him crying. Seeing this Nick pulled Josh into a tight embrace with his sister. Where the two of them silently weeped into Nick. A moment passed, when they both calmed down, then Nick said, with a lot of confidence in his voice. "Tell you what, I will get the bad guy that made your mommy go nite nite foeber."

"You will?" Josh asked with a small smile that creeped up on his face.

"I will." Nick replied, with a smile, as he got up and fished out his keys then unlocked his door. "But before I do that, I have to make sure that you kids are taken care of here." After saying that, Nick opened the door then motioned Josh to go inside, then followed as he closed the door behind himself.

They entered into Nick's apartment which is decently sized for them. Especially since it's in good condition and the same way he remembered, considering that he left several months ago to stay with Judy. They entered into the living room which had an HD Tv, a coffee table, light blue carpeted floors, a black sofa that faced the tv and is behind the coffee table. On the other side of the living room, opposite the front door, there's a doorway that connects the kitchen to the living room. The kitchen itself is also decent since it has tiled flooring, an oven and a pantry for canned goods, which is likely empty. On the right side of the living room, when you enter the apartment, is a hallway that lead to a bathroom, a closet and 2 bedrooms. The bedrooms were opposite each other.

"Can't yer pawner do dat?" Josh asked while Nick placed his keys on the cupboard next to his door.

"Uh no, my partner and I are not on speaking terms with each other." Nick replied as he moved towards the couch, then he set Skye and the bag on the ground. He didn't want to think about Judy right now.

"What does dat mean?" Josh asked as he sat sown next to his sister.

"It means that, we are not talking to each other anymore." Nick replied as he sat down, crossed legged, in front of Josh.

"Did somting happen?" Josh asked sounding concerned

"Well.." Nick started but stopped himself to think. The truth to that question is something he knew he shouldn't say to a kid. So after a brief moment of contemplation, he answered, albeit in the form of a lie "We argued about teamwork."

"Wat's teamwok?" Josh asked not understanding

"Teamwork is when a group of mammals work together on a task." Nick replied, then he decided to give an example as well "For instance, if you and your sister are my kids and we used teamwork here. We would be busy cleaning our home so we don't get sick or injured in the future."

"Otay." Josh said as he now understood what it meant. But part of what Nick said made a thought enter his mind that he asked with a bit of excitement as his eyes grew "Mister Nick, would you be our new daddy?"

When he asked that question, Nick stared at Josh with a stunned expression. Because today he learned that he was going to be a father with the mammal he loved more than life itself. But then she chose her career over him and their child, and she doesn't want the child. That alone basically killed him on the inside, he felt utterly destroyed soon after. Now he found two orphaned kids in an alley, and even though he only met them today. A part of him fell in love with them and wants to be their parent. But he didn't want to put a lot of hope into it, because what if something happens and he can't be their daddy. So after a brief moment he answered him in a calm tone.

"Let me first catch the bad guy, then we can talk about that. Okay?"

"Otay" Josh replied in excitement. But that excitement then changed to embarrassment when his stomach grumbled loudly, and he blushed a little.

"Sounds like someone is hungry." Nick said with a smirk, causing Josh to pout at him. Nick then pulled the backpack towards him and opened it then placed his paw in it as he said "Let's see what you kids have in here."

He shuffled around for a moment until he found a jar. He pulled it out and saw that it is apple sauce. He shook it and determined that there was at least a little over a quarter left in it. He looked back in the bag and saw a piece of cloth wrapped around something. He set the jar on the ground then took out the item from the bag and unwrapped it. He saw that it is a spoon and by the looks of it, considering their state, it's surprisingly clean.

"Let's hope that Olivia or my mom can bring something nice for you kids." Nick said as he picked up the jar and opened it then scooped a bit on the spoon. Then he looked at the kids and said, in a playful tone "Now, who wants something yummy?" After he asked that Skye was the first one to respond. Then he slowly leaned forward, with the spoon, towards her as she opened her mouth to receive the sauce.

"Is yer mommy coming here?" Josh asked as Nick scooped another spoonful of apple sauce for him

"Of course she is." Nick replied while Josh ate his bit of the apple sauce. Then Nick scooped another bit for Skye as he continued "She and my daddy are coming here to help me take care of you two."

"Does yer mommy know dat you and yer pawner are not talking because of teamwok?" Josh asked

"No, she's going to find out when she gets here." Nick replied as he feed Skye "But I'm a bit concerned about how she's going to react when I tell her. Because she wanted me and Judy, my partner, to be in a relationship. Like the kind you see mommies and daddies kissing each other."

"Eeww." Josh said being grossed out by that explanation.

"Hehehe, you say eew now. But someday you will think differently." Nick said as he scooped another bit of the sauce for Josh

"I still gonna say eeww." Josh said before he ate the apple sauce.

"If you say so Josh." Nick said with a small smile.

"Did you want da same ting yer mommy wanted fer you?" Josh asked

"Honestly, I do." Nick replied after he placed the spoon back into the jar. "But with Judy lacking teamwork skills. I don't see how we could be in a relationship."

"What happened?" Josh asked

"Let me tell you in a story." Nick replied as he set the jar on the ground next to him then he looked back at the two kids, who looked eager to hear the story, as he started. "A few days ago, there was this bad guy who did something very naughty and we both planned how to catch him. But when it came time to do the plan, she went on ahead without me and she completely ignored the plan we had."

"Did you catch da bad guy?" Josh asked incline with the story.

"We did." Nick replied "But the point is, Josh, is that we were supposed to catch this guy together as a team. But she chose to ignore me and went on ahead. We didn't speak to each other for a while until today. When I said that she was selfish, then she slapped me so hard that it gave me this scar on my cheek." Nick then pointed at the scar on his face, showing it to the kids.

"Wat does selfish mean?" Josh asked sounding curious

"Selfish is when you think about, or do something, for yourself and not think about others." Nick replied as picked up the apple sauce jar and scooped up the last bit of it as he continued "For instance Josh, let's say you are selfish. You would take the last bit of this yummy goodness for yourself and not let your cute little sister have any."

Nick then placed the spoon in front of Josh as he only took a little bit of the sauce. Then he moved the spoon in front of his sister who ate the last amount of the sauce and he smiled at her. Josh looked back at the taller fox who grinned at him as he said. "Looks like you are not going to be selfish at all, and it's a good thing sport."

"Mister Nick, have you been selfish befer?" Josh asked while Nick placed the jar and spoon on the floor.

"I have, and some of those times I was lying to cover it." Nick replied "Like this one time, my mommy made a very delicious blueberry pie for one of her friends and she told me to leave it be. I knew it was for one of her friends, but it looked so good I wanted a piece. So during the night, I snuck out of bed to have a small piece of it. Then in the morning when she saw the pie she asked me what happened to it. I told her she was imagining things and that the pie was okay."

"Didn't she find out dat it was you?" Josh asked in concern for Nick

"No, to this day she doesn't know it was me." Nick replied as there came a knock on the door and they looked in that direction.

"Nick it's me." Came Olivia's voice through the door

"It's open Olivia." Nick said as the door unlocked

As soon as it was opened. Olivia walked in with a packet of what he believes are makeshift diapers under her left arm. Then behind her came a fox couple that looked to be in their early forties. Nick quickly knew that they are his parents. His father, Noah Wilde, has green eyes and is wearing a light blue t-shirt and beige jeans. His mother, Marian Wilde, who is behind Noah has navy blue eyes is wearing a pink shirt and a purple jersey over it and blue jeans. She is carrying a pan that, with a quick wiff from Nick for confirmation, is the same blueberry pie he mentioned earlier. He then looked back at his father to see a bag underneath his right arm, which likely had his sowing kit.

Nick is grateful that his parents are here. But when he saw his mother, and considering what he said just a moment ago, he had a gut feeling that she heard everything he said. But before he could say or do anything, Olivia spoke.

"Your parents got here before me." Olivia said motioning to the fox couple behind her. While she closed the door.

"Hey Nicky." Marian said as she moved passed Olivia to hug her son while still having a good grip on the pan.

"Hi mom." Nick said, nervously while he reciprocated the hug. He looked up to see his father looking at him with a smile. One that he knew wasn't a genuine one, which confirmed what he thought earlier; That they both heard him. But he still said softly "Hi pop"

"Hey Nick." Noah said then he looked down to the curious eyes of the orphan kids that was here. Then he looked back at his son and asked "You going to introduce us to these kids, Nick?"

"Ah, yes." Nick replied while he broke his hug with his mom to stand by the little ones. "Mom, Pop these two are Joseph and his younger sister Skye." He then looked at the kids as he motioned to his parents, while continuing the introductions "Josh, Skye this is my mommy Marian Wilde and my daddy; Noah Wilde."

"Hi there." Marian said, to the kits, as she set the pie on the coffee table then went down on her knees to pat their heads.

"Hewwo" Josh said to Nick's parents.

"Ba" Skye said while she held Marian's digit

"How did you guys get here so quick?" Nick asked as he looked at his father in confusion. But with a bit of concern that they might be in trouble with the law.

"Well, there wasn't much of traffic at this time." Noah replied "And we were already in the car when you called. But by your tone on the phone, it sounded serious so we drove as fast as we could."

Nick then looked back at the exchange between the kids and his mom. It is an adorable sight to see. But he figured that they are just being that way in front of the kids. Because they have a bone to pick with him. He decided to face the music, so after taking a breath he asked "You guys heard what I said?"

"Yes we did." Noah replied looking at his son while his wife stood up straight "We heard everything from your explanation of teamwork until Olivia knocked on the door."

"And with that in mind." Marian said as she stood in front of Nick and gave him a hard headslap on the back of his head as she said "That's for lying to me back when you were little." She gave him another hard headslap "And that's for eating the pie when I told you not to." She gave him one last smack to head "And that's for going thirty years before you confessed."

"Wait, you knew what I did?" Nick asked while he rubbed the back of his head.

"Of course I did, I'm your mother." Marian replied in a harsh tone "But also you are the son of an honest tailor. You should know better than to lie about something Nicholas."

Nick looked down in guilt, with his ears being droppy, over his actions. Even though they were from when he was a kid. But also what his mom said. She is right, he should have known better than to lie. He felt so bad about it that he looked up at his parents and said softly "I'm sorry mom and pop, I really am. I felt bad about lying to you guys back then. I just wanted a small piece of that blueberry pie, and I didn't want to get into trouble for it."

"Oh Nicky." Marian said, dropping her maternal authority, and gave Nick a peck on his forehead "I love you sweetie, but you shouldn't have lied it's always bad." She then looked down at the kids who saw the whole exchange "And I want you kids to remember this. Lying is always a naughty thing. You understand?"

"Otay." Josh replied "But wat's a tawor?"

"A tailor is someone who makes clothes for other mammals." Noah replied then, with his tailor instincts, he did a quick scan of their clothes before he continued "Which I need to do for you kids, cause I can see that those clothes are worn out."

"But first, you two need a bath." Marian said as she picked up Skye, then looked at Olivia "Is the water still running here?"

"It should be." Olivia replied after thinking for a second. Remembering that a pipe needed to be fixed a few days ago for the building "And I also brought this, in case Nick was going to give them a bath." Olivia took a small bottle from her back pocket that said vanilla coconut fur shampoo.

"Excellent, thank you." Marian said as she received the bottle from Olivia. Then she looked at Skye with a smile as she said "Time for a bath little one." Marian then took a step forward in the direction of the bathroom. But then Skye spoke up

"Dada!" Skye shouted to Nick as she tried to reach him while still being in Marian's arms.

Nick watched as Skye kept trying to reach him. He felt that paternal instinct to hold her right now, even though she's not his daughter. But seeing as she is close to bursting into tears from the constant calling, it made him have a bit of a heartache. So he said to his mom while opening his arms for the kit "I'll take her mom."

"Okay Nick." Marian said as she passed the fussy kit to him. When the kit was in Nick's arms, Marian saw Skye quickly calm done and placed her head on his chest, where his heart is. The sight made Marian's heart melt as she said "Awwww, she just wanted her dada to hold her."

"He's not our daddy yet." Josh said getting the attention of the grown ups. "He said dat he has to get da bad guy who made my mommy go nite nite foeber first."

"Yes sweetie, I know." Marian said softly, feeling bad for these two kids. "But you also need a bath, so let's go." Marian extended her paw to the kit to grab hold.

Josh got up from sitting on the floor as he held onto Marian's paw. She and Nick then went to the bathroom with the kits, for their bath. When they arrived in the bathroom. They both removed the clothes of the kids, noting that their respective diaper and pull-ups are very dirty and smelled terrible. While Marian ran the water in bathtub for Josh and Nick did the same for Skye in the sink. Olivia came in to collect the clothes for Noah to sew and to place the disposable diapers in the trash. She then made her way to the front door saying that she will go and get baby supplies for the kids.

The next few minutes in the bathroom were spend cleaning the kids of the dirt in their fur. Both Josh and Skye seemed to enjoy the warm bubbly water they were in. The only sounds heard in the bathroom were of giggling kits and splashing water. But it was gone for a moment. Because a drop of the soapy water went into Skye's mouth and she wailed from it. Nick calmed her down by acting like he also tasted the 'nasty' water. His little act made her laugh. Finally it was time to rinse the shampoo from the kids during that time, Josh looked at Marian and asked her something.

"Miss Marian?" Josh asked getting her attention "Why do you want Mister Nick be to in a welationship with Judy?"

"Well, it's because of how he keeps talking about her." Marian replied "I would ask how she was doing today. Then he would talk for hours on other things about her."

"Mom!" Nick shouted in embarrassment

"What I'm only telling him the truth." Marian said, a little amused at her sons blush.

"Would you be mad if dey weren't in a welationship?" Josh asked as Marian unplugged the bath, draining the water

"You can just say 'dating' sweetie." Marian replied while she took him out of the bath and started to dry him with one of the makeshift diapers, which were just cloths, that Olivia brought. "But yes I would be mad, and I do want to know the details about it. I even brought that blueberry pie as celebration for them being together." Marian said that last part as she looked at the back of her sons head and saw that his ears are droopy.

"And what if she was sad dat she didn't dating Mister Nick?" Josh asked "Would you still be mad at her den?"

"I think you mean guilty, Josh." Marian replied while she placed a makeshift diaper on him "But it depends on what happened. So I won't make any promises that I won't be mad at her."

"Wat's guilty?" Josh asked as he stood up

"That's when you feel bad about something." Nick replied as he turned to face Josh, while holding Skye who is wearing a cloth diaper "Like earlier for me, when I was confessing my lie and selfishness. That was me being guilty."

"And it's good that you felt guilty." Marian said as she picked up Josh and continued in a maternal tone "Because that was a very naughty thing to do mister." Nick looked down in guilt over his actions again, but then he looked up at his mom. Because Marian gently patted him on his head as she continued "But you made up for it by telling the truth, and I'm proud of you for that."

"Thanks mom." Nick said with a smile

"But your still going to be punished." Marian said "No blueberry pie for you, for two months."

"What?!" Nick said in shock "But I'm an adult not a-" Nick stopped himself when he saw that his mom was looking at him with the 'Mother Stare'. The same stare from his youth that made him do what his mother wanted him to do. Especially when he protested against her. But also it made him shrink with a little fear "Yes ma'am."

"Miss Marian, can't he have a piece pwease?" Josh asked as he gave her a pair of sad eyes.

Marian looked at Josh's sad face then frowned a bit. Then she looked to her right to see Skye also giving her a sad face. She knew that they both wanted her to ease up on Nick's actions. As much as she knew she shouldn't, but it was two against one, she breathed a sigh and said "Fine he can have a piece. But afterwards no more for two months."

"Thanks mom, and thanks you kids." Nick said to his mom and the kids in their arms.

They both made their way back to the living room where Noah had just finished sowing the kids clothes. But they were still dirty so Noah and Marian decided not to give them back until they are washed. The four of them then sat by the coffee table while Marian took a knife and cut the blueberry pie into equal pieces for five mammals. The fifth piece would be for Olivia when she comes back later. They sat and ate their shares of the pie in piece, with Nick savoring his piece. When they finished their shares of the pie, both Josh and Skye looked sleepy. Nick picked them both up and carried them to one of the vacant bedrooms that will be theirs. He entered the room and placed them on the bed and he gently tucked them in. As soon as Josh and Skye lied on the soft bed, they were out cold. Nick gave them both a peck on their foreheads and left the room. He made his way back to the living room to see both of his parents sitting on the sofa, and from their expressions. They were waiting for him.

"So what's the real story between you and Judy?" Marian asked sounding like she's out of patience

"Okay, here it is." Nick said reluctantly as he stood in front of his parents. He then gathered as much strength as he could, even though it hurt to say it. Then he said solemnly "Judy is pregnant."

"That's wonderful Nicky!" Marian said in excitement as she got up and hugged her son with a heart full of joy. But during the hug, she felt that something was wrong. Especially since Nick didn't return it. So she stopped hugging him and saw a blank expression on his face. Prompting her to ask "What's wrong sweetie?"

"She doesn't want the child." Nick replied looking down in sadness.

After hearing this news, Marian looked back at her husband, shock, and saw that he also had an equally shocked expression. Then he got up from the sofa while Marian looked back at Nick and asked "Did she say why?"

"Yeah." Nick replied "She said that she's worried that the kid would be to big for her to handle."

"That is absurd." Noah said suddenly, getting Marians attention while Nick remained unfazed "I have hare-bunny couples in my store several times. Many of the hares, I have seen, are as tall as us foxes. So there is no way that the baby would be too big for her."

"There's also the matter of hybridization dad." Nick said still not looking up at either of his parents

"I stand by what I just said for that one." Noah said sounding a bit peeved

"Okay, that's enough." Marian said trying to calm her husband "What else did she say?"

"She said that our kit would be some kind of freak." Nick replied feeling pain in his heart by retelling the same words Judy said hours ago.

"Now that is just preposterous. I've seen hybrid kids and none of them are freaks. They just look like bundles of joy." Marian said "Besides that, everyone used to say that us foxes are not trustworthy and yet, here we are. An honest tailor." Marian motioned to her husband, then to herself as she said "An honest doctor." Then she motioned to her son "And an honest cop. Your sister is also a very good reporter."

Nick felt a little comfort in those words from his mother. But it wasn't enough to make him feel better. Since there was still one more thing that Judy told him about why she doesn't want to go through with the pregnancy. Which he decided to tell his parents. "There's one more thing. She said that if she went through with her pregnancy, she would have to quit her job at the ZPD. But she doesn't want that."

"WHAT!?" Noah and Marian shouted in complete shock. But quickly quieted down, for the sake of not waking the kids. Then Noah was the first to ask "Doesn't she know that her career would be on hold until she came back from Maternity leave?"

"It doesn't matter." Nick replied "From the way she said it, she made it clear that her career was far to important for the baby. Or between us for that matter."

Noah and Marian then looked at each other for a moment. They both could tell that Nick was still hurt on the inside from all of this. Without a second thought, they both pulled their son into a tight embrace while Marian patted Nick on his back. While she said "I'm sorry Nicky. Do you want us to do something about this?"

"No, but I do want to return this mom." Nick replied as he broke the hug to reach into his pocket. He fished out a small box, which is a ring box, then placed it in his moms paw. Marian looked at the box in her paw for a moment before turning to her son.

"You keep it, Nicky." Marian said as she returned the box to him. "Maybe someday she will think differently and then you can give it to her."

Nick stared at the box while contemplating what his mom said. He planned on giving the contents of the box to Judy today. But with everything that happened a few hours ago at her apartment, it ruined that plan. However what Judy said then went off in his mind and it tightened his grip on the box. Then with a determined expression on his face, as well as having an idea in mind, he turned to his parents and said "Not someday, tomorrow."

"What's happening tomorrow?" Noah asked out of curiosity.

"Nothing Pop." Nick replied then he took a deep breath to calm himself before he continued "It's just, if Judy truly loves me. Then she would use her investigation skills to figure out that I'm here and will be here by tomorrow at least."

"Wait, Nicky are you testing her?" Marian asked in disbelief

"I don't like the idea mom, but I don't have much of a choice right now." Nick replied "If Judy truly loves me, then she would be here by tomorrow morning at 7AM at the latest. If she's not then *sigh* then so be it."

**End of Flashback**

When Nick was done with his explanation, Judy looked at him with a shocked expression. She had to take a moment to swallow what his parents said about her fears that day. All of which are irrational, as her doctor said, and she accepted it. But one thing that she wanted to know was what his mom was asking about, between them. She decided to ask him later. However hearing what he did to her made her feel upset. But it was something that happened a long time ago, and Nick did say that he regretted it. But she still struggled to comprehend it. So after a brief moment of silence, she asked "You tested me?"

"I didn't mean to, but I had no choice that day." Nick replied "And like I said, I regretted doing it. I still do to be honest."

"Well when I didn't show up, what did you do?" Judy asked

"I took it as a sign that, you loved your career more than me." Nick replied "But I went to Bogo, the day before that, to be transferred to the precinct in Tundratown. I used the whole 'missing you' as a stupid excuse and worked on cases there ever since."

"But, what happened to their mom?" Judy asked as she took another bite from the apple

"That was my first case when I was at the Tundratown Precinct." Nick replied "The case file didn't give me much go on. But apparently she died in a mugging gone bad situation, and the culprit ran away before the police got to the scene."

"How did you catch them?" Judy asked a bit intrigued

"I didn't like doing what I did." Nick replied "I had to ask Josh for help on the case, because he saw the whole thing with his sister. I brought a sketch artist over, from the precinct, to my apartment while my parents were there taking care of the kits. I made sure that Josh was comfortable enough, then I asked him carefully what happened. But also so he could give enough details about the culprit for the sketch artist to make the drawing so we can make a bolo."

"So what happened?" Judy asked but then she mentally cursed herself for asking that question.

"Josh said that he, his mom and sister finished a meal at bugburga and were on their way home. When a stranger walked up to them." Nick said starting the explanation "From the details that Josh gave about this individual and my understanding of it. This stranger is their mom, Amelia's, ex, an arctic wolf, who wanted her back. But because she was a traditional fox, she didn't want anything to do with him. Unfortunately, he didn't take no for an answer."

"Wait, what do you mean by a traditional fox?" Judy asked sounding confused

"I'm referring to a trait us foxes have." Nick replied "When we see someone as our soulmate, we tend to stay bound to them. Even when they are gone. Which was the case for Amelia, when her husband was gone. Then this guy wanted her back and she refused."

"Oh" Judy said understanding what Nick said, but also secretly hoping that he would still see her as his soulmate. After a second of silence Judy asked, with a lot of concern in her voice "Nick, you said earlier that this 'ex' didn't take no for an answer. What do you mean by that?"

"Well when she said no, he pulled out, as Josh called it, a shiny object from his pocket and pointed it at her." Nick replied

"A shiny object and pointed at her?" Judy asked briefly before the wheels in her head turned. Then she figured out what it really was then asked the fox next to her "Nick this object wouldn't happen to be..."

"A gun, yeah." Nick said finishing her sentence "But in retrospect, it could also have been a knife. Anyway, he pointed the gun at her then he pointed it at Josh and his sister. Threatening to hurt them if she didn't take him back. But as you could guess she lunged at him, trying to protect her kits, and he pointed the gun back at her. Then the gun went off, shooting her in her abdomen around here." After saying that last part, Nick motioned to the area that's a little bit above his stomach.

"Oh no." Judy said with a shocked expression on

"After she was shot, she fell on the ground where she started to bleed while her ex ran away." Nick said "When he was gone, Josh ran over to his mom with his sister. Then they started to cry for her to get up. The commotion attracted the attention of some of the customers of bugburga. One of them called the police and ambulance to the scene. But by the time they got there, Amelia had lost a lot of blood and she died. Right in front of Josh and Skye."

"Those poor kids." Judy said softly

"Yeah, after Josh told me this story he wept into my shirt." Nick said as he placed his paw on his chest. Judy figured it was the spot where Josh was crying. "I caught this bastard in a park of all places, thanks to an anonymous tip. But as he was being hauled off to prison, and he is still there by the way. I made a personal promise to myself. No matter what individual or situation comes my way, I will protect Joseph and Skye for as long as I live."

"Those kids are so lucky to have Nick as their father." Illusion Judy said, getting her counterparts attention

Judy looked at her illusion self before she vanished. When she was gone, Judy thought about what she said a moment ago. She is right regarding the kids, but anyone would be lucky to have Nick as their mate. But when she thought about the kids a thought came to her mind as she asked "Wait, weren't they placed in an orphanage at some point?"

"They were in an orphanage sometime after their mom was killed. But the arrangements weren't good." Nick replied "I don't mean like the building was run down or anything like that. I mean the kids there were being very prejudice to them, and nobody punished those kids."

"You can't be serious Nick?" Judy asked in shock

"I really wish I wasn't Judy." Nick replied "But Josh had a fight with some of those kids, and he surprisingly got out of them without much injuries, from what he told me. But because he was a fox he got punished, while the other kids didn't. After sometime, Josh packed all of his and his sister's things into a backpack. Then he grabbed a few jars of food from the kitchen of the orphanage, and he even swiped a few of the toys from those kids that bullied him. Afterwards, Josh ran away from the orphanage, with his sister on his back. They've been by themselves for two days before I found them."

"It's a good thing you did." Judy said while Nick nodded in agreement "But weren't there any relatives who could have taken them in to their homes?"

"Not exactly, Dean and Amelia didn't have any siblings. So they don't have any Aunts or Uncles." Nick replied "But also the grandparents on the father side died, in a car crash, a few months before Josh was born." The expression on Nick's face changed from a soft one to an enraged one before he continued "But the grandparents on the mother's side are another story."

"What do you mean?" Judy asked, taking one last big bite from her apple. Then she held the core in her paw, not knowing if there is a bin to put it in.

"I spoke with some of Amelias friends and found out that her parents disowned her." Nick replied while having an annoyed expression on "They did it because Amelia wanted to marry Dean..."

"And they didn't approve of him." Judy said finishing his sentence, but also understanding that feeling of disapproval

"Exactly, the whole time she dated Dean they were horrible to them both. Then when it came time for the marriage. They cut her out of their lives, and never saw her since. But when I called them about Josh and Skye, they were atrocious. Let me play it for you." Nick said as he fished out his phone then unlocked it. He anticipated that Judy would ask him what he meant by 'play it'. So before she could ask him, he beat her to it. "My sister got me this app that allows me to record phone calls. She though I would need it as a police officer. But I didn't know that the calls I made were getting recorded most of the time. After a while I deleted the app but kept the recorded calls. I sorted a couple of them out, because most of them were with friends and family members. But not all of the calls are sorted yet."

"Don't you need a permit for something like that app?" Judy asked in concern that Nick might be in trouble with the law "Or rather, is an app like that even legal?"

"It's fine, I checked the laws about this app and as far as I can tell I was in the clear to use it. Because Zootopia is a one-party consent state. But I had to explained my usage of the app to my boss. He was mad at me, obviously, but I explained that the recorded calls I had were amongst family members and friends who already knew I had the app. So he let the matter slid that time, because I'm a good lieutenant. But he warned me that next time I wouldn't be as lucky. Which won't be a problem since I don't have the app anymore." Nick explained calming her worries, as he found what he was looking for. Then held out his phone as he continued "Anyway, here's the phone call I had with Amelia's mom, Bridgette." Nick press play then they both listened

_"Hello?" Bridgette answered_

_"Hi Mrs Tucker, I'm Officer Nicholas Wilde." Nick said introducing himself "I'm calling with regards to your grand kids Joseph and Skye Winter."_

_"Now why would you call me about those brats." Bridgette said sound angry_

_"I'm sorry?" Nick apologized, while not understanding_

_"Well you better be!" Bridgette shouted "Now listen here officer, my husband and I don't want anything to do with those kids. You do whatever you want with them."_

_"But ma'am, these kids have just lost their mom and you and your husband are the only living family they have left." Nick pleaded "Besides, Joseph is four years old and Skye is almost two. Can you reconsider, please?"_

_"Maybe I wasn't being clear." Bridgette replied "You can adopt them, sell them, whatever you want. But don't ever call about them again!"_

After that last part the call recording ended leaving Judy to stare at the phone in shock. She couldn't comprehend how Amelia's mom was so horrible about two orphan kids. She actually felt like tracking down this Bridgette Tucker and give her a piece of her mind, even though she isn't a cop anymore. Then tell her off about how rude she was being to Nick. But after a minute of silence passed, she asked while sounding upset "Did she really say that?"

"She did." Nick replied feeling the same way Judy is feeling right now. While he pocketed his phone, he continued "Turns out when the parents cut out the child from their lives. It also includes the grand kids."

"I guess her husband was the same way as her." Judy stated with a good guess on that interaction

"You would guess correct Judy." Nick said confirming her statement "He said the same thing his wife told me. But he also told me that if I called them again about the kids, they would sue me. He even had the gall to say that all ZPD members are wasting time when they make petty calls like that."

"Unbelievable" Judy said sounding angry

"Yeah, but I took their 'advice' and adopted Josh and Skye, after going through all the legal steps of course. I raised them ever since." Nick said trying to change the subject "But it was a bit of a challenge in the beginning. Because of the emotional scars they both had from recent events. I let them sleep with me at night sometimes, but there were other issues as well. In Skyes case, she couldn't be around kids at daycare without bawling a lot and I had to leave work to pick her up. As for Josh, he got into fights at pre-school a lot. But that was because the other kids were bullying him about what he's been through. Despite my explanations, the teachers there told me I had to take him out of pre-school so that he can work out these issues."

After Nick said that part, Judy had on a sad expression as guilt weight down on herself. Because she figured that all of this happened in the first few weeks after he left because of her. But also she thought that he had to do all of this by himself. That made her feel more guilt, as tears started to build up in her eyes while she said "Nick I'm really sorry that you had to go through all of that."

"It's alright Judy." Nick said as he patted Judy's shoulder for a moment, then he wiped her eyes, before he continued "I had help from my folks and Jared in taking care of them. Then after a while things actually got better for them. With Josh being able to go back to pre-school, but a different one, and from time to time Skye went to daycare without any trouble. As for me with some hard work at the ZPD I was promoted to the rank of Lieutenant. But even though all of this happened, I still had hope that you would contact me about your pregnancy." Nick then looked down to the floor as he continued "Unfortunately I realized that three months had passed since we last saw each other, and with no contact from you. I figured that you went through with the operation, then I was furious."

The guilt that Judy had grew further, after what Nick just said. It didn't help that her illusion self appeared and glared at her. She would have said something to her but fortunately Nick continued, before she had another burst. "I went to our usual drinking spot, at the Red Serpent, then I had a bit to much. Then in my drunk state, I thought of storming over to your apartment then asking you harshly 'how could you have done that without my consent'. *sigh* But I didn't."

"Why?" Judy asked a bit concerned

"Because Jared stopped me." Nick replied "He told me that if I did that, things would be a lot worse between us. So he took me home and I'm glad that the kids weren't home for what happened next. Because I slept with him."

"You slept with him?" Judy asked in shock, her only confirmation was a nodded 'yes'. But she noticed that he didn't look up at her, and from the look on his face, from the side, she could tell that something was off. Despite wanting to ask him what was wrong, she said something else "But I thought you never had an interest in males."

"Well there is some truth in that Judy. But also you were half-right when you introduced me as being gay to your family." Nick said then drew a deep breath, like he is about to do a confession, then looked at Judy in her eyes as he continued "The truth is Judy I'm Bi. I've been that way my whole life."

"I...I didn't know, Nick." Judy said surprised by what Nick said

"How could you, I never told anyone. Except my childhood friends, Finnick and Jack. Then later some new friends that I trusted from high school." Nick said solemnly "Because I knew that if others knew about me being Bi. It would cause a lot of tension between us and unnecessary drama from others. Like the time when we broke up because of our disagreement with your 'just friends' thing. If you knew I swing both ways back then, it would make you even more insecure about your relationship with me. I didn't want things like that to happen. So I kept my sexuality to myself, and played it off as being a little bi-curious."

That was a lot for to Judy to take in. But she knew from having so many brothers and sisters, it's not easy to come out of the closet. Especially if you fear that it could cause problems. So from the look in his eyes, she could tell that he had to muster a lot of courage to come clean with her. Then she placed her paw on his right knee and gave him a gentle squeeze as she said "Thank you for telling me Nick."

"It wasn't easy, Judy." Nick said with a small smile, while Judy removed her paw from his leg "But we did promise to be honest with one another, right now. So I had to tell you, and I should have told you sometime ago."

"So you slept with my brother?" Judy asked receiving a nodded 'yes' from him "But from the way you said it, it seemed like you didn't enjoy it."

"Well, yes and no." Nick said after a moment of contemplation "No, because I actually did enjoy having sex with him. Yes, because I didn't like the reason behind it; I used him. I was angry and drunk and I used him just to make myself feel better. Then in the morning I apologized to him for it, and even though he accepted my apology. I still feel bad for doing it to this day."

"Well how did he feel about this?" Judy inquired

"He enjoyed it very much and he said that we could do it more if I wanted. Without the alcohol part of course." Nick replied "I guess you could say that we got into a friends-with-benefits deal, but..." Nick looked down at his paw with the ring and gently caressed it as he smiled while he continued "He didn't know about it. But a week after that one time when he asked me out in front of you. I started developing feelings for him and they grew over time until that alcohol induced situation. Then they got stronger sometime after that time, until we started dating. Although it was a bit complicated how we got together, but after a bit talking we did."

"But if everything was going so well for you. What made you come back to me?" Judy asked then she mentally berated herself for asking that question. Because it caused Nick to stop caressing his ring and drop his smile.

"When almost a year passed since we last saw each other. I started thinking about you a lot, then I realized that I still have strong feelings for you." Nick replied then he looked at Judy in her eyes as he continued "Which makes sense, since we had a little wedding ceremony on Valentine's Day and with all the fond memories we have with each other. It, in my heart, made you my wife and soulmate Judy. So the idea of me being away from you for so long hurt so much."

"Oh Nick." Judy thought feeling so touched. She even felt the pieces of her broken heart repairing while he continued.

"Then one night, I went out for drinks with my friends Finnick and Jack. Then I poured out my heart to them on how much I missed you, loved you, cherished you and how you're my wife in my heart. Even if we're not married." Nick said as a small smile creeped on his face "Jack told me that if I loved you so much I should just go to you. Finnick backed him up by saying that if I didn't go, he would hit me on my head with a beer bottle." Nick then dropped the smile that was on his face as he continued "But when I exited the bar, I had mixed feelings about seeing you."

"What do you mean?" Judy asked feeling uneasy

"While I had the feelings of joy and excitement, there was also fear." Nick replied "Fear that things wouldn't go as I wanted, so I had to come up with a plan. On how to get you back if I lost your love. But I had a lot of things to think about. Like maybe you actually didn't get the abortion, but you were too hurt to call me. Or maybe you had the operation, and you were angry with me. But also considering how long we've been apart there was a chance that you were with someone else. That thought both scared and hurt to think about, but I had to factor that in. I also had to keep in mind that you are my wife, in my heart, so I had to factor that as well."

"So what plan did you come up with?" Judy asked having done the same thing with Nick weeks ago

"Honestly, I didn't come up with a plan because there were a lot of scenarios that could happen." Nick replied "The scenarios I had in mind were; 1) If you didn't have the operation and kept the baby but you were in emotional turmoil over what happened between us. I actually hoped for that scenario, because I knew how to help you bounce back from your turmoil. 2) You had the operation and are angry with me. If that one was the case, you wouldn't talk to me. So the only way I could get back inside your home, and I didn't like it, was to hustle you. Then I would try to talk you down from your anger and give me a chance. The last scenario I had in mind is pretty much like the previous one, but on top of that you would be with someone else. That last one scared me, but I had to think about it. If that one was true, I had to think about how I was going to get you to give me another chance. Which shouldn't be hard since you're my soulmate. But that would, likely, put you into a position where you would have to decide who to be with, me or this other mammal. Although in some cases of a love triangle like that, it would lead to a polyamorous relationship. But a case like that is really rare."

"That was a lot to think about Nick." Judy said understanding his position back then "Did you think about all of this while you were heading to my apartment?"

"Yeah, but I didn't head to your apartment immediately. I just kept wandering around TundraTown thinking about all of this, trying to come up with a good plan to get another chance with you." Nick replied then he looked down in guilt "But then I came across a hooker on the side of the road, an arctic vixen, and with my drunken state. I'm sure you can guess what happened next."

"You slept with her didn't you?" Judy asked rhetorically having a good guess on what happened. Her only response was a nodded 'yes'

"Later, after my little fun activity with her, I mentally berated myself for doing it." Nick said as he looked back at Judy "A voice in my head went something like." Nick then raised the volume of his voice, like he is yelling as he said "You idiot! Our wife is out there probably sad, angry or with someone else and what are you doing?! Shacking up with a hooker for what? A little fun? Well that's over now! Get your ass up and go to her!" After saying that last bit, Nick lowered his voice volume so he can talk normal "Then after paying the hooker I ran like a madmammal to your place. Then we both know what happened after I arrived."

"I'm really sorry for that Nick." Judy said with droopy ears and guilt weighing down on her heart "Really. No tricks, no setup, no nothing a 100% genuine I'm-" Judy tried to apologize again but was cut off by Nick. Because he placed his paw on her muzzle stopping her

"I believe you Judy, I do" Nick said while he removed his paw "But most of the things that happened that night, I expected. Like I expected you to be angry with me, which sucked. I also expected you to tell me that you aborted my kid, which hurt a lot to hear you say, and you being with someone else. But what I didn't expect was that the 'someone else' is female. That threw me off because from the time I've been with you, you haven't shown any interest in females at all. Or did you long before we met?"

"No interest at all in my entire life, until I met Shay." Judy replied honestly "At that point, I just thought of her as my 'ray of sunshine' in my dark times. But, now that I hear myself say it out loud. It sounds incredibly stupid."

"I guess." Nick said solemnly

"Nick can I ask, what happened after I... shoved you out?" Judy asked already feeling like she is going to regret it.

"Well, after you did I was going to bang on the door again. Begging you to give me a chance, but then I heard you kiss Shay and said that you felt much better." Nick replied then he closed his eyes and grasp his chest, where his heart is, like he is suffering a heart attack as he continued "I felt so utterly destroyed I ran out of your apartment building. All the while fond memories we had together flashed through my mind, but they all turned to dust. In the thought that my wife and soulmate stopped loving me and is with another mammal."

"Oh Nick." Judy said softly, feeling tears welling up in her eyes. While Nick stopped grasping his chest

"When the morning came, I called my boss at the precinct. Then I requested a week of absence, using my vacation time." Nick said "And if anyone were to ask him about my whereabouts, he had to tell them I was on an undercover assignment. But in reality I checked into a motel in TundraTown and I tried to get what happened out of my head. It just sucked that I had to lie to my mom and kids one time."

**Flashback to Seven Months and a week ago:**

Another day had gone by for Nick without sleeping or eating anything. Not like he could do either, since it's been three whole days since he last saw Judy. But that night still haunted him. He called his boss a few days ago and asked for a week of absence. Because in his current state, he's unable to perform his job, both physically and mentally, efficiently. Since then hes been in this motel room, that he's currently in, trying to comprehend the events of his last met with Judy. He sat in the corner of his room on the floor, like a kid being sent to time-out. But it didn't help much that he had the engagement ring, that he got from his mom to give to Judy, with him. The dream he had of a big family with her is gone, along his wife and soulmate and child. Then out of the blue his phone went off with a call. With agonizing slowness he fished out his phone from his pocket and saw that the caller ID read 'Mom'. He accepted the call then placed the phone by his ear

"H...Hello?" Nick answered

"Nicky where are you?" Marian asked in a concerned tone "I'm here with kids outside your apartment, but you're not here."

"I.." Nick started sounding weak, but then he heard a voice, in a harsh tone.

_"Leave me alone Nick, and never come back."_

When he heard that voice, recognizing it as Judy's, he looked up and saw nothing. But when it was gone, it caused a dagger to be pierced into his already broken heart. Making him feel as if he is suffering a heart attack. He remembered that he is still on the phone with his mom, considering how worried she could be from time to time. He took a deep breath then answered her question. "I'm on an assignment, mom. It came in a few days ago. I'm sorry I forgot to tell you."

"That's what your boss told me." Marian said "But are you sure you're okay, Nicky?"

"Dada?" Came a familiar voice through the phone.

Nick recognized that it was Skye calling him. But just hearing her innocent voice calling to him, caused another dagger to pierce him. Making the pain in his heart more severe. Then out of the blue Judy's face appeared in front of him. The look she was giving him along with what she told him went off in his mind.

_"Yes Nick, I did."_

After she said that, he blinked his eyes then she was gone. He thought he was going crazy, which would make sense. Because he hasn't eaten or slept in days. But also, he is suffering a painful heartache. Due to losing the love of his life, which caused tears to well up in his eyes. He would have called out to her had it not been for his daughter calling him again "Dada?"

"I'm here Snowball." Nick choked on a sob while tears started to stream down his face "But I got to go, I got to catch this bad guy. Mom, I was hoping that the kids could stay with you and Pop for a while longer."

"Of course Nicky, just stay safe." Marian said then through the phone she turned to the kids "Say bye bye to Dada, kids."

"Ba ba dada." Skye said

"Bye daddy!" Came Josh's voice "Catch da bad guy fer us."

"I will, bye." Nick said as he ended the call.

All the while his heartache grew more intense by the second. Then he held his phone in his right paw and looked at his wallpaper. It was a selfie of their anniversary, with Nick wearing his Michael Jackson outfit and Judy wearing a very revealing lingerie. But it wasn't the outfits he was looking at, it was the genuine heartfelt smiles they both had on their faces. He couldn't help but smile fondly at this one picture. He remembered that their anniversary started off rocky, but they made it workout in the end. As much as he didn't want to admit it, all the fond memories he has with her are gone now. It's the same case with the engagement ring in his other paw, that he wanted to give her. It didn't help that Judy's voice came back with the same harsh tone, but with a lot of venom in it.

_"Do yourself a favor and stay out of my life, Forever! Goodbye Nick!"_

As her voice started to fade. He can see the door slamming shut so clearly, it's like he is reliving that event from three days ago. It felt like he was reliving that traumatic night again. Since it caused his paws to shake, which made him lose his grip on the items in his paws.

"She's gone, she is really gone." Nick thought as he watched the engagement ring and his phone slip from his paws and they both fell on his tail and they went onto the floor. He took a deep breath then he gathered as much strength as he could, while his eyes closed, then he shouted "CARROTS!"

**End of Flashback...**

"*sigh* Suffice to say, when my supposed week of under cover work ended. I attempted to take my own life." Nick said solemnly "I walked through the streets of Zootopia ignoring the morons that got in my way, but also I kept hearing your harsh voice in my mind. The place I went to, to end my life, was the same place where you apologized to me for what you said at the press conference years ago. While I was there, that memory went off in my head. As well as it appearing in front of me, if you can believe it. But it did make me lose my focus, hence my suicide attempt failed. Which I am glad about."

"Why?" Judy asked while still feeling relieved that he didn't die

"Because if I had died then Josh and Skye would have gone through the pain of losing a parent all over again." Nick replied "I couldn't let that happen so... I'm just glad I'm still alive for their sake. As well as for you."

"What do you mean, for my sake?" Judy asked sounding confused

"Well, besides them suffering the pain of loss. It would make what you are going through way worse." Nick replied "Everything that's happened to you would happen a lot sooner than it did. But also, you would have this undying guilt weighting down on you. That you would have to carry for who knows how long."

"Gosh Nick, I don't know what to say." Judy said "But for what it's worth thank you. Thank you for staying alive, not just for this stubborn bunny but for those kids who needed you. As well as anyone else that needed you in their lives."

"Don't mention it Judy. Although, because of my failed suicide attempt I fell into a coma. That lasted almost an entire month, before I woke up in a hospital." Nick said with a small smile before he dropped it as he continued "But I have to admit, when I had my PTSD. It was centered around that night. Everytime someone mentioned you or even the thought of you came to mind. I would always flashback to that night and hear your harsh voice. But the worst part was when I see you and saw that straight face as you said." Nick then mimicked Judy's voice as he said "Yes Nick, I did." He's voice then returned to normal as he continued "You took the life of an unborn child, my child, without remorse. That was the worst part for me."

Judy looked down feeling really guilty. She knew that she was responsible for all the pain that Nick has gone through in the last couple of months. But hearing that the PTSD that he got was centered around that one night and what she said to him. It placed more guilt on her heart. Unfortunately it caused her illusion counterpart to appear and say in a soft tone, looking at Nick. "Poor Nick, he didn't deserve any of that." Then she turned to face Judy and said in a harsh tone "You on the other paw do."

"Will you shut up!" Judy suddenly bursted as she threw the apple core at her, with as much strength as she could. But as she just vanished the apple core hit the wall at the opposite side of the living room. Seeing this she took deep breaths to calm down then looked at Nick, who had a shocked expression on. As she said "I'm so sorry for that Nick. I-"

"It's fine Judy. I know that your counterpart was bugging you again, and your outburst was kind of expected." Nick said sympathetically as he got up to pick up the apple core. Then he tossed it in a bin near the door. "I mean, a lot of mammals who had PTSD in a similar case like us also wanted their hallucinations to end. So don't worry about it."

"Okay" Judy said reluctantly. Then she decided to get back to the subject of their conversation, even though she didn't want to. But she knew she had to if she wanted Nick back in her life. So she said "Um Nick, you said that you were in the hospital. Can I ask, what happened while you were there?"

"Well, like I told you I was in a coma that lasted almost a month. When I came out of it, I met Lara. Who was taking care of me both during and after my comatose state." Nick replied as he sat back down on the sofa. "One day when I was out and about in my hospital room. I was reunited with my in-laws, your parents, as Lara called them. Apparently they had been visiting me for that month, chatting with my parents about you."

"What did they say?" Judy asked in a curious tone

"Before I tell you what was said, I need to ask you a question first." Nick replied before he took a deep breath. Then asked her in a calm tone "Judy, why didn't you come visit me at the hospital? I mean I understand that I was an ex and you hated me at the time. But I know that Shay told you I was there and she kept pushing you into visiting me, but you didn't. Why?"

"At the time, I thought you were trying another hustle to get me to give you compassion. So I refused to visit you because of that." Judy replied feeling guilty and regretful with her decision back then. She heard him groan from her answer and she knew she had to do something quick so she continued "But besides that, it's the whole visiting an ex that seems far-fetched. I mean did you visit any of your exs, beside me?"

"Well only three exs I see a lot, because our relationships ended mutually. Lara is one of those exs by the way. However there was another one but he wouldn't let me talk to him after what I did." Nick replied solemnly "But even if that chance meet came, there won't be much of a point to it. Also another ex won't let me visit them, despite what happened the last time I saw her was an accident."

"Wait, you were really around other exs?" Judy asked sounding shocked at what she was told. But also having a lot of questions to ask him.

"Give me a moment to explain them, Judy." Nick replied softly and she complied with his request with a nod "The one ex was the very first guy I dated in my entire life; his name is Evan. He's a silver fox, with amazing blue eyes. We met and dated in high school. We got on really well, but so well to the point that both of our moms were asking about us and wanted to meet the other one. So to get them off our backs we both told them the same story; the other one has severe social anxiety, so the thought of meeting the parents scared them. That story worked and both of our moms stopped prying. But they still kept asking simple questions about the other, like 'How were they doing today?'. Although when a month passed into our relationship, he confessed that he wasn't into guys. But then I thought that he was into guys and girls, like me. But he wasn't, he was straight the whole time."

"Oh Nick, I'm so sorry." Judy said apologizing, even though the event happened years ago

"Nah it's okay Judy, he apologized and explained how he has a fetish of fooling around with a friend who is gay. He developed this fetish from watching a lot of gay porn videos, and he wanted to experience. He said that we could still be friends if I wanted, which we did." Nick said with a small smile "But even though we ended the relationship mutually, it still felt like we were together dating afterwards. Because we always went to the same bakery where he buys me blueberry muffins. Going to the cinema to watch movies, all those things." After saying that last part, Nick's smile dropped as he continued "But the whole 'still dating' thing, and the part about us actually dating in the beginning, was from me, not him. One day I told him about it and I expected him tell me stop hanging around him, but he didn't. Instead he placed his paw on my shoulder, and he said that one day a special someone, guy or girl, will come into my life and make me feel so happy and loved. I was a little emotional then, that I kissed him. There was no push back as I expected, but after the kiss he told me that when this special someone comes for me. He would tell them to punish me for kissing him, but not break up with me. Then I retorted at him saying; that for a straight guy, he did like being kissed by someone who is Bi. We continued our friendship until one day he had to leave for college in another state so he could pursue a degree in business. We stayed in touch though, then he came back to Zootopia, several years ago, and worked in a Multinational company. I still look forward to telling him how right he was, when he said that I would met that special someone."

"That's nice to hear Nick." Judy said softly, but then she thought of something that made her ask in concern "Were the other exs like that?"

"Just another, a girl named Angelia." Nick replied "She was the first bunny I dated in my life, who had dark brown fur. We were friends in high school then when we left, we talked about dating. We both knew that we would get judged by others for dating, since we are predator and prey. But we didn't care about others opinions, and even told a couple off. Then we gave dating a shot, although we got on so well, there was no spark as we thought. So we decided to end the relationship and go back to being friends. But I found out, sometime later, that she works at the Red Serpent, as a bartender, and is dating Gabe. I am happy for her, and it came with a nice deal for me. From time to time, Gabe would ask me tips and advice on how to get Angelia to like him more. As payment, for all my help that worked, Gabe would let me order drinks and it will be on the house most of the time."

"That explains how we got our drinks and didn't have to pay half the time. All of your advice helped him out." Judy said, after a moment of thinking "And explain when I saw her hugging you a few times." After saying that last bit, Judy looked down in guilt as she said "Although I have to admit and apologize right now. All those times I saw her hugging you, I thought that you were cheating on me with her. I"m sorry Nick, I really am."

"Thank you Judy." Nick said accepting her apology "But like I told you several times, she and I are just friends. So you didn't have much of a reason to be insecure regarding her."

"Yeah." Judy said shyly in agreement, then she tried to change the subject as she said "But you said that you did something to one of your exs that you regretted. Who was it and what did you do?"

"He was another guy I dated, named Daniel. I dated him sometime after my relationship with Evan ended." Nick replied "He's a grey wolf and he was your stereotypical popular guy in high school. He had excellent grades and good looks, which made me jealous, and he had a good position at his part-time job earning a really nice salary. But also the obvious thing that other girls were crushing on him. I admit I was the same as those girls. Once I tried my luck in asking him out and to my surprise, he agreed. Which was weird to me. I mean, why would the popular guy date me when there was all those other girls he could have dated. That, and my relationship with Evan, made me feel insecure. Because I thought that he would drop the bomb that he is actually straight, or some other reason. So, I unconsciously did the same thing that you did to me, the 'just friends' thing, to him. Boy that was a mistake."

"He dumped you, didn't he?" Judy asked already knowing what likely happened

"Yeah." Nick admitted softly "But before that happened, he talked to me about being casual with him and I explained to him why I did it. Then he told me something that shocked me. I actually thought that he was straight, or that he is Bisexual like me. But the truth is, he's actually gay. I was truly stunned by this news. But yeah he dumped me, which hurt a lot because we were together for a year and a half. Then I tried to contact him to apologize for what I did. I tried calling and texting him to apologize, but he didn't respond to anything. Once I even came to him at school, again trying to apologize. But he told me that if I didn't stop bugging him, as he put it, he would make my life a living hell. I had a gut feeling of what he meant by that; that he would reveal my sexuality to everyone and mock me constantly. Then I reluctantly agreed to do as he told me. Which wasn't easy, because I kept running into him at school and each time I wanted to apologize again. But he would look at me with disdain, then I would run to Evan for comfort. I didn't like doing that, but he just made me feel better and cheered me up a bit. But to be honest, I ended up crying myself to sleep every night for two months straight because I missed him so much."

"I'm sorry Nick." Judy said sympathetically as she patted him on his shoulder

"Thank you Judy." Nick said softly "However I haven't seen Daniel since high school and, like I said earlier, even if we met up at some point there won't be much to it. Since he would still be mad at me. But after putting Daniel through the 'just friends' thing and then years later experiencing the same thing from you, I learned something very important."

"What is it?"

"If you have really strong feelings for someone, whether they are the same sex, same species, different species, whatever they may be. You mustn't hide your true feelings, but express them." Nick replied putting all of his heart into the explanation "I mean sure, you will face obstacles that are out of your control like parents not approving your partner, facing rejection all of those things. But at least you're honest with yourself, cause if you're not. It will create the illusion that you are ashamed and embarrassed by your partner or ashamed at yourself for having feelings for them. Which is why I was so angry with you when you put me through it. But one would say that Karma did justice on me for what I did to Daniel and I accept it. Because I learned a valuable lesson and I won't be doing it again."

After Nick said that last part on his bit about the casual arrangement, the living room fell into a bit of silence. It lasted a few seconds with both fox and bunny having different thoughts. For Nick, he started to think about Daniel. Even though the incident happened years ago, he can still remember the look of anger and sadness clearly on his face. He still wish he could tell Daniel how sorry he was for putting him through the arrangement that he disliked.

For Judy she thought about what Nick said moments ago. She knew that the 'just friends' thing was terrible, and she regretted putting Nick through it. Especially since it costed her, her relationship with him. But what surprised her is that Nick did the same thing to someone else. While she thought about it she felt guilt building up. But she knew she had to stop, otherwise she would hallucinate again. So after another second of silence she asked softly "Nick do you still have feelings for Daniel?"

"*sigh* I'd be lying if I said I didn't." Nick admitted "I told Jared about this and that I still want to apologize to him. He said that if Daniel did accept my apology, and wants to be with me again. We would cross that bridge when we get to it." Nick then looked down at the floor, with his ears droopy, as he continued "But I know that if it happens, it would put me in a love triangle with both Jared and Daniel."

"Or a love square if he included you." Illusion Judy said suddenly in Judy's mind.

Judy heard that comment then thought for a brief moment on it. A mental image of Nick having to pick one out of three mammals to be his mate sounded scary. But she shook the thought from her mind and turned to him and asked. Trying to get the image from her mind. "Nick what about the other ex?"

"Judy, why are you so interested in my exs?" Nick asked as he faced her in confusion.

"Well, I did ask you about your exs and you said that you would explain them to me." Judy replied sheepishly "But also, I wanted to get your mind off Daniel. Because I can see that you're still in a bit of pain over him."

"Thank you for that, Judy." Nick said softly "Well the last ex, who I tried to see, is Carlay. She's the red vixen you saw me with at the diner two years ago, remember?"

Judy looked at Nick with a bit of confusion until it hit her. She remembered that after they broke up in front of the deli, Nick went in by himself. Then while she was silently expressing how bad she felt for what she did. She looked into the deli, through the glass windows, and saw a red furred vixen walking up to him and started chatting with him. She realized that it was Carlay that spoke to him. After a moment of thinking she asked him in a curious tone "What happened?"

"Before I get to that, let me explain a bit about her." Nick replied "She's an only child raised by a single mom. Because her father walked out on her mother a few months before she was born. So she had to grow up without paternal love and care. But it didn't affect her as much, as she told me. But when it was time for her to start dating it was a nightmare."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, she always attracted the worst kind of guys." Nick replied sounding annoyed "Some of the guys she dated were only with her for sex, nothing more. They even emotionally abused her. So she dumped them, then later she dated a sugar daddy who showered her with really expensive things. Like jewelry, expensive dress all of those things. You name it and she would get it from this guy."

"Why did he do that for her?" Judy asked sounding curious

"As it turned out, the guy was headed for a divorce with his own wife. So he showered younger girls with gifts to make the wife jealous and want him back." Nick replied then he saw a confused look on Judy's face so he explained "Carlay knew about all of this, because she met the rich guys wife and she explained this to her. The divorce eventually came for the couple and Carlay ended things with this guy. She kept the stuff he bought her. Then she sold most of it on online auctions, but kept only a few things for herself. The profit she made was so massive, she paid her college tuition, for a teaching degree, and helped her mom with her expenses. But she still has more than enough money to be financially set for the rest of her life."

"Did she ever try dating again?" Judy asked

"She told me that after she got her degree and got a teaching position at Pawson Star Junior, where your sister teaches, she did." Nick replied "But it was again the worst kind of guys. However they did appear to be nice to her at first. But later it turned out they had another girlfriend that they were dating in secret. For instance, lets say you're dating me but you're dating Shay as well in secret and I don't know about it. It was like that for Carlay."

"Unbelievable." Judy said sounding annoyed "How did she feel when she found out?"

"Pretty much as you can expect; enraged and sad." Nick replied solemnly "So she ended her relationship with those guys immediately when she found out. The girlfriends of those guys dumped them too, which is considered karma or justice. Carlay told me this when she found that out. Although after I thought about the situation, it seemed as if those guys were trying their luck in dating two women at the same time and it didn't work. But she's been by herself ever since until she dated me. Which could explain why our relationship went too fast."

"What do you mean 'went too fast'?"

"We dated for a month, then she moved her stuff into my apartment and we continued our relationship for another month until you came around." Nick replied "When I told her about us going too fast, she told me about her love life like I just told you. Then she said how I'm this 'once in a life time' kind of guy that anyone would want to be with. Someone who truly loves and cares about you, and would spend a good amount of their time to make you feel special and loved. Also someone who truly loves you for who you are, and not by what you have or what species you are. That's what Carlay said I am apparently."

Judy couldn't help but to make a small smile at that comment. Memories of how Nick treated her with so much love filled her with a lot of joy. Even though they aren't together, those memories still made her smile. But then she thought about the part, Nick said, when she came back so she asked "Nick what happened, between you and Carlay, after I came back?"

"Well when you did, she thought that I was like those morons who had a secret girlfriend while dating her." Nick replied "I went to her to apologize and explain our situation. But that's when she gave me some bad news that happened to her at the time."

**Flashback to 1 year and 9 months ago...**

Nick felt really bad for what happened with Carlay, two days ago. He knew what she's been through and she now has a bit of a misunderstanding with him and Judy. So he decided to go to her place, which is in Zootopia Central, to explain the truth. He put on his casual clothes, that consisted of a navy blue ZPD training shirt and black sweatpants, and took a bus to her apartment building. When he arrived he entered the complex and made his way to her apartment on the third floor. Along the way he started to contemplate on how to explain the why's and how's of the just friends arrangement to her. He figured he could tell the truth and it would be alright, at least from his point of view. But from another it wouldn't seem that way. He didn't realized it but, during his contemplation he arrived at her apartment. However as he stood there he had a gut feeling that something was wrong. So he took a deep breath and raised his right paw to knock on the door.

"Carlay! It's me Nick." Nick said revealing himself, but didn't get an answer "I came to check on you and see how you are doing."

"I'm fine Nick, go away." Carlay said in a shaky tone.

Nick didn't believe her when she said that she was fine. So he continued pressing as he said "Look I just want to talk to you about me and Judy, and-"

"GO AWAY!" Carlay shouted cutting Nick off.

After she shouted, Nick took a step back from the door. He is stunned at the outburst. The whole time he was with her, in these last two months, she had never shouted at him which made him more surprised. But a few seconds after the initial surprise, he walked back to the door and knocked as he said "Carlay, I'm not going to leave until I talk to you. Please just give a chance to explain myself that is all I'm asking, please."

After the plea, Nick honestly thought to himself that he wasn't going to get that chance. But then he heard the sound of a lock click. Signalling that the door is unlocked and Carlay was about to open the door. However what Nick saw next made his heart and jaw drop. Carlay stood in front of him wearing an oversized t-shirt without pants on, and there were dark circles under her eyes, like she hadn't slept well. But also her fur is unkept and her eyes were puffy red from crying. He was taken aback by her current appearance, with guilt weighing down on her heart, that he blurted out "Woah"

"What?" Carlay asked in a shaky, and angry, tone

"Just,... nevermind." Nick replied unable to answer the question "May I come in please?"

Nick didn't get a response from the vixen. Instead she just opened the door fully allowing him to enter her apartment. But once he entered, he was shocked by the state it. There were take-out containers littered along the floor, a make shift bed with a pillow and duvet on the couch and there is a tub of ice-cream, on the coffee table, that appears to be half eaten. Just seeing the state of the apartment made Nick feel really bad and he was about to apologize to her for what she's going through, after him. But then she beat him to it as she asked, in a shaky harsh tone.

"What do you want Nick?"

"I came to explain my situation with Judy, to you." Nick replied

"What is there to explain when it's obvious." Carlay said as she made her way to her couch and sat down, while she continued "Y'know I thought after all the crap I've been through in my life, I finally find the one. The right guy for me, but turns out that he is just a jackass like everyone else."

"No you got it wrong Carlay." Nick said as he sat down next to her "Look, you thought I was with Judy while I was dating you, you're wrong. I dumped her the same day you and I started to date."

"Why did you dump her?" Carlay asked in disbelief

"She made us both go through this casual arrangement where we act as a couple of good friends in public. Then we would be boyfriend-girlfriend by ourselves. However if someone were to ask one of us out on a date, we had to tell them that we already have someone. But we're not supposed to refer to each other, and I hated that. Because it gives the impression that we are both embarrassed and ashamed to call the other one our mate in public." Nick replied then looked down at the floor "But also, I did the same thing to someone I dated and loved in high school and I regret doing it to them. However I learned from that time and improved on it. I don't want to talk about it by the way."

"Okay." Carlay said respecting Nick's request "But what made Judy decide on this arrangement for you guys?"

"She was concerned about what mammals would say about her if they saw her holding paws with a fox in public." Nick replied in an annoyed tone "I told her it was stupid to be so worried about what others say. Because it would lead her to live a life of misery. But instead of listening to me, she basically told me that if I wasn't happy with it. I had to either back off from her or continue with it because it's the only way that we can be together. Hence why I dumped her that day."

"And after time passed, she realized her mistake and wants to make things right with you." Carlay said after contemplating a moment on their situation.

"That is the case right now." Nick said confirming her assumption "But I made her promise me that, from now on if anything comes up that impacts us both. We would face it together as equals in a relationship, no one-sided decisions. Also we would end the casual arrangement immediately. She agreed with me and we started holding paws in public, which is a good start in the right direction."

"That's good to hear." Carlay said softy "But if that's how you guys were, while dating. How did you get together in the first place?"

"That was complicated." Nick replied "Back then we were a couple of good friends. But one day I realized that I had feelings for her, and I knew that she felt the same way. However when I confessed mine she didn't, instead she said that it was inappropriate and we should stay friends. We spend the next two months arguing about her feelings. Until one day, while we were at work and heading for patrol, I gave her an ultimatum. She either had to confess her feelings or I will request a different partner for work. I didn't like putting her on the spot like that, but I had to. She got angry, of course, but she told the truth. She didn't speak to me for the remainder of that day and the next day. She only spoke to me when I made an attempt for a different partner. We talked the situation over that day and kept our friendship. Then after a week passed we started dating."

"Woah, sounds like this girl cost you a lot of trouble." Carlay said, then with a concerned expression she asked "But is being with her really worth it, if she's done these things to you and will do more intense things in the future?"

"Well, the thing is, I love her so much. I actually see myself getting married to her one day, I even plan to propose to her someday soon." Nick replied while slightly blushing "But before that, we would have to work out our issues with one another. But I hope you understand now the situation I have with Judy, and that you feel a bit better."

"Well I am grateful that you told me all of this Nick." Carlay said "But no I am not feeling better at all and it's because of that." She then pointed to an opened envelope on the coffee table next to the tub of ice-cream.

"What is it?" Nick asked while he looked at what she is pointing at

"You can read it if you want." Carlay said as she looked down at the floor in sadness. While she heard Nick getting up from the sofa to retrieve the envelope.

When he got it, he noticed he picked up a folded letter with it. He realized that it was what Carlay was referring to. He set the envelope back on the coffee table, then he unfolded the letter and began to read it.

_Dear Carlay_

_I, your family attorny, regret to inform you that your mother Carmelita has died _

_two days ago due to cancer in her lungs. According to her doctors, she had _

_cancer for the past couple of years. But it spread to her brain fairly recently._

_Please reach out to me so that we can discuss her will._

_Yours sincerely,_

_Charles._

After reading the letter, Nick realized why Carlay is upset right now. Her mother passed away the same day they broke up. He felt even more terrible than when he first came here. He looked back to see Carlay still looking down at the floor. Nick then set the letter back down on the coffee table then went down on his knee and held her paw, to get her attention, as he said

"I am so sorry Carlay, my condolences." Carlay didn't look up at him, so he continued "Is there anything I can do for you?"

Carlay didn't say anything to him again, when he asked her that question. Instead her apartment went silent for a couple of seconds. Then the silence was broken when Carlay said suddenly, and in a harsh tone "I wish I wasn't born at all."

"What?!" Nick asked in shock, causing Carlay to retrieve her paw and get up from the sofa and walk away from him for a few steps before turning back to him.

"My whole life has been nothing but hardships and heartaches, Nick." Carlay said as tears started to form in her eyes "I mean, my own father left me and my mom before I was born. My mom worked two jobs around the clock so we could have enough money to put food on the table. I never had any friends growing up, and when I try to make friends. I get chased away for no reason other than my species. Then I have these bastards of guys who use me for no other reason but for sex. Now the perfect guy that I longed for is gone because I drove him away. But I thought that he was just like those bastards I dated. When in truth he is still the same perfect guy I've been dreaming of for years. Now my mom died, and I feel all alone." After Carlay explained how she felt, the tears that formed in her eyes started to stream down her face.

Carlay didn't realize it yet, but during her explanation Nick got up and made his way towards her. Then he stood in front of her as she continued. While she was busy sobbing, he placed his left paw on her cheek and gently brought her head up to him, getting her to open her eyes to him. Then he held her paw and gave it a gentle squeeze as he said "You're not alone Carlay, I'm still here."

"Yeah but we're not together." Carlay said as she looked away from Nick, while pouting "You're just here to set the record straight about you and Judy."

"So what if we're not dating? It doesn't mean we can't be friends." Nick said causing Carlay to look back at him "I dated two mammals at different times in my life. The relationship is over, but I'm still close friends with both of them. Which you and I can be if you want."

"*sniff* I guess we could be friends." Carlay said with a small smile.

"But on the matter of what you said about me being the perfect guy in a relationship, I'm not Carlay." Nick said as he wiped her eyes from the tears "I'm not perfect, nobody in life is. But it's the imperfections of both mammals in the relationship that makes it work. Like me with Judy, for the most part. But for you, someday the 'perfect mammal' that you wanted will come before you know it."

"Well if that's the case, Judy is an idiot for breaking up with you." Carlay said in a serious tone "Or even doing anything bad to you."

"Okay, I both agree and am against you calling Judy an idiot." Nick said "She's a mammal, like all of us. But what can make us all better mammals is to recognize and acknowledge our mistakes. Then learn and improve on them, just like she is doing with her 'casual arrangement' for us. She realized how terrible it was and dropped it for good."

"I guess that's true." Carlay said agreeing with him

"Um Carlay, what I'm about to ask might be considered a bit touchy for you." Nick said nervously "Are you going to try to contact your dad and tell him about what happened to your mom?"

"You're right that was a touchy question to ask me." Carlay shouted in an angry tone as she backed away from Nick "And no, I'm not going to contact that bastard!"

"Woah what's going on?" Nick asked calmly while raising his paws to try to calm Carlay down.

"I'll tell you Nick." Carlay said in a harsh tone "Sometime after high school I found out that he remarried a vixen. She's the same vixen he cheated on my mom with years ago, they've been together since. Now they have two kids, they're both boys and they are around 6 and 8 years old. I was at a store and I recognized him from the pictures my mom showed me when I was little. That's how I saw him, then I saw his new family."

Nick is shocked at the news Carlay just gave him. He couldn't help but feel anger slowly building up in himself. He wanted to beat up Carlays dad for leaving her and her mother alone. Then replacing them with someone else. But he figured that anyone in a situation like this would feel broken on the inside. Like how Carlay must feel now, he knew because he saw that she's busy fighting back tears that are threatening to stream down her face. After a brief moment, where he took a deep breath, he said in a sympathetic tone "Carlay, I'm sorry for bringing up your father. I didn't know what he did."

"It's fine, I didn't tell you yet." Carlay said while looking down "And I'm sorry for yelling at you."

"It's okay, Carlay." Nick said reassuring her. Then after a second, and seeing a bit of tears forming in her eyes, he said "Um do you want me to do anything for you about, y'know?" Nick then motioned to the letter on the coffee table about her moms death.

"Just a hug please?" Carlay asked in a shaky tone.

"Come here you pretty vixen." Nick replied in a warm tone while opening his arms for a hug. Carlay then rushed into his arms and started to sob while Nick patted her on her back "There there, things will get better for you. Before you know it."

**End of Flashback...**

This is the end of part 1. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE Review

And special thanks to Camoss for his input on this part of the chapter

Considering that this was such a long wait for an update. I think it best that if you guys want to stay up to date on progress of this and other stuff. Then I recommend that you follow me on my Twitter account: Spectra982 I will keep you updated as much as possible.


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